Category: male maid

Contemptuous liaisons

 

Looks like only one person in this relationship is making any effort.  That’s not a formula for long-term happiness.


 

 

Why are so many women so imprecise when it comes to numbers?  They say things like “only for a few hours” , “in a few weeks’ time”, “a few dozen, and then maybe the same on your thighs”…  when did ‘few’ start to have such painful connotations?

 

 

 

She’s a perfectionist.  I hope you are, too.

 

 

 

The teddy bear is only a temporary expedient while she buys you a blow-up sex doll.  She’s just trying to choose between the ‘Sven’ and ‘Muscle Man’ models.

 


She makes a compelling argument, you have to admit.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Well-ordered

 

You’ll find her arguments compelling, I guarantee it.

 

 

 

 

 

I know that some subs who are subject to strict speech rules rather resent them, but personally I really can’t complain.

 

 

 

 

That Clause 17(b) is a tricky one, particularly as it is written in an obscure regional dialect of Czech.  But it’s very useful.

 

 

 


And if you want something to take your mind off the pain, try letting yourself be overwhelmed by the frustration of a lifetime in chastity.  See – it’s a kind of virtuous circle.




Or higher.  Whatever.

 

Unforced feminisation

My SO looked a bit worried when I asked her to ‘feminise’ me.  She gently explained that no matter how hard I tried, I’d never make a convincing woman.  Even if I were to try to mimic feminine behaviour such as intelligence, competence, courage and leadership, I simply could not get away with it.  So obviously she was immensely relieved when I explained that all I meant was that I wanted to be dressed in a frilly pink dress and ordered to flounce around with a pout on my excessively made-up face.  I was soon happily across her lap having my naughty little knickered bottom spanked and shrieking like a little girl, so that was all right.

I don’t think I’d want to be a real woman anyway.  Too much responsibility.  And not enough chores.

 

Don’t you just hate it when you’re sent off to play with other sissies?  They can be so self-centred and immature. I’d rather just flounce about in front of Mistress, showing off my frillies.  Perhaps I should try having a tantrum about it.

 

 

 

 

She looks lovely in it.  And you’ll look lovely ironing it, too.


 

 

Actually, quite a lot of things taste a bit shoey to me right now, but that’s because for obvious health reasons I’m wearing the mask she made me most of the time, so it’s if the world were made of stinky socks.  I’m not saying that’s a bad thing…

 

 

 

Don’t worry about looking foolish when you’re doing the little dance.  Most of the passers-by probably won’t know what the moves and actions are supposed to be anyway. I’m sure they’ll find it amusing, though, and that’s the most important thing.

 

 

 

Rather like me, this gentleman makes an unconvincing woman, exhibiting as he does stereotypical male behaviour such as whining, laziness and cowardliness.  Fortunately, Her Maj has ways of dealing with those.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Whatever she likes, whenever she says

 

Honestly, imagining bothering her about a little thing like that.

 

 

Oh well…wouldn’t want to disappoint Suzie, would we? 

 



Obviously, you are allowed to have opinions, even as her husband, as long as they’re the right ones.


…unless she’d rather I made her a nice cup of tea?  No?  Sure?  OK, cattle prod it is, then.



Like most men in a female-led relationship, I learnt about pre-menstrual tension quite early on.  Also post-menstrual tetchiness and during-menstrual extreme violence.



Despotic love

I suppose I can wait to watch the cookery programme – I’ve become quite good at coping with deferred gratification.  Thank goodness it’s only Raoul this time, anyway.  Sometimes she invites all the guys round to watch a big game and I’m rushed off my feet fetching and carrying beers, snacks and condoms.  She must find it quite exhausting too. 

  

 

It’s funny how the simple act of having electrodes attached to your genitals can change your whole perspective on things.

 


I know she’s a busy woman, but I really think she could cane her own husband. And detention is a very special time in any relationship.



She works hard for her money (so he’d better treat her right).



But with dignity.  Always with dignity.

Head under heels

That’s the way I fell in love, many years and almost as many orgasms ago…


It’s important to fight back against the stereotypes.  Wear the t-shirt, use the hashtag, carry the pliers.


Well, it’s more romantic than stealing them from clotheslines.



