absolutely no upskirt – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Frankly, Mistress, spank me

The title of course, yet another attempt to gain a veneer of artistic respectability by quoting someone with talent, in this case The Smiths.

The song speaks to me, though, and especially this line:
I didn’t realise you wrote such bloody awful poetry

No poetry today, you’ll be pleased to hear. Onward, with feeling:

I’m not sure what this caption is on about, to be honest. All lesbian couples look like this, don’t they? It must be true – the Internet sez so.

Keeps you fit. Very good for your health. Until she reaches five, anyway.

One day I’ll meet someone who appreciates me just for what I am – a pathetic, desperate and unattractive loser who’ll willingly hand over cash for a brief moment of pretence that I am otherwise.

The lovely Princess Kali, being lovely as ever.

Just another attempt to make some positive use of the flood of male-dom pictures swirling around and polluting our beloved Internet.

The future’s bright – just not for you

More captioned images of female domination, of course.

As I’ve mentioned before: Space 1999 Devil Planet episode. See it, if you haven’t already.

Actually, most humiliatrices are kind and gently supportive, out of session. Just not with useless losers like you. Asshole.

The remarkable Lexi Sindel.

Still, on the bright side it should make sticking to her weight loss targets easier.

(The lovely Lady Heather, of course)

I think any really lasting relationship should be based on fear, don’t you?

Oh dear. You know, in these circumstances, the gentlemanly thing to do is just let her leave. And don’t even think of asking for your money back.

Spring break

Finally, Spring is here and not before time! About this time in the very first year of my marriage, my wife shyly confessed that she’s always fancied the idea of going on spring break – a week of hedonism and sex by the sea. I was a bit reluctant at first, but as usual, she got her way.

It’s become quite an annual routine in our marriage – and it does give me a chance to give the house a really good spring cleaning while she’s away.

Argh! Don’t you just know that in a few hour’s time, a really good answer to that question will just pop into your head! But by then it’ll be much too late. Always the way, isn’t it? This is the awesome Mistress Vixen, of course.

Well? Come on! As she’s made such an effort to look nice, and someone’s died horribly as a result, I think the least you can do is pay her a little compliment on her appearance? Hmm?

Yes, femdom medical play can be a bit unimaginative. The other day, my Significant Other broke my arm,and when I joked that this was a perfect time for medical play, I was up in the harness having a rectal examination before I knew it! And when I said I didn’t think it was working, she broke my other arm! Dommes, eh? Gotta love ’em.
(Mistresses Sidonia von Bork and Nina Birch of the English Mansion. They might not be able to cure you, but they’ll certainly have a go.)

Brno’s not that far. A couple of hours, at most. It can be a bit hard to find a locksmith at the weekend, though.
Image from OWK and quite possibly Mistress Karma, although I’m not sure I could swear to that, even under torture.

Ah, the joys of summer.

Hidden new post

Blogger took down one of my early postings, because of copyright violation, but as I don’t know which picture was the naughty one, I’ve created a completely new posting with five new captioned errr…images of female domination (obviously). I need a posting there, because this is the one all the search engines seem to find.

So – go here for today’s indulgences.

Oh – and here’s a pretty picture, so we still look good in links lists:

Teenage kicks right through the night

Great song, terrible idea if you have to get up and go to work the next day.

Like, totally.

Oooh. Four, I think. Yes. Four. But strangely, there’s another eight I never reach. I wonder what they’re for?

Actually you do kiss on both cheeks too. That’s the next bit, after she turns round.

I’m beginning to think that bloody die is loaded. But she wouldn’t do that to me. Would she?

Don’t forget to tell her that joke. You know – the one you found on the Internet to show her how witty you are.

What’s my fetish?

I have a wide range of sexual interests, as regular readers of this blog will know only too well. But like many bloggers in the femdom community, I am obsessed with precise definitions of terms, so I spend ages worrying about whether what I like is “really” a fetish, and discussing that obsessively in lengthy blog posts.

So – I found an online dictionary that said that something is a fetish for you, if you cannot become aroused, or achieve sexual release without it.

And that’s all I needed. I have a “Doing all my chores to her satisfaction, and not being too irritating” fetish. There’s probably a latin name for it.

Well I can’t tell you what it means. I’m not even allowed to think – let alone write – that word in English. Here, for goodness sake.

Don’t worry, you’ll find quite quickly that the pain in your knees will make you forget all about the taste in your mouth.

How embarrassing for her. I wonder what she’ll do?

It’s great when someone really enjoys their work.

Yes. Yes, that would be perfect.

New Year resolutions

To mark the passing of the old year, and the beginning of the new, I decided to ask all of the ladies who regularly appear on Contemplating the Divine to share their New Year resolutions with our ‘readers’.

Most of them just told me to fuck off and die, of course, but here are the contributions from those who did not. Oh – and believe me, when these ladies resolve to do something, it does get done.

Apparently I’m going to have some New Year resolutions too, but She hasn’t told me what they are yet. Quite exciting!

,,,and last but always first in my heart…

Pervertual reality

Welcome to my world.

You need to be careful about that. Dommes can be rather literal-minded. I told my Significant Other that my heart belonged to her, and it took quite a while (and a lot of cash) to persuade her that it was best to leave it inside me for a while.

Sometimes, one partner in the relationship has to take the first step, and really try something new, y’know?

Come to think of it, it was nothing. Forget it.

It’s just not fair on her, the way it is, do you see? Having to say no every month – it just makes her the bad guy. Come on – give a little, here.

See? Didn’t I tell you? If you don’t want them to take your requests literally, just don’t ask. Now look what you made her do.

Little things that make her laugh

…but enough about me. Ha ha.

Actually – not enough about me. I have a question, and as you readers are my favourite people I thought I’d ask you. Does anyone know of a dungeon hire/ SM studio place in Paris? You know – that hires out by the hour or so… do let me know in the comments, if you do.

I wouldn’t go if I were you. She won’t still respect you in the morning, you know. I mean, she doesn’t now.

Hmmm. Could cut through the concrete block perhaps? No, no, that wouldn’t work. Gosh, I love puzzles, don’t you?

Ooooh! A little too close for comfort there? Hmmm?

Consent. No BSDSM relationship should be without it.

Sometimes I’m all excited, really close to an orgasm, you know, and then something happens and I just can’t come. Did that ever happen to you? Just last spring, for example, I was really close and then I forgot to iron her shirt and I couldn’t come for months. The male orgasm…it’s really a mystery, isn’t it?.

Disempowering

Now that seems like an excellent objective in life. On with the captioned images (of female domination).

Femdom pony play with great big whips hurrah

Highly skilled people are the banking industry’s greatest assets, so it’s reasonable when times are hard to sell a few of them off.

What a kind offer. And they you were thinking that Emma and Laura were man-hating lesbian feminists. Just goes to show, you can never tell who will be the one to step forward with help.

Never mind. There are only 24 hours in a Thursday, just the same as the other days of the week.

Fake blonde dominatrix in slave husband dreams

A femdom fantasy in a femdom reality. How about that?

I don’t know why I’ve included this one. Nothing femdom about it. Is there?