Newcomers welcome

Newcomers are particularly welcome to this blog, of course, since ‘readers’ unfamiliar with my style may take a while to notice that I basically just re-hash the same old tropes over and over again. But more importantly, I want to help newcomers to the world of femdom to get over any anxieties they might have, especially before that nerve-wracking first contact with a pro-domme to actually try out all those grubby little fantasies in reality.

So, as a service to such newbies, I have in the past posted several items of advice to a novice sub. That series later also included a few respectful items of advice humbly proferred to any to ladies thinking of embarking on the noble dominatrix profession, too.

I hope that by passing on my expertise to a new generation, they can avoid the mistakes I made and instead make entirely new ones.

So, in that spirit, here is more of the same. Re-hashing tired old tropes, like I said.

Hope you enjoyed that. Any prospective subs actually trying the approaches recommended above will not be missed from the human gene pool, so think of it as evolution in action. Not that many of you were likely ever to be allowed to place your nasty, sticky genes anywhere they might actually lead to a new human being forming anyway. The real advice to a novice sub is to visit that domme and the only real mistake Servitor made was leaving that so late.

In other news, those of you paying very close attention to some minor themes on this blog (and I know some of you do that, to my repeated surprise) might like to note that Kitten has gone viral. Bonus Kitten image below in celebration and homage.

O Fearefull frowning Nemesis

Daughter of Justice, most severe / That art the world’s great Arbitresse / And Queene of causes raigning heere.

Don’t try explaining that it’s too late to do anything about it now. She knows exactly what she intends to do about it, and it’s never too late.
Ironically enough, Pam herself has slaves make the cakes. But I doubt that’ll do him any good.

The wonderful Mistress Sidonia of course, Head Mistress and goddess incarnate at the English Mansion.

What Colin has here is a failure not to communicate. But I’m sure he’ll be given some very direct feedback to help him improve.
She’s got you there.
Speak softly and always carry a massive dildo.

Happy ever after?

No, not a fairy tale post. Just a post themed around that eternal topic of uncertainty when visiting a new domme: the happy ending, if any.

Actually, my very first domme – and I saw no other for about my first three years – never allowed them at all. Then the very next lady I visited pulled on a latex glove about fifteen minutes before the end of the session and surprised me mightily. My current regular domme seems to decide it’s going to happen about… oh, one time in four or so? So it’s a nice surprise if it happens but I have learnt not to count on it. Up to her, entirely and that’s how it should be.

Anyway, happy endings. We subs usually don’t deserve them but then the same is true of the very existence of the dommes we are privileged to visit, isn’t it?

…and of course the all-time classic

Captive audience

Or one that would like to be so.

It just goes to show what I always say: that few marital problems can be resolved satisfactorily by cowering away in terror in a cupboard hoping she doesn’t find you.
Don’t worry: nobody’s expecting you to do anything much. They’ll do all the work, just leave it to them.
Probably just a breath mint. My SO receives monthly deliveries of a particularly effective brand of breath mints, with some long and complicated scientific name, from Myanmar. I’ve been taking one a day since soon after we got married and it’s never done me any harm, unlike many other things in our marriage.

Of course, there’s no need to discuss her expectations about you. Those are minimal, at best.

This is the fabulously beautiful and no doubt all-round fabulously fabulous Lady Perse, well worth visiting if you are in Warsaw or even if you are not. Needless to say (but I am conscious most of my readers are male, so even the blindingly obvious may need pointing out), the caption I have put on her divine image in no way represents her actual session practices, which I am sure are safe, sane, consensual and fabulous.

‘Something’? What kind of something? Why are the ladies in these captions so maddeningly unclear?

Femaleficient

A mirror ought to do it.
Don’t worry, she doesn’t object to having your own taste in music, she just won’t allow you to play any of it.
Obviously. Fortunately they have an excellent pain management programme.
Seems a little unfair, as he was paying Supreme Mistress Katharine three times the usual rate already. The lady doing the talking only does vanilla tricks, not femdom, just in case you were thinking of visiting. Says she just doesn’t have the femdom skills, which on the face of it appears to me not to be true, but who am I to argue either with her assertions or her maths?
Don’t let on you’ve never actually done this before. This could be the beginning of a beautiful holiday friendship – or perhaps a rather disgusting but highly practical one, anyway.

