Being the best she can make me

 
You know, there are whole ‘pick-up artist’ sites that are all about how to get women to take their panties off, but none of them have hit upon this very simple technique.  It’s just about understanding her needs, really.
 
 
I would.  I wonder what it would have felt like.
Going to be a long, hot summer.
More women suffer from having excessively deep vaginas than many men realise – almost everyone I’ve been on a date with has had that problem, remarkably.








It’s a form of ‘one woman one vote’ system.
Further details available here.

As specks of dust we’re universal

I love this song. It’s got nothing at all to do with femdom, except in the sense that obviously no male could ever write something so great (unless inspired by a muse, I suppose).  So: SFW warning if you click the link, yeah?


Right. On with the poppycock.





Or don’t be brave. To be honest, Trudy doesn’t really mind either way.
Always a bit dull listening to someone describing their dream, isn’t it?  Still: better humour her.  Don’t want to be whipped.

I wish she didn’t have to as well.  So why does she?
After a session with a domme I’d been seeing for a while, I asked what she really thought of me, but she just laughed and told me to fuck off and book a humiliation session.  I guess she must have mis-heard.
She’s not really looking to discuss this, by the way. She’s just sharing how she feels – it’s a Mars/Venus thing, yeah guys?  Just go with it.


I stand to be corrected

… or I bend over, or I just wriggle slightly in the bonds, making little mmphing pleading sounds.

There are no ‘behavioural problems’, only behavioural opportunities, my SO always says.  And I agree with her.


What many men who dabble in men’s lib don’t get is how profoundly offensive it is to women, to suggest that the sexes are equal.  I mean, how do you think she’d feel, to be told she’s no better than…  well… you?

Hypothermia play!  Mmmm….

Actually, I’m more of a leg man.  So, with a bit of luck…. oh dear.

Customs change – what was acceptable in times gone by is profoundly offensive nowadays.  I went to a stage show the other night which featured an on-stage spanking and I just cringed. I wasn’t even in the front row either – how come I always get picked?


Household rulers




I’m normally done in 15 seconds anyway, actually.

Some evenings she likes just to chain him to the cold cellar floor, come upstairs, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and a box of tisues and settle down to a good rom-com on TV.

As long as the first ring goes on OK, erections shouldn’t be a problem.

That is the deal.  I have yet to discover when, if ever, is ‘off shift’.
I seem to spend my whole life charging devices – if it’s not the shock collar, it’s the phone, and all her vibrators need constantly to be fully charged too… modern world, I suppose.


The angel at my side…

…. she gives me good advice.

Actually, the idea that men can’t multi-task is a complete myth.  Men who think they can’t just need to meet a woman with the right attitude.  It’s just laziness.
Don’t worry… they don’t tug hard.  She does, but that’ll be the scrotal clip, not the nipple… so not so bad.

Life as a conversation piece.

Oh well. It’s better than coming back down to ‘discuss’ it while they’re still here.  I hate that.
Decisions, decisions.   Thank goodness I never have to make any.

Penalty and repentance

 

They are – and not just the food.  The sex will be longer, more satisfying and 100% female, too.
You get a special decoration too.  Not a medal.  Just… decoration.
Sometimes a question isn’t really a question.
 
It’s always difficult arriving as a substitute teacher, in the middle of the school year.  But just do your best.  Maybe Mr Harris will turn up again – he must be somewhere, after all.
Perpetuity is quite a long time.  It might feel even longer.




She’s my lady…

…I’m her boy.

No, just need a lamp-post to raise my leg against some time soon, that’s all. No rush.






A range of sizes  – but all boyfriend-sized, not you-sized, yeah?  Mike’s friends will be real guys.








Actually, it’s extremely good practice because they don’t usually bother to fill the pool with water.
How very kind of her.
She should make sure she gets his consent first, though. Or during – whatever’s easiest.


You’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties

Happy relationships are all about boundaries.  Many newly-married men get a bit silly about not being able to lead the batchelor life any more, but are you really any ‘less free’ just because from now on you can’t do or say anything your wife disapproves of?  It’s just a different way of life, that’s all.








Rubbing up against a tree?  Sounds a bit kinky.








She seems nice.








Yes, let’s.








What a lovely film that was.  Especially the bath scene…


Born to be Wilde

Today’s theme is gardens and gardening for reasons that should be obvious.

I’ve always fantasised about my Mistress lending me out to a vanilla friend, but it’s actually less exciting than you might think.  One of her old school friends offered to try it, but almost as soon as I arrived and got changed into my perky little maid’s outfit, somehow I knew it wasn’t going to work.  I did the housework for a bit but I think we both felt uncomfortable and so after a couple of hours he phoned for Mistress to come and pick me up again.


Scurry scurry scurry.
There are more dandelions.  Many more.

He’s at peace, now.

If she does roquet you – that is, hits one of your balls with hers – then she gets to ‘croquet’ – and there are two ways of doing it.  The American rule is that she puts her foot down, firmly holding the ball immobile, before tapping it with her mallet.  But in Britain, she just places her ball next to yours and thwacks as hard as she can. It’s all in the angles, you see.  Anyway, both methods are a lot of fun.





Helpless when she smiles

… and indeed when she doesn’t.


What a tie-breaker.



Needless to say, this blog does not purport to offer financial advice, and no investments should be undertaken on the basis of what you read here, unless so advised by an independent financial advisor, or directly ordered by a woman.

My SO sometimes let me choose the style of play.  Just none of the content.

They’re very strange.  I think most of them have just never experienced the firm loving guidance of a real woman. Sad, really.
Yes. Everything will be perfect.