I’m sorry, I can’t defile this with a caption. Just go to bed. I expect She’ll speak to you in your dreams.
You know, there’s a phrase I heard the other day: “Nobody’s perfect”. Now why would anyone say such a foolish thing?
Words fail me
BDSM (Beauty, Devotion, Supplication and Matriarchy)
 |
| Ahh… You know, I don’t think I could stand waiting the two minutes. |
 |
| She like totally pwns you, dude. No, really, she does. |
 |
| You can kiss as many times as you like of course. But it’s one kiss, one kick. Only fair. |
Blmmmble oopple gllmmmhhh….
 |
| You’ll find it quite easy to write the letter of apology. Because believe me, you will be truly, truly sorry by then. |
Respectfully Hers
 |
| Personally, I’d argue a little longer. Not a lot longer, my poor bottom couldn’t stand it. But maybe just a little longer… |
 |
| Plus, he now has a GCSE (that’s a British school qualification) in Albanian |
 |
| She just loves that cattle prod. Best anniversary present ever. |
 |
| Mars and Venus, revisited. |
 |
| Sometimes she goes by different names, and dyes her hair. So watch out. |
Economic forecasting
Goldman Sachs reckons that by 2050, Chinese GDP will be twice that of the USA. Makes you think, eh? It makes me think of things like this:
No, not love, she said. Don’t you know that it’s different for girls?
Joe
So, with apologies to anyone who doesn’t share my Anne Hathaway obsession (I’ll run out of pictures or get stopped by her lawyers at some point, but not yet, please lord, not yet). On with the show.
 |
| Can’t or won’t. |
 |
| Don’t worry, you won’t be conscious for all that long. |
 |
| Well, granted you’ve spent much of your life and will probably spend most of your retirement in mind-numbingly tedious drudgery. But on the plus side, you’re really good at pleats. |
 |
| Curiously, though, he will be getting the pain and humiliation you might expect in such a scene. Just not quite in the way he was expecting. |
 |
| She’ll be giving you a bit of a scolding while you’re writhing in agony on the ground, too. Psychotic, but fair. |
Reasons to be cheerful
Part 3.
 |
| Ah, the divine Miss Hathaway. Think of her when you’re being pumped from both ends, and it won’t seem so bad. |
 |
| You could try disobeying, if it’s something really horrible that she wants. I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen if you do? |
 |
| Miss Woods. She’s got plenty of time. And there are still another nine questions to go. |
 |
| Maybe she’ll let you explain afterwards, if you’re capable of coherent speech. |
 |
| Did you notice it’s Christmas? I expect she’ll enjoy unwrapping him in the morning. Or the afternoon., Whenever she gets round to it, anyway. |
I have an inferiority complex but it isn’t a very good one
Not a Woody Allen quote, remarkably, but Steven Wright.
On we go.
 |
| You have bought her an anniversary present, too, right? |
 |
| Many submissive men often feel quite uncomfortable when left by themselves. I can’t think why. |
 |
| Actually, although the “forced” is entirely accurate, “bi” is not, as it implies you get to have sex with women too. |
 |
| OK, it’s all a bit rushed. She’s a romantic traditionalist at heart, though. Believe me: you will be going down on your knees. |
 |
| Isn’t she beautiful? |
The Power and the Glory
For ever and ever. Awomen.
 |
| There’ll be plenty of things to discuss later, though. How very, very sorry you are, for example. |
 |
| The divine Miss Hathaway again. I’d like to write her a thank-you note for existing. |
 |
| Seems nice. Let’s hope this one doesn’t insist on your sleeping on the floor in the kitchen. Like the last two. |
 |
| And don’t forget to laugh at her joke, every time she makes it in front of a new client. Keep that smile on! |
 |
| I think Nurse Collins is the one on the right, but that’s just my opinion and it’s quite worthless. |
**Update. Well for some reason (probably technical incompetence) I can’t seem to comment on my own blog today, so I’ll take this opportunity to thank Ralph D for his comments. I’m glad you don’t mind my using a picture found on your site. It works the other way too, of course, so help yourself! We’re in agreement about Anne Hathaway too (and Marie Louise Parker… and what a good idea, I’ve got a few more pictures of her around here somewhere). I think it’s the eyes. You just fall in and are lost. Have you seen the Tim Burton film of Alice in Wonderland? If not, you must. Anne as an ethereal White Queen apparently innocent of all the world, but actually scheming and manipulative. Lovely. Sadly, it’s her sister the Red Queen who actually behaves like a dominatrix (“pig!”).
Captivating
 |
| Actually, the word ‘divine’ is of more recent origin in the English language than is commonly thought. It was originally coined specifically to describe Anne Hathaway, and used properly should only be employed in that context. Have a look in a big fat dictionary if you don’t believe me, or just look at the picture at the bottom of each page of this blog. |
 |
| You can go out to fetch croissants when they get up. If she gives you some money. |
 |
| I expect she’ll find a way of venting her frustration and getting over it. |
 |
| And to clean it you just run a cold shower over it for a few minutes. No need even to take it off. |
 |
| I think you’re about to find out. |
Dealing with feelings of guilt and shame
These ladies know how to do that.
 |
| Moral hazard? Isn’t that some kind of predicament bondage fetish? |
 |
| Just one of those misunderstandings about silly little things… |
 |
| Third time lucky. |
 |
| And do try not to cry all over the freshly pressed clothes this time. |
 |
| She’s just a trainee, but she’s hoping to become a fully-qualified interrogator. So she’s taking great pains to do the best job she can. Giving them too. |