It’s best not to think about it too much.  Thinking generally isn’t a sissy maid’s strong point anyway.






I’ve never really understood knitwear fetishism, although enforced knitting as an alternative to line-writing has its attractions.



Thank goodness for that. Lots of vanilla escorts wouldn’t have been so in tune with your needs, you know, might have just gone ahead and given you a blow job anyway.  She’s obviously very special.

Sorry about this

Sometimes I do things like this.  It’s a compulsion.  It’s best just to ignore me.


When I was a lad I fantasised
Of
being by a lady with a cane chastised.
I
visited a domme and
I paid my dues,
And I polished up the leather
on her high heeled shoes.
(He polished up the
leather on her high heeled shoes.)
I polished up that leather
so
carefully
That now I am a
sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He polished up that
leather so carefully that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B!)


Ti tum ti tum ti tum ti tum

In
our next encounter, I played the role

Of a schoolboy, under very strict control,

With my tie askew and my homework late

I wrote five hundred times that I
deserved my fate.

(He wrote five hundred times that he
deserved his fate.)
I copied all those lines so obediently,
That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He copied all those lines so obediently
that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B!)


I
turned up each month with my tribute in hand

In a plain paper envelope like contraband

And soon found myself, though not first – by far

Appointed to her stable as a regu-lar

(Appointed to her stable as a regu-lar.)
I was
spanked and pegged so
reg-u-larlee

That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He was spanked and pegged so reg-u-larlee that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress
B!)


In visiting my Mistress for my monthly
task
For a sign of her favour I began to ask
And my joy knew no bounds when, before her throne

I received a leather collar naming me her
own
(He received a leather collar naming him her own.)
That collar was my passage to slavery,
So now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B

(That collar was his passage to slavery so
now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B!)


Quite soon in my journey as a collared
slave

I was fitted with a tube so I don’t misbehave

And I soon experienced a sharp decrease

In the frequency with which I could achieve release.

(The frequency with which he could
achieve release.)

I spent so much time in chastity

That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He spent so much time in chastity,
that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B).


I retired from my job, free at last from
stress

And I bought myself an apron and a frilly
dress

For my plans for retirement had been long
laid

To attempt domestic service as a sissy maid!

(To attempt domestic service as a sissy maid)

I teetered on my heels so precariously

That now I am a sissy maid to Mistress B.

(He teetered on his heels so
precariously, that now he is a sissy maid to Mistress B).


So….

If you dream of a lifetime spent in unpaid work,
With
the cane awaiting when you dare to shirk

If your heart leaps high at the thought of a mop

And a life down scrubbing on your knees,
non-stop.

(And a life down scrubbing on your knees,
non-stop.)
Spend
all of your money on your session fee
And you all may be sissy
maids to Mistress B.

(Spend all of your money on a session
fee and you all may be sissy maids to Mistress B!)





Pictures are from the rather lovely cleversissy.tumblr.com, who surely is.


The Garden of Earthly Delights

Obviously, anyone’s bound to feel a bit nervous before having a microchip inserted into their brains, but just ask any man who’s had it done – you’ll hear nothing but gratitude.
They’re quite smart, those ‘rate my date’ sites.  I tried sneakily entering a positive review about myself and I was automatically redirected to ratemywank.com. Where I built up quite a profile, actually, until my SO stopped all that nonsense.
One positive thing is that he has discovered he and his father-in-law have a lot in common, so that’s nice.

Mmm… edgy.  Let’s hope she doesn’t get too drunk this time.

Despite the general female-led tendency of this blog, I want to make clear that I think it is OK to have disagreements between husband and wife in marriage.   I disagreed with my SO once, very early on in our life together, and although it was painful – very painful, actually – I think we both found it to be a learning experience that made our marriage stronger.

Written submissions



There’s actually a funny story to how I came by that nickname.  Just ask anyone.







Lots of men find it hard to navigate the unwriten rules of modern office etiquette, which is why it can be so useful to receive feedback that is frank, immediate and eye-wateringly painful when the inevitable occasional slip-ups occur.

Another word Auntie Kate can teach you is ‘sadist’ but that’s for another day.
For the grand finale they invite members of the audience to step up and join them.

Myself, I’m not too choosy about clothing – I just wear whatever happens to be locked onto me that morning, you know?
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