financial management – Page 11 – Contemplating the divine

Meek and feeble

He’s made a lifetime commitment.

My SO always says a bit of bruising on a man’s face can be quite attractive, anyway.

Actually, the market is a bit limited as sissy husbands tend not to have much time for reading, or a lot of pocket money.

It’s all a bit academic (if you’ll pardon the pun), actually, because the school moved four years ago and there isn’t actually a Staircase B any more. Still, that’s no excuse for not memorising the rule properly, is it, boy?

I think the correct response is “Mmmmphh!”

She’ll tell me what she wants

(what she really really wants).

This is the magnificent Lady Sonia, of course. I’m a several-times client and believe me this is not a joke.

I hope she hurries up. The other guys are waiting. How come they don’t have to ask their wives for money? Huh. I suppose they must have saved out of their allowances.

The photo’s a bit deceptive. It’s actually only a drop of a hundred feet or so. Much less scary than pissing your domme off, anyway – up you go.

Actually, the joke’s on her because I love the humiliation of being considered a loser, like that. So I win! Oh hang on…

Awww… isn’t she sweet?

Delicately brutal

Obviously.

Don’t worry – you can appeal and if your conviction is overturned, they’ll have to pay compensation.

Mmmm… debt bondage.

It’s good that couples can laugh about these things.

Art for art’s sake.

Controlling passions

You can invest in ethical slaves too – taking the pay packets of men working in charity organisations and suchlike. The returns aren’t as high, obviously, but you know you’re doing good whenever you whip extra performance out of them, not just doing well.

Self-respect is a delusion to which males are often prone.

She’s going to want the mess cleaned up and taken away, too. Let’s hope she’s remembered to bring a little bag this time.

I’ve heard that a lot of great writers had a habit of getting up early and putting in a good solid four hours writing. Perhaps you could try that.

Probably facing rather a severe dressing down, by the look of it.

Mistress of arts

Women, eh? You can’t just straight-out discuss something, she has to set up the whole situation just right to ‘discuss it’. Oh well. Better humour her.

That’s a very wide hole. Still, maybe there are some guys who need that. Not jealous…

Phew. That could have gone quite badly. Remember the time you bought that fur coat in the wrong shade of silver?

I wonder if in the years to come, he’ll regret not having signed more forms? After all, it’s not going to be easy to sign anything, when she’s done with him.

This of course is the sweet and kindly Mistress Jo, of Cruella and British Institution fame. She’s just a softie really.

That’s something we’ve seen a lot of this year – this contemptuous attitude to ‘experts’. She could easily double the efficiency of the plant by not sitting on it, for example, but you just try telling her that…

Unrequited contempt

It’s always best to ask women in advance what they want. Imagine how awful it would be to spend an hour or two every day for a year writing 36,500 lines only to find out she’d really have preferred something else.

That’s not how many kicks you’re actually going to get, you understand. She just wants to understand how guilty you feel.

With Brexit it’s probably a good idea to own a few professionals based in Germany or France, too. You know – diversify.

Just take one whenever you experience feelings of adequacy or self-confidence.

What an honour.

Put in place

So I’m just supposed to hang around until she’s ready to talk, eh? Tsk. Bloody typical.

Mmm… keys.

You can give upward feedback too. From waaaay down there.

Hmm. Quite a predicament! Hope little wifey doesn’t smell the smoke! You know what she’s like…

She really shouldn’t have to worry about damage to boys’ internal organs. After all, damage to their external organs is so much more fun.

Marriage guidance

Honesty is so important in a mariage. I told my wife on our wedding night that I wanted her to be completely honest and open, if my performance in bed wasn’t satisfying her, and the very next day she told the hotel staff and a couple of guys we met in a bar all about it. And since then, she’s told all her friends, all my friends, my co-workers and quite a lot of random strangers. So much better for these things to be out in the open, don’t you think?