red – Contemplating the divine

Taskmistresses

Money discussions can often be the most difficult and painful things a relationship has to cope with to a relationship. I’m grateful to my SO, because she has found a way to ensure we never have to discuss money at all.

I used to have delusions of adequacy, but these days I know my limits.

He might prefer being screamed at in Czech, but I’m afraid Mistress Morrigan Hel and Goddess Sophia speak his language – and would like to hear his appreciation in it. Doesn’t their hair look lovely in the sun? And don’t their boots? And their attitudes?

She enjoys the slapping of course, but waking up next to a loved one with painful bruises on his face and welts all over his body is the true value of the relationship, for her.

These are my principles. If you don’t like them (and you are female) I have others.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.

She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.

Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.

Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.

It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

Malicious minds

Don’t you know I’m caught in a trap?

Any specific plans? Or just an early night… that would probably be best, actually, so you’re all ready in the morning.

But the diet doesn’t have to be healthy all the time, either. She likes to mix and match, so to speak. Femdom’s all about choices: having them, denying them, whatever.

The lovely, wise and occasionally delightfully cross Ella Kross.

Or even a bit longer if she needs it… it’s traditional for a bride to arrive a little late, keeping her anxious groom waiting at the altar.

Wherever she goes, but on all fours and two paces behind, I hope.

It makes my blood boil, seeing the divine Anne being disrespected. To be honest, it makes my blood boil just seeing the divine Anne, so we’re actually all the way into pulmonary embolism territory here.

Unreasonable demands

She’s embarrassed now… but don’t worry, she has coping techniques for that.

Now come on – man up. Remember what you all discussed at the last encounter group? No, no I don’t mean the bit about ironing pleats – about standing up to your wives? Yeah? Right then. Hang on – where are you going? You can’t stand up to her on your knees! Oh for goodness’ sake…

My SO and I have a consensual relationship. I didn’t want to but she insisted.

They’d starve to death, I expect. I mean, more of them would than when the Ladies actually are there, anyway.

This photo is actually a rather sophisticated optical illusion. Many men, seeing it for the first time, don’t notice the slice of pizza, the big red cup, the bottles of water or the coffee maker – even after staring at it for hours. Something to do with how the brain processes images, I understand.

A study in scarlet

I don’t know what word that is and I don’t want to. For some reason, it brings back painful memories.

I’ve often thought its odd how confident dommes often are about what we subs can take or not, given that they’ve usually never tried it on themselves.

Try not to make an ass of yourself.

I can be both. And so much more.

That does sound fun. I hope she doesn’t charge a fee for taking that half of my income off me, though. But if she insists, obviously I won’t argue.

Oh – and in the same theme of the colour red… it took me a while, Furcoat, but I got there eventually.

Nothing to fear but fear itself

An odd quote. If I feared fear, I wouldn’t pay to endure it, now, would I? Anyway, anyone who really thinks there’s nothing to fear but fear itself hasn’t had a tawsing session with Miss Hunter, or been hand-smothered by Mistress Eleise de Lacey, to name just two among many ladies who can strike fear into me and have done so most delightfuly.

Don’t worry – she’s a very accomplished cook and will have a wide range of things for you to kneel on over time. Pasta, pulses, various grains… And when you’re done kneeling on them, she can boil them up to mush, add a few flavourings and voila – your feeding bowl will be full for a week.

Ooh – what a lovely game! I just want to rain a flurry of kisses down on her shoe in a never-ending display of adoration… and as that’s what she wants too, that’s what will happen.

I don’t specifically remember agreeing that. If anything, I try not to think too much about the evening when we ‘discussed’ it, as it brings me out into a cold sweat. But I’m sure she’s right, she usually is. Always, come to think of it.

Time of the month, eh? Always a bit difficult for the man of the house, especially if he’s a due a whipping anyway. As I always seem to be, during her periods, for some weird reason.

The worst of is when they’re all sweaty and they’re grinding and pumping away and one of them looks up to discover she got bored and is watching TV. Still: best not to stop. You know how she is about these things.

Our youngers and betters

I suppose it never hurts to go through things again, just to make sure. Well… I don’t mean it never actually hurts – obviously it does hurt – I just mean…. oh , you know.

The longer it goes on, the longer his pleasureable anticipation, I suppose.

I wonder what she has planned for the evening. For you, that is.

Aww… is there a little furry… hairy, leggy, fangy.. friend in there with you? Or several.

You, by contrast, can easily go quite badly wrong. But you’ll know when you do.

Boss ladies

I understand in most modern social media platforms it’s just one of the standard tickboxes when you sign up. Of course, you can always choose “Don’t like to say” or “It’s complicated!”

A really skilled domme can plant a billiard ball right up a slave’s anus from the far side of the table.

If it’s any consolation, the male warders are all very nice indeed, as long as the inmates are nice to them.

Love’s often not enough.

When they called the next day, she had a glass of wine and a vibrator ready. You know: just to help her cope with the trauma.

Senseful brutality

Well.. someone might mind, actually. But no one who matters.

Goodness, what a large one. As no woman has ever said to me, in my entire life. More seriously, though, I really, really like this caption. If you don’t like this one then you are probably ‘reading’ the wrong femdom blog, because as far as I’m concerned, this is as good as it gets (sorry).

Actually, I stopped complaining to Mum when I realised she was always going to take my sister’s side. And obviously there was no point complaining to Dad – he tried to stick up for me once, and we both got a spanking for his trouble.

Looking? Looking where?

Actually, I really like this one too…

Ladies in red

Men’s libbers are actually firmly opposed to being spanked. Most men are, actually. But they always end up thankful for it.

I once paid a prostitute to have sex with me – booked with a credit card. But when I opened the door to her, she looked me up and down, dug around in her purse, handed me the same amount in cash and walked off. Which could actually be quite handy some time, if I’m ever somewhere with no ATMs.

Never try puppy play alongside an actual dog. They’re better at it. Much the same goes for sex and real men. Don’t even try – you’ll just look foolish. And you wouldn’t want that.

Except that she’s started by using social media to advertise, so her first clients are precisely likely to be your friends. And your close family members.

She’s sneaked a tub of lube into the bottom of your tuck box. You know: to make the first few days a bit easier. She’s kind like that.