Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.



Mock away.




If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.


 

They know all the tricks.  Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done?  Right?  Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.

 

 

 

Yup.  I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score!  She looked suitably impressed.

 


 

Sexually impermissive

She is technically a sex worker but then what you are doing is not technically sex, so I think it’s really up to her.


 

 

You could try giving her just a little trouble.  Just to test that wrist action. 

 

 

 

Yeah, it’s not a sexual thing for him.  Or for you, as you’ll discover.

 

 

 

I had a very sheltered upbringing – so much so that I was still a virgin when my second wife divorced me.

 

Obviously.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Unethical statements

Both, probably.

  

 

She’ll have to break me first…. eeek!

 

 

 

Yes, doing the little dance routine should definitely help with the feeling of humiliation.

 

 

 

I’m never sure whether I prefer sand or seaweed for my punishment meals when we’re at the beach.  Not that I actually get to choose, of course.

 

No harm done.  Sissy didn’t need those knees.

 

 

 

 

Embarassingly accurate

I wonder if she’s jealous that she never gets to do the ironing any more?

 

 

 

The girls could probably handle more than ten reasons, but at that point the boys would run out of fingers so it’s probably best not to go there.

 

 

 

Don’t worry, he won’t be there all night.  She’s got a pillory in the bedroom too.  In fact, it’s the same model so he can just stagger there still wearing the cross-piece and it slots right in.


I was too worried about ending up with some embarrassing word tattooed on me in Chinese or Japanese so my SO kindly agreed to do it in English instead – just as well, as it turns out ‘wanker’ doesn’t translate directly.

 

 

 

You could try licking the tears back up.

 

 

 

Hot and unbothered

People talk a lot about objectification, but really there’s nothing wrong with getting off on the sight of a lovely pair of eyes going all red and tearful as the soap gets rubbed in.


 

 

If it’s hurting it’s working.

 

 

 

Shhh!



‘Ignoring it’ is something that happens a lot so maybe sterner measures are needed.


She’ll be having enough orgasms for both of you – it’s her generous nature.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Terror the human form divine

A family friend was branded by a Canadian domme.  He kicked up a bit of a fuss when she started on the French translation, but ‘la loi c’est la loi’, I guess. 

 

 

He’s sulky because when they have guests around he’s usually allowed to stay up.  But after she had to deal with a tantrum at their last dinner party, she’s decided not to risk it.

 

 

 

 

Don’t forget to look super-relaxed.




A few hours spent torturing a male doesn’t make a lesbian relationship any less vanilla, any more than cuddling together in front of the TV with a box of chocolates makes them choco-fetishists. 


 

 

I’m sure you don’t mind – you married her for her personality, not her looks, right?  And she certainly has a very strong personality.

 

 

 

 

Strictly enforced whims

C’mon, give it a chance.  She wore the red dress for you, after all.

 

 

 

Don’t get the wrong idea: they take bullying very seriously.  All the girls get three bullying classes every week (as do the boys and the male teachers, albeit in a different way), and most of them are in the after-school club too.  They’re regional champions.


 

 

Actually, I’d have been able to tell Kurt was here even it wasn’t for the loud grunting noises – who else leaves a bag of dirty laundry waiting for me in the hall? One day, he’s going to go too far and he and I are going to have to have words.  But not today: he’s a bit busy and that dinner won’t make itself.

 




Oh well, so much for that day out.

 

 

This could turn into a vicious spiral.

 

 


 

Shame game

Fine, but I’m not putting his condom on for him this time.  I have my pride.

 

 

Don’t worry – the guys might think you look silly at first, but I’m sure they’ll be impressed when you go into your dance routine.

 

 

 

 

For a while my orgasm day was 29 February, but ‘we’ decided to stop all that, as it was getting a bit repetitive and predictable.

 

 

 

Women and knots, eh?  Bless ’em.

Which is a bit unfair if you have a fetish for being humiliatingly searched by ladies in positions of authority.  Oh well, at least she’s not wearing her uniform, so there’s a chance.


 

 

 

It started with a slap

 

Damn.  Maybe she gets more practice than you do… but then life doesn’t always have to be fair.

 

 

 

Bad in a good way, I hope.  And good in a bad one.

 

 

 

 

 

I think it’s great when wives respect their husbands enough to want to talk things through and hear their opinions, before taking important decisions.

 

 

They say being able to make women laugh is a great gift.




That’s another admirable characteristic in a partner: not being afraid to tackle the really painful stuff in the relationship.



 

 

Romantic disdain

 

Women… sometimes they want you to scream hysterically, cry and beg for mercy, sometimes it’s just ‘annoying’.  My SO gave me 24 hard strokes with the cane yesterday and when I started shrieking and pleading frantically (on or maybe just before stroke number two, if I recall correctly) she told me she was ‘just not in the mood’.  I mean, at that point I was committed, you know?  It’s a physical thing for us guys… can’t just switch it off.

 

 

 

The frightening – truly terrifying – thing about assisting with any kind of competitive sport in OWK is that one of the Ladies has to lose.  They often don’t take it with good grace, you know.

 

 

Needless to say, inflicting this sort of public BDSM play on passing strangers is not OK.  And even worse when it’s in front of members of your family, as here.

 

 

The customer is always right.


 

 

The gimp hoods are going on in the later, private ceremony.  When you and flappy-ears take your real vows.