Category: housework

Despotic love

I suppose I can wait to watch the cookery programme – I’ve become quite good at coping with deferred gratification.  Thank goodness it’s only Raoul this time, anyway.  Sometimes she invites all the guys round to watch a big game and I’m rushed off my feet fetching and carrying beers, snacks and condoms.  She must find it quite exhausting too. 

  

 

It’s funny how the simple act of having electrodes attached to your genitals can change your whole perspective on things.

 


I know she’s a busy woman, but I really think she could cane her own husband. And detention is a very special time in any relationship.



She works hard for her money (so he’d better treat her right).



But with dignity.  Always with dignity.

Clean sweep

A few weeks ago, I published ‘Advice to a novice domme‘ in which, among many other wise and practical ideas, I humbly suggested that dommes should not “assign actual housework tasks to ‘sissy maids’ because they’ll fuck them up and might actually damage your stuff.  All they want to do is mince around with a feather duster and then get spanked, anyway”.


It occurs to me that several sissy maids might be offended, hurt and humiliated by this suggestion.  That’s absolutely fine, of course, no one cares about a few sulky sissies. I’m sure your mistress can wipe that frown off your face, with a few well-aimed slaps from her palm.  And for those who have a humiliation kink, perhaps you should even send me some session fees as compensation, hmm sissy?


But if there are still any sissies out there stamping their little feet, balling their fists together and having squeaky tantrums, here is some actual proof (all images certified collected at random from the Internet, so I think we can agree their accuracy is unquestionable) that you’re all completely useless. 

Proud to present: cleaning sissies, on the job






A little dishwashing mop, sissy? For that task?  Only… I don’t see any dishes there, do you?  Oh – and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mop quite so pristine…. I’d have thought that if you’ve been working hard using it, it would have been a little discoloured by now? That lady behind you looks quite cross, doesn’t she? But then maybe that’s what you’re hoping for.
Good idea sissy.  Nothing worse than a dusty TV-cabinet.  Let’s fluff that dust up so it settles somewhere else.
Dusting the floor, sissy?  OK, well, whatever.

Not a shoe brush.  And you’re out of uniform, sissy, you bad girl.

Also not a shoe brush. So not a shoe brush.  What is that thing?  Also, sissy, the technique seems to involve your domme standing on one (high-heeled) foot, holding her other foot off the ground, while you flick at the shoe with… with that.  She’s going to be almost as uncomfortable as you are.  Well: until she decides to make you more uncomfortable still, I suppose.

Uh-huh. Might take quite a while to get the whole house done.  Still… I expect you’re paying by the hour, so that’s not her problem.


I don’t even want to think about what’s going on here, but I suspect it’s not conducive to really effective cleaning.
That’s right, sissy.  Mistress is going to be very pleased with you when she looks out through the sparkly clean, erm… lower half of each of her ground floor windows. Dommes never use the top halves of windows; it’s a well-known fact.


 

What is it with sissy maids and feather dusters?



So… let me make sure I understand.  You’ve got the brush from a dustpan and brush set and you’re placing a few bristles from it against the floor?  Right.  And this is intended to accomplish what, exactly? I mean in cleaning terms, rather than sexual gratification, obviously.


Oh good: another feather duster.  And… what are you planning to clean with that, sissy?  The floor?  That mat?  I don’t think so.  Not ‘cleaning’ cleaning.

…and just for avoidance of doubt: if actually instructed to use an inappropriate cleaning implement, then you’d better bend your head down and get on it it, hadn’t you, hmm?  That pert little mouth is for scouring and sponging the kitchen floor, not for answering back, girl!  And don’t you forget it.



Now: for any sissy maid still offended…  Just stop crying, girl, you’re just smudging your make-up and making yourself look even more ridiculous than usual, OK?  Don’t worry: no one’s going to take your feather duster away.  Or your frillies.  Goodness: what a fuss!

Heaven-sent

… and very nice too*




All the ways I could be a better husband?  Wow.  I think I’m going to need two days locked in the stocks, at least.



What a lot of fuss, about a routine operation.  You’d think I was the first person whose tonsils she’d removed.  I… hang on… didn’t I have my tonsils out when I was a teenager? 
Oh, don’t worry: I’ll keep looking. I might cry a little, if that’s OK.

She insists on her tea being just the way she likes it. Also the ironing, bed corners, washing up, bookshelves, underwear drawer, bath, breakfast, ornaments, cushions, carpets, gin & tonic, shoes, lawn, floor tiles, nail polish, ….
The splendidly-named Miss Hunter, on whose wall I would love to end up as a trophy.







Many dommes find the things we submissives do disgusting.  That’s why they so enjoy hitting us.





* but if anyone happens to be able to locate the scene in the British sitcom Game On (rather a lovely ‘situation’: sad male failures share flat with goddess) in which Samantha Janus rushes around putting her make-up on to this song, I’d be most grateful.

