Ladylike behaviour

A caption from the days before teleworking, of course.  These days busy executives can do a full working day and tawse their husbands as often as needed, all without even leaving the house.



Obviously, men are allowed in the toilets to clean them – but that’s a privilege reserved for the best-behaved and longest-serving residents.




If they put that finding together with the body profile they deduced from the outsized maid outfit also found in your house, they just might get a clear picture of what happened.  Science is great, isn’t it?  Just ask Serena and Alice.

Some people who are generally quite dim can turn out to be brilliant at maths.  Just like some of us with quite high IQs can often be fucking useless stupid morons – or as often as I can afford to pay people to tell me I am, anyway.




He must have very good genes.  Shame there’s no question of them being passed on to the next generation.






Savage elegance

… and elegant savagery too.  Both are good.

 

She’s being remarkably patient with you, but patience has its limits you know.

 

 

I’m not sure it’s entirely sensible to assign such an important task to someone who is obviously completely unqualified and inexperienced.  Those plants need just the right amount of water: too much and they drown, too little and they dry out.

 


He’ll have plenty of opportunity to think about it, which is just as well, given he is male.

 

 

Poor Treasure… I’m sure she is wracked with paroxysms of guilt.  Maybe she needs a kiss and a cuddle, hmm?
 

 

 

Girl talk… good thing the guys have got more important things to be getting on with, than sitting around listening to her prattle on.

A good hard marriage

… that’s what most men need.


She’s getting mixed signals here.  Fortunately, the ones she’s giving are entirely consistent.




Thank goodness for that.




My own SO avoids this problem by only fucking guys who despise me.  Fortunately, that doesn’t restrict her freedom of action at all.



Honestly, given the choice between fucking her and fucking you, it’s hard to see how anyone could prefer not to play it straight.  But some guys have weird sexual preferences.  I’ve heard.


Actually, I have a funny story about a pair of masturbation gloves and some nettles.  Well… it was funny at the time, anyway.  For her.



If it’s Tuesday this must be femdom

Fortunately their arguments are usually quite short.  She’s very sensitive, poor thing – hates it when there’s disagreement in her marriage.

 

 

Her husband’s very sensitive too, which is just the way she likes it.

 

 

“This slave is so privileged to have the honour of directing your divine footsteps, Mistress, and ventures most humbly to suggest that Mistress’s perfect feet should first take a left (by which is meant her left, needless to say, not the left from the perspective of this worthless insect), then…” etc etc.

 

 

Apparently one of his favourite maledom fantasies concerns ‘caning to real tears’.  So he’s in for a real treat today because that’s definitely on the agenda.

 

 

 

Just to be clear: she’s fairly unlikely to hold with that sort on nonsense after the wedding day, either. And there are other words for which you’d be wise not to dispute her definition: ‘husband’, for instance.

 

 

 

Warning: immature content

 Don’t proceed past this point if you’re offended by implicit sexual imagery.

 

Some women won’t even let men know they’re upset.  I’m glad she’s being so forthright.




I think she’d be good at humiliation play, don’t you?  She could build on her knowledge of real clients who want real sex – and draw a few sharp comparisons.




It’s a natural gift.  That and practice.  And a lot of Gaviscon, if I’m honest with myself.


Actually, this reminds me of yet another depressing contrast between fantasy and reality I encountered in one of the very first times I sessioned with a domme, having been too nervous to do so, for many years.  (NB: don’t be like this guy!  Contact a domme!  It’ll be lovely; she’ll be lovely!).  With the wonderful lady, now retired, who stars as ‘Mistress Valerie’ in my early stories.  ANY-way, so back then she smoked (then she gave up – clever, strong Mistress).  So I did the human ashtray thing – wow, yeah, ash flicked into my mouth!  Oh the humiliation!  And then she gave me a near-finished cigarette butt to eat, and eager Servitor chewed and swallowed and… and… spent the remaining hour of that two hour session, with stomach churning, heart racing from the nicotine and generally feeling like he would soooo rather be somewhere else.  Oh well.  Did it once.  Thank you, Mistress. 



