housework – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Never say never again

Please? Please don’t say that. I’ll be good, I promise. I –

Its ridiculous really. If she wants a curvy cock, what does she think this is, neatly tucked away in the tube around my scrotum? Women, eh?

He’ll be thanking her particularly fulsomely.*

Maybe I could have sex in the fields? When the weather’s a bit warmer, obviously.

I wonder what the question was… Honestly, who writes these things? Why be so obscure?

And new things about bears. I’ve heard they shit in the… anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a very interesting time.

* ‘Fulsome’ is a word often mis-used to mean ‘complete’ or ‘enthusiastic’ when in fact it means ‘excessively flattering or insincerely earnest’. I once emailed a domme I was visiting, expresing my ‘fulsome’ thanks for my treatment in our last session, to be greeted next time by a Mistress holding a dictionary and a cane.

Girls don’t make passes

… at boys with slapped arses.

I had to post this, because it’s something I have personally experienced and I think it is precisely the sort of abusive behaviour that comes from negative stereotyping of male submissives. What – just because I’m sexually submissive, some random stranger expected me to give her money, to go shopping with her, pay for everything, carry the stuff home, wash her car, cook and serve a meal for her and her boyfriend and then fuck off? If I hadn’t had her socks stuffed in my mouth the whole time, I’d have told her a thing or two about mutual respect in BDSM!

She’s still technically employed as a housemaid, but on a substantially higher pay scale.

Nor would I, willingly.

Character development is important in snip-lit. Women want depth and emotional complexity in the characters they read about. They don’t just want to read accounts of guys screaming in pain and terror as the cheesewire tightens… they want to know something of the inner pain they’re experiencing too.

Even an ordinary hotel room will normally have coat-hangers, kettles, maybe even a sewing set with needles. Oh – and if there isn’t a steam iron, you can send for one. You can have lots of fun in even the most vanilla environments.

The lovely ~~Lucy~~ Mistress Sidonia, there, of course.

Our youngers and betters

I suppose it never hurts to go through things again, just to make sure. Well… I don’t mean it never actually hurts – obviously it does hurt – I just mean…. oh , you know.

The longer it goes on, the longer his pleasureable anticipation, I suppose.

I wonder what she has planned for the evening. For you, that is.

Aww… is there a little furry… hairy, leggy, fangy.. friend in there with you? Or several.

You, by contrast, can easily go quite badly wrong. But you’ll know when you do.

Household rulers

I’m normally done in 15 seconds anyway, actually.

Some evenings she likes just to chain him to the cold cellar floor, come upstairs, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and a box of tisues and settle down to a good rom-com on TV.

As long as the first ring goes on OK, erections shouldn’t be a problem.

That is the deal. I have yet to discover when, if ever, is ‘off shift’.

I seem to spend my whole life charging devices – if it’s not the shock collar, it’s the phone, and all her vibrators need constantly to be fully charged too… modern world, I suppose.

Service orientation

My SO’s always had the same rule. Sulky face = semen face. Simple, no argument.

Or breakfast, if you’re not hungry enough by tonight.

I’d end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me. It’s important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy.

Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business.

My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children. When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too.

Hurtful thoughts

I think writing lines is a ridiculous and pointless, tedious activity and there are few things I hate doing more than writing lines for hours at her command. I told her that just the other day. 500 times, in fact.

I did an interview once. Check it out if you want to find out about the real Servitor, behind the leather mask. Don’t read it if the thought of knowing the real Servitor makes you nauseous.

Ooh – looks like there might be a consciousness-raising session coming on!

There wasn’t much to begin with.

I often have ‘plenty to complain about’. Regretably, I’m not allowed so it all goes to waste.

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things

… and it’s worth it.

They still holiday in the same place, and go down to the lake to the pier and occasionally she pushes him in for old times’ sake. It’s not always at the same time of year but it still has the same magic. Last February the ice was so thick it didn’t break when he fell on it – so much for global warming, huh?

Some men find it annoying and restrictive having to wear a shock collar, but really – it’s ten minutes sitting plugged in by the wall most days… maybe 15 minutes at most after a lot of use? Then you’re fully charged and can get on with your life in whatever way takes her fancy. It just takes a little planning that’s all.

Many men get excited at the thought of watching passionate lesbian sex, but believe me after a few years you kinda start to feel a bit jealous? Silly, I know…

Apparently
she’s having the schoolroom fitted out already. If she’s not even
pregnant yet, I have to say that seems a little premature.

As I’ve always said: there’s no job a woman can do that a man can’t do too. Just more slowly, not as well and with someone of a superior gender in charge to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up. Which, admittedly, doesn’t work too well when flying a plane. But Billy can have his dreams – then he’ll grow up, meet a nice girl who’ll sweep him off his feet and he’ll settle down as a happy househusband, I expect.

Heavenly correction

He’s actually not really into BDSM. Poor guy… probably hating every moment. Still, that’s a brave little smile.

Come on – what could possibly go wrong? Apart from that faulty power surge protector and I’m pretty sure that’s working properly now.

She’s really sweet once you get to know her.

There’s nothing quite so empowering for a domme as going round cleaning just after a sub has flounced around for an hour “cleaning”.

I tried switching once. After about five minutes the female submissive started shouting at me for being so bad at it and I ended up apologising and having to write out “I am the most feeble, unexciting excuse for a Master ever” 500 times. But then, when you think about it, she didn’t do that well herself, did she?

Slap me on the patio

I’ll take it now.

There must be lots of things you can do to take your mind off sex. Do some laundry maybe… or watch TV. The women’s tennis final is on, I understand. That should be exciting. Or beach volleyball. Anyway, it’s only for a few weeks, right?

My SO can be quite hard to please. I found it a bit dispiriting at first but then I learned about this technique for lowering the expectations you set yourself? So now I just aim for ‘Not totally furious with me’ and I hit that at least two days out of three, so that’s pretty good.

Unlike some human women, though, they won’t insist on going again while you’re still completely drained from the last time.

I took a personality test once. Apparently I don’t have one.

Don’t worry, she’s obviously not going to drain you to an empty husk all in one go. Look at that figure – she probably limits herself to a couple of pints of blood a day. You might even last a week.