pet play – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Ladies in red

Men’s libbers are actually firmly opposed to being spanked. Most men are, actually. But they always end up thankful for it.

I once paid a prostitute to have sex with me – booked with a credit card. But when I opened the door to her, she looked me up and down, dug around in her purse, handed me the same amount in cash and walked off. Which could actually be quite handy some time, if I’m ever somewhere with no ATMs.

Never try puppy play alongside an actual dog. They’re better at it. Much the same goes for sex and real men. Don’t even try – you’ll just look foolish. And you wouldn’t want that.

Except that she’s started by using social media to advertise, so her first clients are precisely likely to be your friends. And your close family members.

She’s sneaked a tub of lube into the bottom of your tuck box. You know: to make the first few days a bit easier. She’s kind like that.

Misbehaving

I’m sure he’d like to count the days. Unfortunately, they keep the facility on a random sleep-eat-exercise-sleep cycle lasting anything from four to 48 hours, so he’ll have no idea how much time has passed. Which is just as well, because she’s not actually going to be back in six months: that’s just a little white lie to avoid hurting his feelings.

I had this idea because I’m going diving next week. But don’t worry – I’m not being fed to the sharks! It’s all very safe. My SO and I are going with these two lesbian friends of hers, one of whom is going to be my ‘dive buddy’. It’s her job to check my tank has enough air, as well as to ensure the proper amount of lead weights are securely attached around my belt, wrists, ankles and neck. So, yeah: perfectly safe.

It’s good to be a dog.

The pain from the spikes is all about her, too.

I made a similar point to my SO just the other day – wouldn’t it be better some time if I felt sorry of my own accord, instead of her having to make me feel sorry? But after quite a vigorous discussion, I realised what a bad idea it was.

Subjugatrices

Goodness, no. Once would quite enough – look at that horrible thing! You know, I’ve been resisting my SO’s demands to let Her act out Her castration fantasy for years but She just went on and on about it and I finally said yes. But I was very firm. Once – just once, and then we’re not going to hear anything more about it, OK? So… that’s done.

Dog food looks awfully fatty but actually you can lose weight quite effectively on a diet of nothing else – particularly if you have difficulty keeping it down.

She’s been showing her love for you with various men for a while now, actually. This just makes it official.

She makes a very valid point, there. I think you might have to agree with her. Always.

And right now Mistress would like to get the clients safely locked away, take off that ridiculous and uncomfortable clothing and put her feet up with a mug of hot chocolate for an evening in front of the TV, thank you very much. So in you go.

Impertinence

Well, that doesn’t seem very fair. I mean, does Andrew have to ask my permission when he comes in and puts his big muddy boots up on my nice clean chairs? I think not.

And for you.

Mmm… sissy maid play. Sheer erotic indulgence, every day from 6am right through to bedtime. Hope there’s gruel.

Actually he has a surprise for her. You know those shoes she threw out into the dumpster and thought she’d never see again? Well…

People and things

These things, for example.

Just for once, the linked music video is related.

Loosely, anyway.

A stage magician tried to hypnotise me once, but he failed completely. I am one of those very rare people who just have too much willpower, he told me! I tried to go back again the next night, to see if he wanted another go, but my wife said I had to stay at home and do chores, so that was that.

Yeah. Why not?

Yes Ma’am.

Yes Ma’am. Again.

Actually, I’m not that worried. I was told once by a girl I trust that my penis is microscopic. No way any sniper’s hitting that!

Whip service

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…Oh well, at least you’re still alive, right?

They still call him ‘Fatso’: the name they gave him when he arrived. I think that’s unnecessarily insulting, to be honest.

BDSM can be an excellent way of relieving stress, while also increasing it.

Why does femdom have to be so complicated? Can’t I just have my ‘happy ending’? No? Oh, OK.

There’s lots of animal roleplay – no need to just limit it to ponies and puppies. My SO likes to play ‘annoying bluebottle’ for example. The swatter’s fun, the electric zapper’s edgy but since she started spraying the flyspray into my mouth, I’ll confess I’m finding it harder to get into it.

I wanna

be her dog?

wagwagwag…

He’ll be paying rent to her as well. The monthly rate is a very reasonable “everything”.

Mistress Akella, there, showing how patient dommes need to be at times.

Oh, I don’t suppose Janice would mind. She’s very easygoing. As long as you stay on the leash, you can pretty much do your own thing when she’s not around. It’s that kind of marriage.

In OWK, slaves aren’t judged on whether they fail or succeed. Just on how badly they fail.


She seems nice. Remember, though: it is very unprofessional to get involved romantically with your clients. So don’t even think about it.

Every lady shall be exalted

… and every husband and man shall be laid low.

You have to ask if you want the built-in sliding cucky drawer, though. It costs extra.

Divorce can be painful.

My apologies to all of those submissive men out there who are highly skilled at housework, and don’t just use it as an excuse to flounce around humiliatingly in a little maid’s dress in session. Sorry – I mean, both those submissive men…

Also quite a lot bigger. They can still do SPH play, though. She’s kept his original one in a jar.

Biting’s not the worst of it. Bloody Rufus. No friend of mine.

Hyperaggressive femininity

Sometimes, it’s not the joke but how you tell it. I can always get my SO to laugh in session by telling a long joke, as long as I’m screaming and pleading hysterically for mercy as I try to get the words out.

Sorry about the joke, by the way. Works better with nuns… one of the few things that does.