Unlikely stories

Longtime ‘readers’ will know that this blog takes particular care over the realism of the scenes it depicts. Specifically: nothing here is intended to be even remotely realistic; the blog aims for zero plausibility and I’m proud to say it usually comes pretty close.

Over the years, I’ve presented scenes from a totalitarian female supremacist future, I’ve traced the history of femdom back a few hundred years and I have written sweet lesbian love stories (not in itself unrealistic, but set against a backdrop of thrilling scientific breakthroughs, as well as savage torture scenes usually resulting in the violent death of almost every male character) in the Serena and Alice series.

But I’m confident I have never before put up a post that takes our beloved femdom scene quite as far away from what we normally think of as ‘reality’ than this. Be warned.

Written pleadings

 

It’s not really a choice, as she’ll probably find an excuse to do the bottle thing even after posting the photos.  And vice versa.  But he doesn’t know that, because males are very stupid creatures.

 

 

 

He’s lucky to have such an understanding Responsible Female; I hope he’ll have the sense not to push that luck too far.  Female supporters of men’s lib are a bit weird in my opinion, but even
most of them understandably draw the line at disobedience or answering
back.


Mistress has also learnt from experience that the way to get a really smart, polished pair of shoes or boots is not to have someone slobber over them while masturbating. 

 

She doesn’t really need the meter, given the screaming thing, but it’s nice to be sure and anyway, she has some plans to fill his mouth later.

 

 

 

She’s right.  Just remember that and you’ll be fine.

 

And an extra one, just a little bit o’politics.  Just what you’re looking for when you go surfing for femdom porn, right? 

 


Still, inept political commentary incomprehensible to non-Brits notwithstanding, any image containing Morrigan Hel and Goddess Sophia has got to be worth at least a few long, lingering, longing stares, right?

Perilous prose

You have to slap pretty hard to get the ketchup sachet to burst open.  But then you have to slap pretty hard anyway – she insists on it – so don’t worry about that. Worry about other things.


And she’ll make sure you’re penciled in for one of the first slots available in her schedule after her holiday, OK?



 

I once told a domme I couldn’t really cope with public humiliation and she just looked at me strangely and asked how I managed in day to day life, never leaving the house.  I think she must have misunderstood me.


 

 

Don’t worry, her travel insurance will make sure she gets all the money she needs after your tragic and unexplained disappearance.

 

 

 

My SO once had an affair with a lesbian sub and I was over the moon, because I thought finally there’d be another submissive to share the chores.  But apparently lesbian D/S “doesn’t work like that”.  And the attitude to chastity play was a bit different too… a lot different, if I’m honest.

 

When her pet-name for you is ‘maggot’

 … then you know you’re onto a good thing.

 

Make sure you get the right one, this time.

 

 

She’ll have plenty of sex and plenty of money – she prefers to get them from different people, that’s all.  That’s not going to be a problem, is it?

 

 

Sexual pleasure is over-rated anyway, so I have been led to understand.

Princess Neive and Miss Analisa, there, and also here.  But neither working in person any more, I believe, alas.



Oh well.  You can enjoy watching her eat too, I suppose, just like you watch her do the other thing.



I asked a sex worker for a nurse roleplay session and when I got there she threatened to go on strike, harangued me about the state of NHS funding and then fell asleep, exhausted after a 14-hour shift. Exactly as I’d asked for in my pre-session email… what a pro.



True love’s first slap

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.

Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else.  Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her.  I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.

I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers?  You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not?  That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?

Oh.  OK then.

 

You could cavil at the poor quality of the photo, but this is Mistress Ardenne so even a blurry photo is more beautiful than 99.999999999999% of things on the planet.  Long retired, I’m sure, so don’t even ask, OK?

 

 

Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot!
 
 

My SO says the same: apparently it’s ‘easier’ to leave me locked up.  Personally, I’ve never had any real difficulties masturbating (except when my penis is locked in a tube, or I’m in tight bondage or agonising pain, that is) so I don’t really see why that should be but I don’t doubt she’s right.  For one thing ‘doubting she’s right’ is #255 on the list of forbidden activities, just 243 places below masturbation itself.




Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.”




Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together.  Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare.