Category: lesbians

Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.



Mock away.




If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.


 

They know all the tricks.  Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done?  Right?  Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.

 

 

 

Yup.  I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score!  She looked suitably impressed.

 


 

Embarassingly accurate

I wonder if she’s jealous that she never gets to do the ironing any more?

 

 

 

The girls could probably handle more than ten reasons, but at that point the boys would run out of fingers so it’s probably best not to go there.

 

 

 

Don’t worry, he won’t be there all night.  She’s got a pillory in the bedroom too.  In fact, it’s the same model so he can just stagger there still wearing the cross-piece and it slots right in.


I was too worried about ending up with some embarrassing word tattooed on me in Chinese or Japanese so my SO kindly agreed to do it in English instead – just as well, as it turns out ‘wanker’ doesn’t translate directly.

 

 

 

You could try licking the tears back up.

 

 

 

Terror the human form divine

A family friend was branded by a Canadian domme.  He kicked up a bit of a fuss when she started on the French translation, but ‘la loi c’est la loi’, I guess. 

 

 

He’s sulky because when they have guests around he’s usually allowed to stay up.  But after she had to deal with a tantrum at their last dinner party, she’s decided not to risk it.

 

 

 

 

Don’t forget to look super-relaxed.




A few hours spent torturing a male doesn’t make a lesbian relationship any less vanilla, any more than cuddling together in front of the TV with a box of chocolates makes them choco-fetishists. 


 

 

I’m sure you don’t mind – you married her for her personality, not her looks, right?  And she certainly has a very strong personality.

 

 

 

 

Tearful conversations

Anybody else want to negotiate?

 

 

 

It’s recreational for her, anyway – although there’s a serious element to it too. 

 

 

 

I wonder what the OWK Ladies would have done, had the wall not come down in 1989 and no Velvet Revolution occurred?  Oh, they’re so talented I am sure they have found some kind of niche within the totalitarian system where their skills could be useful, but it would have been very different.



Just try to think unsexy thoughts while they do it.  Reading this blog should give you some ideas.



Once again, I do have a bit of a gripe here.  I mean, sometimes it’s “I want the truth and I’m going to keep on increasing the voltage until I get it’ and next it’s ‘Keep your nasty little opinions to yourself.’  It just doesn’t always seem entirely fair, is all I’m saying, but I suppose it’s best not to complain.

 

Romantic disdain

 

Women… sometimes they want you to scream hysterically, cry and beg for mercy, sometimes it’s just ‘annoying’.  My SO gave me 24 hard strokes with the cane yesterday and when I started shrieking and pleading frantically (on or maybe just before stroke number two, if I recall correctly) she told me she was ‘just not in the mood’.  I mean, at that point I was committed, you know?  It’s a physical thing for us guys… can’t just switch it off.

 

 

 

The frightening – truly terrifying – thing about assisting with any kind of competitive sport in OWK is that one of the Ladies has to lose.  They often don’t take it with good grace, you know.

 

 

Needless to say, inflicting this sort of public BDSM play on passing strangers is not OK.  And even worse when it’s in front of members of your family, as here.

 

 

The customer is always right.


 

 

The gimp hoods are going on in the later, private ceremony.  When you and flappy-ears take your real vows.

 

 

Girls just wanna have fun

… but in many countries there are still some silly legal restrictions on how they do so.  Not on this blog.


I think they’re just not taking this lifesaving course seriously enough.



How does she know?



OWK has strict rules about that.  Strict rules about a lot of things, come to think of it – I mean, that’s kind of the point of the place.


She’s thought about it a lot.  Often after a luxurious bath, with soft music playing and a glass of wine to hand.



‘Cowering’ is an underrated form of sex play, I reckon.  I do a lot of it.



Smiles and tribulations

 

They say the best gift is a memorable experience.

 

 

 

Kind of her to help out.  You don’t often see that kind of neighbourliness these days, sadly.


 

 

 

 

Don’t worry – you’ll go quiet again long before they want to go to sleep.

 

 

 

As my SO likes to say – what could be more humiliating than being you, anyway?

 

Not forgetting ‘cock-sukking hor’ bit he added afterwards. Do you suppose all the words Raoul can spell correctly in English are synonyms for ‘penis’?  Honestly, I don’t see what she sees in him.


 

Painful untruths

 

I’d offer to get rid of it myself but someone seems accidentally to have secured my wrists to the sides of the bed, here.  I’ll have to have a word about that.


 

 

She’ll get the hang of it.

 

 


One of the riskier fetishes is ‘very pissed-off dominatrix’.




The depressing thing is, as it’s a vanilla porn movie. your being beaten up isn’t even really central to the main action.  Try femdom: at least there, the beatings you receive are part of the sexy bit rather than filler.

 

I’ll just have another nonesome, then.  Maybe two.



Loving tyranny

But if we’re going to have a talk then surely I shouldn’t be wearing a gag?  I don’t think she’s thought this through.


 

After the war, those that survived the mission never spoke about what they went through.  They did their duty, that’s all anyone needs to know.

 

 

 

My SO is almost like a human lie detector. When I know I’ve done something wrong and she questions me about it, my heart starts racing and I go into a cold sweat.

 


My SO loves acting out teasing and denial fantasies.  Admittedly, we’ve only tried it once but it’s going very, very well.


 

It’s her book club choice, so the house’ll be full of her friends eager to discuss it, at the weekend.  Better get the drinks and nibbles in.


It’s alarming how charming she feels

She’s a perfectionist – and you’re a long way from perfect.  Still, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, as they say.

 

 

 

Obviously it’s going to be a bit tense for you, waiting to learn the outcome.  You’ll be able to hear them at it, in the next room, so if you hear her have an orgasm, you’ll know she – what’s that?  You don’t know what your wife’s orgasm sounds like?  Oh.  OK.  Well, best of luck anyway.

 

 

 

He used to practice a hands-on management style, but I expect those days are over now.

 

 

 

What’s the hockey stick got to do with it? Honestly, don’t they teach them how to speak properly in schools these days?

 

There was something actually but… erm… oh, nothing important.  It can wait.