lingerie – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Shameful display!

20 minutes? Women, eh? I can get there in 20 seconds, usually before I’ve even got my trousers off.

,,,and footboys are sworn to the code of secrecy. Also, rarely if ever allowed to go out or communicate with anyone except Mistress.

They proved it scientifically, using double-blind tests. 125 blindfolded men were slapped across the face repeatedly, over a period of three years (while others received equivalent amounts of pain in other ways, as a control). On average, memory retention increased by 2.3%, on a statistically significant basis. The effect wasn’t uniform, though. Some subjects benefitted a lot, but fully 17% of the men receiving the slapping treatment were unable to remember anything at all from their lives before the programme started. There’s obviously a lot still to learn, but the Institute just received a €8 million grant, so research continues.

He likes her to be pristine for when he comes on her breasts.


Just what I always say. It’s all very well to say that men and women should be equal in status and respect, but naughty bottoms don’t spank themselves, do they, so there has to be some differentiation of roles in marriage. That’s a nice-looking corner, just behind them, by the way, don’t you think? I expect they make good use of that.

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money. Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training. I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes. Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.

The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather. Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I? OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.

No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…

Just a little prick…

… oh, I’m not even going to go there. It’s a very old joke and not very funny.

Let’s have some brand new and not very funny captions instead.

Dommes don’t care about these things, but we subs do. The taste is quite different, for one thing.

It’s good to experiment a bit.

I’m one of her regular clients. First Tuesday of every month, 9.35 to 9.38. It gives meaning to my otherwise pointless existence.

Men do seem to be making some pretty strange democratic choices just now, you’ve got to admit.

um…

Not just the Pink Panther scene

Before we start, here’s a bit of found femdom that I haven’t seen anywhere else. You remember Valerie Leon, the lady from the Pink Panther movie (yes you do, it was probably one of your formative sexual experiences, right? Pervert.)

That’s not the found femdom, everyone knows about that. (Oh yes you do! Stop lying.).

Anyway, an advertising agency in the 1970s obviously thought that the male submissive market was an underexploited market for aftershave so… this. And this. Maybe others, I don’t know.

I imagine it was rather effective. Thinking about the typical British aftershave from the 70s and 80s, I think it’s a fair bet that if you splashed it on liberally before visiting a domme, she’d give you a pretty memorable session. Possibly using a bullwhip from the maximum distance.

Thought you’d like to know.

On we go…

Oh no, not again. Honestly, it’s like that story’s following me around.

Well, at least two of them like pain a lot. If he really insists, perhaps they could hold a vote.

Yes, you don’t want to cause ofence to religious people. This blog certanly never does that, except perhaps to the poor evangelical guy who had a Christian blog of the same name… sorry about that, mate.

I hate it when the legs get caught between my teeth. Don’t you hate that?

hmm? wha?

Riddle of the minx

Don’t you? Just sign you heartless bastard – look how you’re upsetting her!

Actually, there are surprisingly few blogs catering for those with a mushroom fetish. And this one probably won’t again, so enjoy it while you can. Deviants.

Mistress Asian, like it says on the picture. Welcome to the blog, Ma’am!

Really experienced dommes understand our desires so well. And don’t care.

This is of course the lovely and talented Princess Kali!

Don’t worry, it doesn’t go all the way down. Everything below 4 inches is just in the same category. Now what was it they
called it… er…?

Ermmm…hang on, I think I’ve got a witty answer to that, so I can pretend the question does not make me uncomfortable.

Weekly allowance

Here you go. Actually, it’s usually twice a week. But don’t tell her or we might not be allowed.
OK?

They are really very lovely blue shoes. I hope they’re cruelty-free.

Just try to enjoy the view.

Hmmm – I wonder who that’s going to be?

Low self-esteem can be greatly under-rated in some situations, actually.

Do you have to bother her with this sort of thing all the time?

Generic Contemplating the Divine post

… with comment immediately after the headline, often referring to unrelated music videos.

Occasional attempt to attract attention from search engines, by spamming words like mistress, femdom, dominatrix and so on. Text in Georgia Medium.

Then some reference to the captioned photos that follow:

Alt label embedded in photo to attract search engines

Additional caption providing comment on or extension of caption theme.

Additional caption providing comment on or extension of caption theme. Quite often, this will contaibn a typo.

Additional caption providing comment on or extension of caption theme.

Short side-comment identifying a known pro-domme and encouraging readers to visit her web site.

Additional caption providing comment on or extension of caption theme.

Normally, the additional caption to a picture of Anne will just consist of some inarticulate cry of adoration.

Occasional additional message to ‘readers’, from Servitor. (NB The word ‘readers’ will often be placed in inverted commas, to imply they are not really reading but just looking at the pictures and masturbating. Unlike many blogs, this one often contemptuously insults its visitors, because it is assumed they share Servitor’s desire for humiliation.)

Just looking

What? Oh God,
no. You don’t have to do anything like that. He can’t cope with real women.

We just have to stand here wearing these
for half an hour while he watches. Then we go and get changed and leave him the
underwear. God knows what the little
pervert does with it – puts it on or wanks into it or something. Easiest money you’ll ever make.

No, don’t worry about that.
He gets off on humiliation. You
can say what you like.

Can’t we, pervert?

That’s right.

By the way, pervert, after this, we’ve got an appointment with a real
man. He wants to fuck both of us all
night, and we’re charging him less than a tenth of what you’re paying for half
an hour!

Isn’t that funny?

Hmm? No, he never speaks. Just sits there and watches. Kind of creepy, isn’t it? Still, probably better that he does this than going off to watch girls in the park, or something.

How are we doing for time? This is the first time I’ve had someone with me. It’s good to have someone to talk to, instead of just me and the creep. He got very excited when I said I was bringing a friend – didn’t you, pervert? Asked if we could kiss, and maybe cuddle a bit.

And what did I say to that, pervert? Do you remember? Oh but you don’t say anything, do you? You just sit there, drinking in the humiliation. Well, I’ll tell you again. I told you to fuck off, didn’t I? There’s no way you’re going to see us doing any lesbian stuff. Not for you to get off to, anyway. Actually, we really are lovers, in real life. I’ll probably kiss her the moment we leave your apartment. And then we’ll probably fuck each other in the threesome. But you wouldn’t want to see us fucking anyway, pervert. That’s real sex you see, between two real women. It’s not like those pictures of straight girls gently stroking each other in pristine underwear, wearing lots of make-up and glancing back at the camera. That’s just porn for perverts. The real thing would scare the shit out of you. Probably leave you impotent for days… if you’re not already.

In fact, fuck it, you don’t deserve the full half hour. We’re leaving early. Come on – let’s go and get changed. He’ll just have to sniff extra hard.

Oh – and pervert? Next time you book us? You’re only getting fifteen minutes. Same price. And we’ll decide what time to arrive – you can just wait for us all evening, if we’re running late.

Now you can call us a limo.