nurse – Page 9 – Contemplating the divine

For who would bear the whips and scorns?

I once checked on a date-rating site after an evening with a very lovely lady and discovered she’d rated me lower than her vibrator. Which I wouldn’t mind so much, if that was the rating for sex but that was under ‘personality’.

She’s an expert negotiator.

Warning: the value of investment bankers can go down as well as up.

There’s also ‘maidspreading’. That’s when you stand with your legs held firmly apart with a spreader bar. It’s usually a precursor to something rather painful.

You’d think they’d have guessed from the spreader gag.

It gives me a sense of enormous well-being

Know what I mean? Warning: vanilla video after link that has nothing to do with femdom and is thoroughly safe for work. Do not click if that sort of thing offends you.

And they say sex offenders have nothing to contribute to society!

… and don’t even think about the matinee on Saturday…

It’s particularly cheap for fit young men, if they let her do it without any anaesthetic.

When I was a teenager I used to have this dread that girls would be turned off by my very small penis and would refuse to have sex with me. Silly really, now I look back on it. The very first girl I ever went out with explained that penis size is just irrelevant – for someone with a face as ugly as mine and such an tedious personality. So that was a relief.

It’s completely irrational to be scared of spiders. Spiders can’t really hurt you*. Girls, yes: they can hurt you**. Be scared of girls. But not spiders.

* Except in Australia
** Especially in Australia.

Blonde justice

The truth can hurt, sometimes.

They asked Nurse Jenkins to perform the procedure. She’s a pain management specialist, you see. She’s very good at it.

If you do want to discuss it with your father-in-law, you’ll have to wait until he’s finished his corner time.

Well, I hope someone’s consented to this. Otherwise, I find the whole thing a bit unethical.

Mistress Eleise can lead me into temptation any time She likes.

Denagratrix

Thank goodness for modern anaesthetics

Speaking of modern anaesthetics, for those of you into extreme femdom violence, torture and castration, here’s a sweet little move clip I found.

I’m encouraged already, actually.

…and if I do?

You can download an app that’ll translate any length of text into morse code. She discovered that the next day…

The annual performance reviews can be a bit brutal.

The strength of a woman

You know, I’ve forgotten what I was going to ask about now. Often happens. Oh well.

Remarkably, with that sniper rifle she can give herself an orgasm with an man who is anything up to a kilometre away.

Medical opinion is divided on the advisability of gagging castration patients during their operations. On the one hand, there are those who say it’s best to shut the bastards up; but on the other, there are surgeons who get off on the screaming. The debate continues, in the medical journals.

First dates can often be a bit embarassing… just go with it.

Busy busy.

Soft power

Of course, an average can be brought down quite a lot by just one bad review. Especially if that’s from the only date you’ve ever been on.

Mmm…. looks like you just became a premium product! Something to be proud of.

She wasn’t a huge success as a nurse, to be honest, especially when she did a stint learning how to administer pain relief, which turned out just not to be her thing.

Obviously
successfully navigated that tricky moment towards the end of the date,
when she eases her shoes off, settles back and you have to decide
whether it’s appropriate to ask whether you can masturbate while
kneeling in front of her and sniffing her feet.

I expect he’s forgotten all about that time you ate his dogfood too. I mean, that was Mistress’s fault really, but he wasn’t to know that.

The seven stages

Denial
Anger
Indiferent denial, with a warning
Bargaining
Denial with retribution
Desperate pleading
Amused denial

You can get an app for it too. Every day, it doesn’t remind you.

He thought if he told them he was a vicar they’d go easy on him. He was wrong. My friend who’s an investment banker had a similar experience but much, much worse.

Fortunately, the balls don’t feel like the same thing either. No more worrying about that knee! But there are other things to worry about…

I didn’t understand why it had to be so wide, but then I met Richard.

It’s a ridiculous fantasy, of course. You can’t just chop a man in half and then attach his dismembered body to separate halves of a sex doll. Well… you can, obviously, but not so he continues to live. You’d think she’d have realised that after six tries, the silly thing.

Then someone falls in love… and someone’s beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still… best day of my life.

No, it’s not medical malpractice. His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual ‘treatments’ he receives. And they have done.

That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful? Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously. Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it? How can they get away with stuff like that?

It wasn’t me. I never.

Actually, there probably are some other things that would work. She just hasn’t tried them all yet.

I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they’ve got through Immigration?

Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year. So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer? And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.

I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.

Cherishing’s very important. She’s going to insist on lots of that.

It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway. You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right? Especially with handcuffs on. My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time.