female-led relationships – Page 13 – Contemplating the divine

Pink? Pink? Well, what’s wrong with pink?

Seems like you got a pink kink in your think!

Thank goodness I’m not going to be the only one there in pink, anyway.

I only went for the make-up tips anyway.

Ah – the rolling pin! Just in that sweet spot between loving domestic discipline and cranial fracture.

Time to come out and play!

Nor are there many rhymes for “penectomy”. I mean, you can just about work something in with “respect for me” but it’s a bit contrived, don’t you think? And we don’t like to have excessively contrived notions here on Contemplating the Divine, as you probably know.

Compliance training

He’ll do OK on personal appearance too. He looks like a cringing, terrified little worm, which is exactly how she likes it.

Don’t you just hate it when the dates of your personal appraisals at home and at work coincide?

Don’t worry, the HR people will deal with this sensitive matter appropriately, too. Perhaps you ought to drop round, thank them for resolving the matter so speedily? They’re the unsung heroines of the workplace, in my view.

Chemical castration – some say it’s a valid alternative to physical castration, but I say why not try both?

Don’t worry – I don’t mean actual ‘bears’! No bestiality in this blog, thank you very much! No, the caption is suggesting a scene in which this lady is renting out her – husband, boyfriend, stepfather, slave? – to anyone who calls and on this occasion it’s going to be a group of big, hypermasculine male hairy biker types. He is presumptively heterosexual by inclination, so the implication is that she is lying, exhibiting gratuitous cruelty to her insignificant other. OK? There – now you can enjoy the caption. Anyone confused by any of the captions in this blog is recommended to read the template post, available here.

Impertinence

Well, that doesn’t seem very fair. I mean, does Andrew have to ask my permission when he comes in and puts his big muddy boots up on my nice clean chairs? I think not.

And for you.

Mmm… sissy maid play. Sheer erotic indulgence, every day from 6am right through to bedtime. Hope there’s gruel.

Actually he has a surprise for her. You know those shoes she threw out into the dumpster and thought she’d never see again? Well…

Meek and feeble

He’s made a lifetime commitment.

My SO always says a bit of bruising on a man’s face can be quite attractive, anyway.

Actually, the market is a bit limited as sissy husbands tend not to have much time for reading, or a lot of pocket money.

It’s all a bit academic (if you’ll pardon the pun), actually, because the school moved four years ago and there isn’t actually a Staircase B any more. Still, that’s no excuse for not memorising the rule properly, is it, boy?

I think the correct response is “Mmmmphh!”

Little man you’ve had a busy day

… so it’s time for a spanking, then all tucked up for an early night with hands secured in your special mittens. Don’t worry about wifey – she’ll find something to amuse herself with.

You’ll probably also find that you prefer not to watch sport on TV and you love going to bed early. In fact, you’re going to discover a lot of things about the real you. Isn’t that nice?

I used to worry that women would discover I’m really rubbish in bed. But so far, as luck would have it, the situation just hasn’t arisen, so that’s OK.

There are probably a few things bothering him just at the moment. And there’ll be a few more, quite soon afterwards, I expect.

It’s nice they can sing while they’re working. I mean, having to end another human’s life, it’s a serious and depressing business, isn’t it? Good for them – keeping their spirits up like that.

Ah.. now that takes me back. I remember the very first face-slap of my married life. It was about – oooh, seven seconds after the last face-slap of my unmarried life, as I recall.

At Her Majesty’s displeasure

And she’s actually having a lot more heterosexual sex than before the change, so it’s all going rather well.

The wonderful Mistress Eleise, of course. Do you need the link? I’m sure you’ve visited her site already, no?

Oh no, not Oliver. I just don’t think we have anything in common, you know?

Hmmm… Maybe if she worked in metric?

Oh well. On with the marital bliss, I suppose.

I’m usually in the corner at parties, myself.

Indignity

Try hopping back and forth from one leg to the other. That can help a lot.

Well, OK, as long as it’s safe, sane, consensual and well-deserved. Or any two of those, anwyay.

People say that to keep up a diet you have to be really strict with yourself, but I’ve found that someone else being strict works just as well.

While you’re down there, you notice Simon’s shoes are quite badly scuffed – and there’s a client meeting later. What do you do? (a) say nothing, (b) let him know or (c) give them a quick polish yourself, as you’re there anyway. Take your time, there are no ‘wrong’ answers.

Well, as long as she remembers to keep it charged this time.

Simply divine, darling

It’s always such a relief when finally the boxes are all unpacked, there’s a chain the right length in each room, all the pillories and cages have been assembled and you can get back to ordinary married life, for goodness sake.

She’s always taken roleplay very seriously. They tried medical fetish play once and it didn’t turn out well.

Making a decision of my own free will, to do exactly whatever she has told me, immediately, is the secret to a happy life I find.

Oh, you’ve already promised to honour and obey him, so adding love to the mix doesn’t change much.

The truth will not set you free.

That’s what she said

There’s a lot of give and take in their relationship, as you can see.

That one’s called ‘the tickler’. Come on – arms up to the shackles – this is going to be fun!

Men’s
libbers just need to spend more time reflecting quietly on how lucky
they are to be living in a female-led society, if you ask me. In the
corner, with a well-smacked bottom, preferably.