So chic so fine you all look so divine

I do my best thinking in the corner. Sadly, it’s still not very good.
Reminds me of my SO, who has a real phobia about germs. If there are any streaks left in the toilet bowl, she calls me to lick them away immediately. Hygiene’s so important to good health, after all.
Apparently, many men find female sexual fantasy hard to accept – but as long as you’re tied tightly enough, you’ll accept whatever’s going on, I say.
Yeah, it’s weird: from a very early age I had no interest in playing with toy hammers or saws but show me a mop or a dishcloth and I’d be away. I used to play in the girls’ household corner at nursery school (kindergarten to you, most likely). Well… I used to clean up their mess after class, actually, but it was play for me.
Of course in reality she’s speaking in Czech and he ain’t from round there so I’m afraid he’s not getting much of this. He has picked up a few words already in his stay, but all he’s hearing is “—- flogging —- punishment —– ball-kicking —-“. Fortunately the OWK ladies have other ways of making themselves understood.
So if he’s already had gay sex eleven times, that implies a gay/straight ratio over the course of his life of… well: infinity.

Captured moments

There are worse fates than being trodden upon.
I’m sure you wouldn’t. Not really. Not really really really. Right?
I always find it so hard to remember my details in these circumstances: my name, date of birth… all of that, just flees my brain. Fortunately my password’s ‘Shoelicker’ so that’s easy.
Thank goodness one of you came prepared.
If you think about it (and Kitten’s thought about it a lot) a pay piggie is just like an ideal sugar daddy, because Kitten gets more money to buy the things she wants, doesn’t have to have sex with anyone old and ugly and doesn’t even have to pretend to like you.

Enigmatic

Yes, just imagine how awful that would be. But don’t imagine too hard, or the spikes might start digging in painfully. Oh – too late? Sorry.
It’s amazing how modern technology can take the drudgery out of life but to a sufficiently determined woman, there’s still plenty of drudgery to be found.
I expect it’ll turn up eventually… and while it’s missing, you might even find out you could have done without it all along. It’s often that way.
Oh dear. And her feet too! Sigh. Scurry.
Don’t be so selfish – or possessive. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to get out of that last habit, now you don’t have possessions.
Mmm….

Reigning in my heart

It’s best if she doesn’t do any rowing, as she wouldn’t want to work up a sweat and ruin the shoot… anyway, that’s what she brought you for. Don’t worry, she’ll probably do some paddling later, when the two of you are back at the hotel.
So much better to come to a negotiated settlement like this than have an unpleasant fight in court. More fun for her, too.
Not a good morning for her, not going to be a good evening for you. Consequences, remember?
She’s multi-tasking: doing stuff and ignoring you.
If you want to dispute the analogy, I’m sure she’d be only too happy to force your feet into a nice pair of 5-inch heels for the last two flights.
I think Ryan would definitely say it’s up to her.

Hypnotized by you if I should linger

I will listen hard to your tuition.

‘Hmmm’ as in ‘Mmmm…hmmm…’? Or as in ‘Hmmm!’ ?
I always switch my phone off before a session, And the location thing too. Once, visiting the delightful Mistress Servalan in Sydney, my own phone ran out of battery just before I was due to call her to tell her I was on the street outside and I had to call a dominatrix on my work phone. That was briefly stressful, but Mistress Servalan managed to bust my stress almost immediately.
C’mon, give her a break, for goodness’ sake.
C’mon: be a man. A very submissive, cringing kind of man, ideally.
She won’t use the shock collar on him either. Says it’s cruel.

The divine Miss Chambers, from Cruella. Oh that nose…

But don’t get too close. 1.5 to 2.5 metres, remember? And always behind her, which can be a problem if she turns around suddenly. A problem for you, I mean. She doesn’t mind.

Whips and whims

Don’t forget your morning prayers too.
If love is there, honouring and obeying should come naturally. And if they don’t, I’m sure she can find an alternative means to encourage them.
He has… but here’s only so much misbehaviour you can get up to, muzzled and on a leash.
Don’t worry: she won’t whip you any more than necessary.
My SO finds it very upsetting when our cat catches a mouse and plays with it so cruelly. As she says, there’s a 50% chance the poor little thing is female.
It’s a future-proofed profession, because although technology obviously could automate the basic function of shit-carrying, it could never provide the same satisfaction forcing a male to do that provides to the onlooker.

And thank her afterwards

Nothing wrong with a bit of good old-fashioned pain, without all that fetishy nonsense, as my SO likes to say.
My VR settings show all women as fully clothed – even naked ones. Apparently that’s better for me.
Many girls find the sight of a penis and balls revolting – risible, even. But clip on a couple of heavy duty electrodes and most will see the erotic potential.
Actually ejaculating will be another €400 on top of that, by the way, so make sure you’ve got enough. Money, I mean, not semen: you’ve got far too much of that and need to keep it to yourself.
It’s a job with a lot of prospects – most of them quite demeaning and unpleasant.

The lovely ‘Victoria’ from Cruella, of course, with whom (in magazine form) I spent rather more time than was good for me back around 1989 or so.

Something weird with her stuff? The very idea!

Power and glory

For ever and ever…

The star jumps are the worst part.
Oi – don’t you know it’s rude to listen in on other people’s phone calls? It’s the taste of her shoes you’re paying for, not her private life.
It would have been a messy divorce. This solution is much neater.
Cum is actually quite healthy – very low fat. Just ask anyone who’s had to try to survive on a diet of nothing else.
Oh well, it’ll make a refreshing change to stand in a different corner afterwards.
My own wedding night was exhausting, I have to confess. 60 guests can leave a lot of mess.

Captive audience

Or one that would like to be so.

It just goes to show what I always say: that few marital problems can be resolved satisfactorily by cowering away in terror in a cupboard hoping she doesn’t find you.
Don’t worry: nobody’s expecting you to do anything much. They’ll do all the work, just leave it to them.
Probably just a breath mint. My SO receives monthly deliveries of a particularly effective brand of breath mints, with some long and complicated scientific name, from Myanmar. I’ve been taking one a day since soon after we got married and it’s never done me any harm, unlike many other things in our marriage.

Of course, there’s no need to discuss her expectations about you. Those are minimal, at best.

This is the fabulously beautiful and no doubt all-round fabulously fabulous Lady Perse, well worth visiting if you are in Warsaw or even if you are not. Needless to say (but I am conscious most of my readers are male, so even the blindingly obvious may need pointing out), the caption I have put on her divine image in no way represents her actual session practices, which I am sure are safe, sane, consensual and fabulous.

‘Something’? What kind of something? Why are the ladies in these captions so maddeningly unclear?

Bending to her will

Let’s hope Julie’s not still upset about that bad performance review.  Sometimes feedback can be unpleasant and hard to take – but it just has to be accepted. I hope she understands that.
Remember you’re an individual: you’re not defined entirely by what’s written on your collar.
Ah, teenage masturbation!  Goodness, that seems so long ago now.  How lucky I am that my SO has put all that well and truly behind me.
The boots are a lot tastier than the airline food.
The female orgasm can be a mysterious – and very painful – thing.
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