Never say never again

Please?  Please don’t say that. I’ll be good, I promise.  I – 




Its ridiculous really. If she wants a curvy cock, what does she think this is, neatly tucked away in the tube around my scrotum?  Women, eh?

He’ll be thanking her particularly fulsomely.*

Maybe I could have sex in the fields?  When the weather’s a bit warmer, obviously.

I wonder what the question was… Honestly, who writes these things? Why be so obscure?

And new things about bears. I’ve heard they shit in the… anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a very interesting time.





* ‘Fulsome’ is a word often mis-used to mean ‘complete’ or ‘enthusiastic’ when in fact it means ‘excessively flattering or insincerely earnest’.  I once emailed a domme I was visiting, expresing my ‘fulsome’ thanks for my treatment in our last session, to be greeted next time by a Mistress holding a dictionary and a cane.

Girls don’t make passes

… at boys with slapped arses.




I had to post this, because it’s something I have personally experienced and I think it is precisely the sort of abusive behaviour that comes from negative stereotyping of male submissives.  What – just because I’m sexually submissive, some random stranger expected me to give her money, to go shopping with her, pay for everything, carry the stuff home, wash her car, cook and serve a meal for her and her boyfriend and then fuck off? If I hadn’t had her socks stuffed in my mouth the whole time, I’d have told her a thing or two about mutual respect in BDSM!











She’s still technically employed as a housemaid, but on a substantially higher pay scale.







Nor would I, willingly.









Character development is important in snip-lit.  Women want depth and emotional complexity in the characters they read about.  They don’t just want to read accounts of guys screaming in pain and terror as the cheesewire tightens… they want to know something of the inner pain they’re experiencing too.









Even an ordinary hotel room will normally have coat-hangers, kettles, maybe even a sewing set with needles.  Oh – and if there isn’t a steam iron, you can send for one.  You can have lots of fun in even the most vanilla environments.
The lovely Lucy Mistress Sidonia,  there, of course.

Our youngers and betters

I suppose it never hurts to go through things again, just to make sure.  Well… I don’t mean it never actually hurts – obviously it does hurt – I just mean…. oh , you know.




The longer it goes on, the longer his pleasureable anticipation, I suppose.
I wonder what she has planned for the evening.  For you, that is.
Aww… is there a little furry… hairy, leggy, fangy.. friend in there with you? Or several.
You, by contrast, can easily go quite badly wrong.  But you’ll know when you do.


Household rulers




I’m normally done in 15 seconds anyway, actually.

Some evenings she likes just to chain him to the cold cellar floor, come upstairs, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and a box of tisues and settle down to a good rom-com on TV.

As long as the first ring goes on OK, erections shouldn’t be a problem.

That is the deal.  I have yet to discover when, if ever, is ‘off shift’.
I seem to spend my whole life charging devices – if it’s not the shock collar, it’s the phone, and all her vibrators need constantly to be fully charged too… modern world, I suppose.


Service orientation



My SO’s always had the same rule.  Sulky face = semen face.  Simple, no argument.


Or breakfast, if you’re not hungry enough by tonight.
I’d end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me.  It’s important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy.

Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business.

My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children.  When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too.


Hurtful thoughts

I think writing lines is a ridiculous and pointless, tedious activity and there are few things I hate doing more than writing lines for hours at her command.  I told her that just the other day.  500 times, in fact.

I did an interview once. Check it out if you want to find out about the real Servitor, behind the leather mask.  Don’t read it if the thought of knowing the real Servitor makes you nauseous.
Ooh – looks like there might be a consciousness-raising session coming on!

There wasn’t much to begin with.
I often have ‘plenty to complain about’.  Regretably, I’m not allowed so it all goes to waste.


You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things

… and it’s worth it.

They still holiday in the same place, and go down to the lake to the pier and occasionally she pushes him in for old times’ sake.  It’s not always at the same time of year but it still has the same magic.  Last February the ice was so thick it didn’t break when he fell on it – so much for global warming, huh?


Some men find it annoying and restrictive having to wear a shock collar, but really – it’s ten minutes sitting plugged in by the wall most days… maybe 15 minutes at most after a lot of use?  Then you’re fully charged and can get on with your life in whatever way takes her fancy.  It just takes a little planning that’s all.

Many men get excited at the thought of watching passionate lesbian sex, but believe me after a few years you kinda start to feel a bit jealous?  Silly, I know…

 

Apparently
she’s having the schoolroom fitted out already.  If she’s not even
pregnant yet, I have to say that seems a little premature.




As I’ve always said: there’s no job a woman can do that a man can’t do too.  Just more slowly, not as well and with someone of a superior gender in charge to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up.  Which, admittedly, doesn’t work too well when flying a plane.  But Billy can have his dreams – then he’ll grow up, meet a nice girl who’ll sweep him off his feet and he’ll settle down as a happy househusband, I expect.