As specks of dust we’re universal

I love this song. It’s got nothing at all to do with femdom, except in the sense that obviously no male could ever write something so great (unless inspired by a muse, I suppose).  So: SFW warning if you click the link, yeah?


Right. On with the poppycock.





Or don’t be brave. To be honest, Trudy doesn’t really mind either way.
Always a bit dull listening to someone describing their dream, isn’t it?  Still: better humour her.  Don’t want to be whipped.

I wish she didn’t have to as well.  So why does she?
After a session with a domme I’d been seeing for a while, I asked what she really thought of me, but she just laughed and told me to fuck off and book a humiliation session.  I guess she must have mis-heard.
She’s not really looking to discuss this, by the way. She’s just sharing how she feels – it’s a Mars/Venus thing, yeah guys?  Just go with it.


Seductive logic


I understand they have some extra toppings to add, too.


Seems only fair.  He was up half the night, poor chap.

Knew I should have gone with the gift card.

I went to see the St Trinians movie as soon as it came out, but I was a bit disappointed that I was the only one who’d bothered to dress up for it.  

Thanks for coming.


Libidon’t



Actually, I often find myself lying awake at night thinking about some tiny little thing or other.









Sounds ideal. If you’re wondering how occasional the kinky sex is planned to be, the answer is that it depends very much on the other stuff.
How does she know I’m creepy? I haven’t even said anything creepy yet.
My SO’s boyfriend is quite broadminded and doesn’t object to her having a submissive as such – apparently it’s just me he can’t stand.

Yes. Much better not to know.







…and as a special extra treat, and at the possible cost of infecting my computer with every virus from here to Sunday, as I looked for video-editing software, here is an animated GIF…






Woooo!


Well, I’m impressed.  I mean by the way I was able to add the captions.  I don’t mean by her.  She is – obviously – truly… deeply impressive.

She’s my lady…

…I’m her boy.

No, just need a lamp-post to raise my leg against some time soon, that’s all. No rush.






A range of sizes  – but all boyfriend-sized, not you-sized, yeah?  Mike’s friends will be real guys.








Actually, it’s extremely good practice because they don’t usually bother to fill the pool with water.
How very kind of her.
She should make sure she gets his consent first, though. Or during – whatever’s easiest.


Controllable lust




I’ll just slip into something less comfortable before we start…







Alan’s still a little nervous about the situation, OK?  So nothing too freaky when he comes round. 
Still, she looks good in it.  A bit of a waste if she doesn’t wear it often… it was quite expensive, after all. Still, I’m sure you don’t want her wearing something uncomfortable just for you, do you?

If it’s any consolation, the amount of her time you’ll be getting for free would run into tens of thousands of pounds, if she were charging in a consensual session.

That’s almost as good. And a lot cleaner.


Service orientation



My SO’s always had the same rule.  Sulky face = semen face.  Simple, no argument.


Or breakfast, if you’re not hungry enough by tonight.
I’d end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me.  It’s important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy.

Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business.

My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children.  When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too.


Slavish obedience




A bit presumptuous, from someone I only met five minutes ago.  What makes her so sure I won’t just wander off and never meet her again?




 
You might think that after this experience she’d become a pro-domme, but actually she’s fine with the escort business, as long as she can occasionally beat clients up.
Now here’s a professional lady more focused on the subculture’s needs!
Some of the sales team made the mistake of telling potential customers that they’d be physically punished if they didn’t meet their sales targets.  5% of customers did buy more, in sympathy, 75% just laughed it off as a joke but the remaining 20% immediately cancelled their orders. All women, oddly enough.








The run’s extended by three months, but after that it seems they’re likely to run out of convicted sex offenders.  Of course, there are always more sex offenders being convicted – but strangely, the sexual crime rate fell by 75% soon after the show opened. Ironic, huh?

120 minutes a slave

…followed by a slightly stilted conversation while putting my clothes back on, a quick hug, a kiss of her hand, then back out and switch on the mobile to find out what craziness has been going on at work while I’ve been in session.




You can get upgraded to business class.  The container’s only slightly bigger (though you do feel the difference after a long flight, I find) but you get meaty chunks from a proper tin of food instead of those dry pellets.
Nurses have seen it all, of course, but many women find it quite offensive when a man visibly develops an erection in their presence.  My SO certainly does, and has been helping keep that side of my personality under tight control.

Sometimes you can tell even without looking at them.  And sometimes you just beat them anyway, on the off-chance.  It’s all good.
On my very first date, I actually had a premature orgasm – which was very embarassing.  You see, I was wearing light-coloured trousers, so when she opened the door and said hello, I exploded in a very visible dark stain.  Fortunately, that was the last bad thing that happened on that date, although I did almost get caught on the nose by the door as it slammed shut again.
What do we want? Justice!


I’m going to be, what she wants me to be

My girl (2 – the one with the sexier video – from the 1969 movie Sweet Charity).  

I’ve always been a sucker for a ‘dominatrix ponytail’ – and there are a lot more of them in this clip from the original movie.

Sounds like the perfect evening to me. I think there might even be half a packet of Hob-nobs left.









She can be very reasonable.  Also, surprisingly unreasonable.  But that’s married life.

Serious stuff: Marcia’s job’s on the line here.  I’ll keep you posted if there are any developments.
He’s moved on.  Why can’t she?
There: the science has proved it.  ‘Men are almost as fully human as women’.  I shall have to make sure my SO reads this. Perhaps she’ll start treating me as a near-equal.

Thigh five

… which is obviously a made-up phrase.  Oddly, though, there are many two-word phrases in the English language beginning with the word ‘thigh’ and every single one of them is erotic. Strange but true. 

Unlike, say, the words ‘rancid’ or ‘viscous’, unless you’re really weird and we don’t like weirdos on this blog, thank you very much.


You can do anything*, but don’t wank on my black suede boots. 

* No you can’t.





You might imagine that this young lady is headed for a stellar career as a professional dominatrix, but as things turned out she actually became the head of Ryanair’s Customer Complaints department.  So there you go.

Dave’s need is greater than yours. Well.. his cock certainly is, anyway.
It’s OK as long as I keep my mind off all thoughts sexual
Ocasionally, when I have an idea for a caption, I’ll worry that one of the many, many other femdom caption sites on the Internet will already have done it. This one, not so much.


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