Category: caption

With every intention of surrendering to fifty-foot women

Oh and the pain is so sweet.

Yay, it’s another science fiction special!  Yay…?

 


 

 

 


 

 

 



He does.  He’s actually a very unpleasant human being. Believe me: I’ve known him for over 50 years.

 

Superior sex

 She is it, and she also has it.


Perhaps you should discuss her salary expectations soon, as I think right now they are increasing rapidly.


She uses ‘cruelty free’ cosmetic products but I’m afraid that attitude extends only to animals. Non-human animals, I mean.


The system is open to abuse by women seeking to save money on nursing care for their elderly male relatives unfortunately. But a recent inquiry into the prevalence of false accusations of crminal sexism concluded (a) that it was not so very high and (b) that the old bastards probably deserved it anyway. So that’s all right.


Imagine putting her to so much trouble. And he calls himself submissive…


The lady visting OWK in this pastoral scene is Goddess Sophia, whose cages, canes and (most memorably) gloriously swishy rubber dress Servitor has had the honour to experience – and can thoroughly recommend to UK-based subs. She may or may not still be in business and is not the lady of the same name in Portsmouth, who I am sure is equally lovely.

I imagine Douglas knows many things they don’t… lots of secret little thoughts.







Pretty woman don’t make me cry

What’s that?  Oh, I ticked ‘make me cry’ on the session negotiation form?  Oh yes, so I did.  Sorry, my mistake: go ahead then.

 

Just hand me the lipstick and stand aside, little lady.  I got this.



Very public-spirited of them to help out, I say.

 

You might worry that if she just gets high grades without effort, she might end up with no skills and in a low-wage dead-end career.  Don’t worry: she’s developing lots of skills and her future in a high-paying professional career is almost guaranteed.




What, did you think she just… I dunno… abducted guys and skinned them in her basement? You’ve been reading too much lurid fantasy.  Relax, OK?


I wonder why she went too far like that?  She’s supposed to be a professional.





 

 

 

 


A kiss on the boot

 …may be quite deferential.  But diamonds…


Double what he himself would normally have to pay, that is.  So about six times the going rate for a ‘normal’ client.  But he does get to keep the shoes and ‘normal’ clients don’t get to keep the lady, so I guess he’s ahead.




Very directly.  She’d appreciate short and truthful answers too and frankly you are likely to be gasping and crying out too much to think of (still less articulate) anything complicated.

I think she should just get on with it.  A few little buzzes and he’ll almost certainly find that he agrees with her – on this and on everything.




Probably something to do with swimming. Maybe you can ask her about it later – but I’m sure you’ll both have better ideas for how to spend your wedding night than reliving old school memories.



I think the phrase he’s looking for is “Ma’am yes Ma’am!”.


Damned lies and sadistics

 

Guys need to be kept busy, preferably with female oversight, or their attention wanders. There’s no one right way to do it.  It could be anything from meticulous housework for that one special lady, through scrubbing the pavements as part of a community-run cleaning squad all the way to five years of hard labour in a male re-education camp. It’s all good.

 

 

 

If you can’t afford a lovely sound-proofed dungeon and you want to enjoy the screams, just have a word with your neighbours.  Most will be perfectly happy with the noise, as long as you talk to them about it.  And you might even find a common interest!

 The lovely Mistress Mina Thorne, of course, about to show off her CBT skills.  I’d like to link to her web site but I am not at all sure that this is actually her, as I read somewhere she is retired, sin which case I’m afraid your C and B will just have to be T-ed by someone else.  Unless she isn’t retired, in which case they won’t.  I expect someone will know?

 

 

 


So you couldn’t even save up a few weeks’ pocket money?  No wonder she prefers Harold – I mean, apart from all the other reasons, obviously.


My SO was absolutely furious when I came home once with a prescription for painkillers. She said she felt it devalued the hard work she was putting into our marriage. It was very unfeeling of me, and I have to say I did feel very uncomfortable as a result, for a long time afterwards.


 

 

 

In-laws can take some getting used to and there’s no harm in getting out of the occasional evening with a little white lie, especially if you spend that evening learning to be a better husband.


Sexual wealing

Interestingly (well… as near to being interesting as anything gets on this damp and flaccid excuse for a blog), the word ‘weal’ means both ‘a ridge or mark on flesh raised with a blow of a whip’ and ‘wealth or happiness’. Which to my mind – like the fact that ‘stroke’ means both a caress and the lash of a whip – just goes to show that there’ve been subbies around for as long as the English language has existed.  Chaucer’s ‘The Ffyndomme’s Tayle’ being a case in point, I suppose, or Shakespeare’s ‘Loves Labours Forced.’

Anyway.

Captions.


Interestingly, that rather racy outfit she’s wearing is modeled on that worn by Playboy’s Playmate of the Month from October 1842.

Attentive ‘readers’ will obviously have recognised the compassionate and sweet-tempered Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress.  You can tell she is feeling particularly merciful and forgiving, on this occasion, from the gentle smile on her lips. 

 

 

 

Honestly, if her sissy were a bit more familiar with orgasms himself he might have realised how totally inappropriate that request was.  Not that I’m excusing his selfish behaviour, you understand.

 

 

I’ve never really understood what ‘SPH play’ really consists of.  I mean, if we’re not doing ‘SPH play’ what’s she going to talk about – the weather?

 

 

 

Sometimes she puts a little extra in.  Other times she takes a little extra out.



What, all of them?


 

 

 

 



Tears are not enough

But they can help.

 

BBWs go well with SIMs – scrawny, insignificant males.

 

 

Andy wasn’t very likeable but Janet very much enjoyed his company, towards the end.

 

 

A well-equipped playroom, I see.

 

I was once taken in by a policewoman strippergram that someone had arranged as a surprise at my 18th birthday party – I actually genuinely thought I was in trouble with the law!  How we laughed when I was released six months later.

 

 

 

Kitten likes to keep the conversation focused on things that are important.

 

 

 

 

 

There’s a two-legged animal running about

 … but if it’s kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.


It can be more complicated for them to find better quality ‘playmates’, as those are often reported as missing after a while.  Which isn’t a problem – she’s even had some minor celebrities who’ve disappeared into her playroom – but it’s an added complication.


With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard.  Then it’ll be your turn.  Just give it time.


Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free!  Whatever will you do with it?  Ironing, dusting… the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you’re permitted to do, obviously).  Later on, it looks like there’ll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.




She’s enjoying it in a non-sexual way… and if you’re as exhausted and sore as she implies, you’re probably hating it in a non-sexual way too.  So that’s very compatible.



She’s quite tender-hearted, so she’ll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.