food – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Give way to oncoming women

Or “yield” as I believe the Americans would put it.

You might imagine your life would be harder if you really cut down on spending on yourself – but actually, it will be much, much harder if you don’t.

Oddly enough, the most unpleasant-tasting thing a domme has ever made me ingest in session was something that was actually intended to be food: a jar of cheese and cauliflower babyfood. No wonder babies learn to talk so quickly, if that’s what we’re feeding them.

No, no Brer Fetish Model … please don’t make me clean out your sweaty latex!

Good thing you’ve got something to do to take your mind off the humiliation of what’s going on upstairs.

Fortunately I’m largely immune to SPH as my ego is even smaller, if such a thing can be imagined.

Yes: blame yourself. She always does, so why quibble?

Perilous prose

You have to slap pretty hard to get the ketchup sachet to burst open. But then you have to slap pretty hard anyway – she insists on it – so don’t worry about that. Worry about other things.

And she’ll make sure you’re penciled in for one of the first slots available in her schedule after her holiday, OK?

I once told a domme I couldn’t really cope with public humiliation and she just looked at me strangely and asked how I managed in day to day life, never leaving the house. I think she must have misunderstood me.

Don’t worry, her travel insurance will make sure she gets all the money she needs after your tragic and unexplained disappearance.

My SO once had an affair with a lesbian sub and I was over the moon, because I thought finally there’d be another submissive to share the chores. But apparently lesbian D/S “doesn’t work like that”. And the attitude to chastity play was a bit different too… a lot different, if I’m honest.

Relationships founded on respect

Not mutual respect, obviously. No fun in that.

Go on, it’s an opportunity to show off your strength. Girls like that.

An optional 150% service charge will be added to his bill, but of course it’s entirely at her discretion.

I don’t think ‘we’ are going to be doing a lot of talking, except of the begging and pleading variety. Same as usual.

There are penalties for average scores below ‘B’ and rewards for slaves receiving an overall ‘A’, although no one has ever found out what those rewards might be. This guy here is averaging a ‘G’, but then he is very experienced and well-trained so it’s not surprising he’s doing so well.

We were bent over the desk, dreading every stroke, I think, if I remember rightly – and wondering why we can’t just enjoy normal sex, like normal people do.

When her pet-name for you is ‘maggot’

… then you know you’re onto a good thing.

Make sure you get the right one, this time.

She’ll have plenty of sex and plenty of money – she prefers to get them from different people, that’s all. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?

Sexual pleasure is over-rated anyway, so I have been led to understand.

Princess Neive and Miss Analisa, there, and also here. But neither working in person any more, I believe, alas.

Oh well. You can enjoy watching her eat too, I suppose, just like you watch her do the other thing.

I asked a sex worker for a nurse roleplay session and when I got there she threatened to go on strike, harangued me about the state of NHS funding and then fell asleep, exhausted after a 14-hour shift. Exactly as I’d asked for in my pre-session email… what a pro.

Praise where it’s due

Actually, in context that word made perfect sense. Just like the words “worm”, “pervert” and “weirdo” in the various contexts she used them in your last performance review.

Good practice for tomorrow. Sven’s a bit larger – and I imagine his brothers are similar.

Lucy doesn’t mind. She’s nice like that.

Easier just to run the sessions in parallel, you might think. And if anyone paid the slightest attention to what you thought, maybe you’d be right, but they don’t so you’re not.

Then later on, you can clean up the sticky messes upstairs too. Probably won’t taste as nice, so make the most of this bit.

Took my hand and so unkindly

…cut me down with words so cruel

Many men just don’t appreciate how painful high-heeled shoes can be.

There’s a place near me that does them ready-stomped. Very wide range of toppings too.

I hope her arm’s not getting tired, the poor thing. I think someone’s doing all the work in this relationship.

She has great influencing skills.

Yes, but apart from that…?

Angels and devils

My SO hates being accused of cruelty – she’d rather be thanked for it.

Maybe Susie will call you – you know, to even the score?

It’s odd seeing your own cock, scaled up by 300%. Odder still to feel it.

Honestly, does it really matter? I mean, the script doesn’t specify exactly what it is, so it’s hardly going to affect the finished production.

The lovely ladies of Cruella, of course. Enjoying the balmy English summertime, there.

The needle looks a little scary, but really don’t worry: it’s nothing compared to the other stuff that’s planned.

Her opinion matters

It does – like many other men, I discovered early on in married life how much pain can be caused by not listening carefully enough to my partner’s concerns.

Hmm. It’s hardly surprising they don’t send her the best boys they have, if she keeps on breaking them. But I don’t want to be the one to tell her that.

Unnecessary rudeness can leave such a nasty taste in the mouth.

Mistress wants her slave to put his clothes back on – quietly now! – tiptoe off to the dungeon door and silently fuck off. There’s a good boy.

It’s good they’re all labelled because the faces usually get a bit messed up and hard to recognise, particularly those who were married when they arrived.

Try not to judge her too harshly. He is very annoying.

Her object all sublime

And they say romance is dead.

Remarkably, it’s still valid in the UK even after Brexit, as that Convention is not an EU instrument – indeed it predates it, having come into existence in 1953. Not particularly amusing, sexy or femdommy but actually true (see – you get a lot of useful information from this blog, as well as useless nonsense). You might wonder, therefore, whether she actually has any legal justification to ban the invocation of the Convention in session – but I advise you to take that up with her.

They have a standard service charge of 175% for pay-piggies. But you should tip, too.

Many men’s misconceptions about lesbian sex actually have a biological basis: specifically, their brains are too small to understand it.

It’s good that she gets a chance to practice in a safe environment, where it really doesn’t matter if anything goes wrong.

Extra one that I’ll push out there while it’s still a bit topical:

Category: food