Effortless superiority

Oh well. Being beaten by Simon’s no fun, but there’ll be other guests who want a go too, so…
It’s good when fetishes are complementary* like that.  A friend of mine went on a date with a girl he really fancied, who turned out to have a castration fetish – and that just wasn’t his thing at all. So he hasn’t dated her since.  Or anyone, come to think of it.   Sad, really.
Of course, it’s not just about penis length.  Girth matters too.
Crush fetish again!
Oh.  OK.  (Damn!)





* Now come on, EditorDomme!  Is there another fetish blog anywhere on the Internet that knows the difference between complementary and complimentary?  As you know I take (and ocasionally receive) a lot of pains over my grammar.  I could of just written any old rubbish, but I choose my words with care.




Note: due to technical incompetence out of my control, I don’t have a good record of which captions I posted between July and October this year (and I am not looking through all the blog posts to check…).  So any males reading this who see a caption they’ve seen here before can do some work, for once in their lazy, feckless lives, and let me know in the comments.

Simple instructions

Of course, if you’re fetish happens to be ‘working all the hours there are in a mindnumbingly dull office job to earn money for her to spend on male prostitutes’ then you’ve really hit the jackpot here.
There are painful side effects if you take less than the recommended dose, by the way.

There were actually supposed to be a lot more men there, but Clara messed up the email invitation. If you think you’re uncomfortable, just imagine how she‘s feeling right now!
Oh. OK, then.
Hmm. I wonder what she’s planning to keep in there, then, if not you?


Hyperaggressive femininity

Sometimes, it’s not the joke but how you tell it.  I can always get my SO to laugh in session by telling a long joke, as long as I’m screaming and pleading hysterically for mercy as I try to get the words out.

Sorry about the joke, by the way.  Works better with nuns… one of the few things that does.

 

Oh well.  Potentially there’s reincarnation to look forward to, I guess.

 

Typical woman.  Why not just discuss it straight away?  So much more efficient.

 

That’s not strictly accurate.  He actually can complain.  As much as he likes really.

 

Reminds me of the way my SO ‘helps’ me with the housework sometimes,

Unsafe words

…and some bloody dangerous pictures too.

Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones.  And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously.


Oh well.  Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose.

I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV.


She wishes she didn’t have to do this, you know.  She hates pain.  Oh no, hang on – that’s him.  Never mind.  She’s fine with it. 


Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances.  But it’s never that close, admittedly.

…and a bonus topical one: 
 

Reasons to be fearful

You need to be careful about dehydration, as that can cause brain damage.  So, if the sub’s higher brain functions are important to you, make sure you give him plenty of water.  But if not, don’t worry about it.

 

Somehow I’m guessing that saying ‘no – sorry, I think there’s nothing here like that’ would not actually result in the beating being cancelled.

You just have to learn to masturbate without using your hands. Or moving.

It’s the difference between a cold, professional relationship and the warm partnership of a real marriage.

There’s a lot more of it, though.


All that she wants

… she gets.

Best not to argue.  You don’t want to end up with your allowance stopped again.

You would.  Well, you can’t shoot a smoking scene with unlit cigarettes.  Looks like they’re going to have to revert to plan B: ball-busting.

And we all know how slowly that can be.

She’s going to get their top saleswoman award this month. Quite remarkable, with only one client.

Anyway, she’s got a bunch of medical gear, so if it goes wrong she’s well-prepared.


The power of love

Make a one man weep, make another man sing.

NB – in my experience, however, you do need a credit card (or more often an envelope stuffed with cash) to ride this particular train.

And you don’t want to be sore, as well as a loser.

He’ll be given a chance to taste the same wine she’s drinking too, in due course.

Ah yes.  My fault.  Of course.

Oh, she should try being a bit more creative.  She’s in a chemist’s shop (trans: pharmacy) after all.  I’m sure there will be plenty of things they sell that taste really nasty. Anything labelled ‘Not to be taken internally’ is worth a go. 

He’s lucky she’s not displeased with him, isn’t he?


Incorrigible

and believe me, several ladies quite skilled in the art of correction have tried.

Truth and consequences.

Best years of your life.


They seem rather indecisive for such otherwise forceful ladies.  I hope they make their minds up soon… can’t hang about in here all day.

They don’t have tribunals for gross professional misconduct in dreams – that could be another way to tell the difference, in due course.

Good to see them upholding basic safe play standards.  See, many people think pro-dommes are uncaring but it just ain’t so.


Take me, I’m yours

Because dreams are made of this.


And if she isn’t free, your daughter’s got lots of other friends who could step in.

Did you have something better to do? No?  Well then.

That half a day’s going to drag a bit.  I hate not really having anything to do, you know?

Those two extra legs make all the diference.  Insects don’t usually have such big fangs too.
Could be a career breakthrough here.  Make yourself valuable to stars like Gigi Allens and who knows where you might go?


Domesticated bliss

Actually: confession time. I, servitor, am not actually into femdom at all. It’s all a cruel punishment perpetrated upon me by an evil woman who forces me to spend hours each week scouring the internet for pictures of ladies in leather boots, or holding canes – which don’t excite me at all! – and write silly captions on them. Oh, the torment.

Well, these things matter, y’know?  Sure, Kurt’s main priority right now is to spend the night fucking your wife like a piledriver.  But in the morning, he’s going to want a nice fresh pair of briefs to pull over his aching cock, amiright?

My SO, a few of her friends and I played this game with a tattoo pen once.  Goodness, we laughed!  Some of us.

Would it be to make a banana smoothie?

Cultural norms can vary a lot, even within the same country. At the office where I work, for example, I’m allowed on the furniture and to drink water without asking permission.