Rather like other much-maligned minorities, lesbians who happen to have jobs that involve castrating men often lean into the stereotype by embracing the otherwise offensive phrase.  One of Jennifer’s co-workers likes to wear a badge saying “Warning: castrating lesbian”.  It breaks the ice at parties and she does get served very quickly in bars. But she also has to explain to women who are annoyed with their husbands or boyfriends that she can only do it within the legal framework… unless they’re really cute wives and and girlfriends, in which case she’s been known to make an exception.



No, I just wanted to spend a few more seconds staring into those eyes…




Describable agonies

Finally treated as a grown-up!  Looks like all that pleading and whining paid off.


So do I.  That’s why I run this blog.




See, the thing about chastity routines is all those little ‘fines’ and ‘extras’ can really add up.  I’m supposed to be on monthly release but sometimes I can go six months without, what with one thing or another.  And apparently asking what I am being fined for is ‘impertinence’ for which I get an additional three months !  Sometimes it just doesn’t seem fair, although I’m sure she intends it to be.




No, not that kind of cage.  The sort you live in.  Permanently, it would seem.  Interesting philosophical question: if a door is welded shut, is it still a ‘door’?  Something to think about, eh?  You’ll have plenty of time…



I was once told ‘be careful what you wish for’ in femdom but I’ve never really understood why.  I mean I fervently, desperately wish she’d stop whipping me, most days, or I wish in increasing frustration for sexual release.  Neither wish has the slightest effect, so I really don’t see the harm in it.

A few bad men

Let’s hope she learns from this little conundrum.  An espresso machine prepared and ready to go just within button-pressing reach of a pilloried hand and she can have her aching, tearful, regretful husband and a freshly brewed cup, both at the same time. 




Most of the choices I face are no-brainers, which all the women who have ever known me would probably agree is just as well.

Princess Kali, there – lovely and an accomplished author too.



She could even theme your confession with the outfit by putting the lasso of truth around you. That would be a nice, gentle start to what is about to happen.


 

Let’s hope the greeting ritual she chooses is number 17.  I’m particularly good at that one.

 


 

Come on… you’ve got this.  Two pawns down is nothing – you started with ten of them, right?  Something like that.  Try moving one of the little horsey ones.

Fiercely feminine

Take it from me as a long-serving married man, you really don’t want to discuss it.  Let alone ‘discuss’ it.

 

 

 

Obviously.

 

There’s a thin line between chivalry and criminal sexism but fortunately we have women to help police that line – and run the re-education camps for anyone who teeters over it.

 

 

 

He’s just a bit nervous about getting married… which is silly, really, when you think about it.

 

 

 

Actually, the entire blog is literally nothing but a lot of fuss over a little smacked bottom.  With wholly inadequate thinking time set aside for it.


 

Misfortunate males

Oh dear, not again.  You’d think she’d have learnt to be more careful by now.

 

 

 

My SO promised me, when she brought out my first little maid’s dress that if it ever became too humiliating, I could take it off.  So far, apparently it never has – in fact, she generally thinks it’s not humiliating enough – so we’ve not really tested that, but it’s good to know.  Safeguards are important.

 

 


Respect is very important in a marriage.


Young people in love can be so romantic… let’s hope he gets out of their way quickly.




This humble slave once assumed ‘supplication position #3’ to ask its revered and powerful Mistress whether She would gracefully consent to granting Her humble slave the precious gift of a high-protocol BDSM relationship, but she just told it to fuck off and stop being so irritating.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forceful females, meek males

Oh dear.  You had one job… Well, OK, you had several jobs if you count all the chores and you even had two jobs at a time during the spit-roasting bit but you know what I mean.




It’s their ‘rattan’ anniversary.




Maybe she should.  I hope she makes her mind up quickly rather than dithering about it… odd, because she’s usually very decisive.



 

The extra said yes – well, of course he did – but sadly the scene was cut from the movie.  He has developed quite a successful career though and has now had several minor speaking roles.  He was “Squeaky-voiced guy in elevator” in one of the recent Marvel movies, for instance.

 

 

 

It’s the way she tells them.