Category: chastity

Viral captions

So the thing is still out there, doing its thing.  A few more captioned images about the thing.


It seems like it’s been going forever, like the longest ever corner time but without the delicious sense of humiliation.  I suppose it will end eventually, and we creepy freaks can return to abnormality.  One day, perhaps people will even look back on this blog and laugh.  Unlikely, I’ll admit.


For those of you worried I might get ill and die: I have actually been practising social distancing and self isolation since before it was a thing.  Mainly at parties.  Plus, I’m told that to suffer a life-threatening condition, you have to have a life, so I think I’m fine.
























































Words of praise


Look at that… she gets to have a mug of rich, steaming coffee… and Raoul’s coming round later, too. 
Things just haven’t been the same between us since Humpy Hippo moved in.
 If you like Humpy Hippo, then you might also like Mr Floppyears because it’s basically the same caption.
I remember as a child running excitedly to the door to let the District Disciplinary Officer in, while Dad grovelled for mercy at my Mum’s feet.  These days you can order a beating on-line, but it’s not the same.
It’s silly to criminalise sexism. Men are better than women at lots of things and it shouldn’t be a crime to say so.  Hard labour, for a start: we’re really good at that.












10 Green Bottles?

 

Ooh!

It’s as far as I can take it.


Do you think you could ask him to slow down for just a moment while I write the captions under the pictures? No?  OK, well, I’ll do my – ouch, that was a deep one! – I’ll do my best. 



Sounds like someone’s having a bad day.  Who’d have thought being sissy maid to a sadistic perfectionist would be so difficult?
Trick question.  You need a lot more and she’s waiting for you to tell her that.  It’s a Mars/Venus thing, just go with it.

Her sister rebelled against the whole female supremacy thing.  Lives with a guy in Brighton and she lets him have his own pocket money and she even helps out occasionally with the housework.  Still, each to their own.


What a very sharp observation.


Fair maidens, faint hearts




I find it’s always easier to tell the truth. The aftermath is sometimes extremely difficult.

I have my pride.  At least, I did. Hang on…it’s got to be here somewhere.

By a curious coincidence, I got the cattle prod for ‘last night’ the very second day of my marriage.
I get quite excited about this sort of thing.
I heard Jason was having an operation so I sent flowers and my best wishes for a full recovery.  Well, you never know, he might.









Heaven-sent

… and very nice too*




All the ways I could be a better husband?  Wow.  I think I’m going to need two days locked in the stocks, at least.



What a lot of fuss, about a routine operation.  You’d think I was the first person whose tonsils she’d removed.  I… hang on… didn’t I have my tonsils out when I was a teenager? 
Oh, don’t worry: I’ll keep looking. I might cry a little, if that’s OK.

She insists on her tea being just the way she likes it. Also the ironing, bed corners, washing up, bookshelves, underwear drawer, bath, breakfast, ornaments, cushions, carpets, gin & tonic, shoes, lawn, floor tiles, nail polish, ….
The splendidly-named Miss Hunter, on whose wall I would love to end up as a trophy.







Many dommes find the things we submissives do disgusting.  That’s why they so enjoy hitting us.





* but if anyone happens to be able to locate the scene in the British sitcom Game On (rather a lovely ‘situation’: sad male failures share flat with goddess) in which Samantha Janus rushes around putting her make-up on to this song, I’d be most grateful.

Subjectivity

Noun: the state of being a subject.  That used to be me but now I’m more objective.


No great loss, right?
Somehow it still feels like I’m on the leash, even when I’m not.  Strange, that.
I rolled a six this month!  But apparently “rules are made to be broken”!  Not her usual attitude to rules, I have to say… but that’s women for you.  Bless ’em.
She’s already being the best wife she can. That’s why you’re wearing the shock collar.








My brain hurts.  Sorry: I think I’m just too male today to understand this one. Something about a hash?  Is she talking about breakfast?

Malevolent society

Possibly rather alarming, but don’t worry: she’s a kind and loving person. She has cats, for example.  Cat people are always OK, right?  She has several cats and she loves them dearly.
Fortunately, scurrying is one of the things I do best.



It’s odd, because when I bring up how little I like the idea of giving blow-jobs, she says I shouldn’t rule something out without trying it!  I’m almost tempted to agree with the sexists that women can’t do logic.  But I won’t argue about it.  It’s just very frustrating, though, you know?
Looks like you owe your liberty to her.  I hope you’re grateful.








Poor Diana. Oh well, back to lesbianism I suppose.

There is no fire

Music only a little related. But don’t you just love the way Mistress Lennox’s voice sort of… swoops in at the start? I do. And I tried to find a version with a video, and I found this and she looks lovely, but someone’s ringing a bell, playing an electric organ and generally messing up that opening.


Sigh.  First world problems…

More things follow:

I had this wonderful puppy play session in the park, the other day.  She did that thing of making me balance a twig on my nose in sitting position?  And then she backed slowly away saying ‘stay… stayyyy’.  It’s actually quite hard to stay still for long like that, so after only seven hours, I sneezed and the twig fell off. If I ever see her again, I’ll have to tell her and be punished. Exciting thought!

 

Oh, just a plain vanilla ball-crusher, then? OK, sorry.  Just go ahead.



I still remember the first time she called me a ‘lazy little bastard’…
It’s actually not quite true to say she doesn’t care. She enjoys making you cry. But she’s trying to spare your feelings, the dear thing.





Yup. All about the rules.






Never say never again

Please?  Please don’t say that. I’ll be good, I promise.  I – 




Its ridiculous really. If she wants a curvy cock, what does she think this is, neatly tucked away in the tube around my scrotum?  Women, eh?

He’ll be thanking her particularly fulsomely.*

Maybe I could have sex in the fields?  When the weather’s a bit warmer, obviously.

I wonder what the question was… Honestly, who writes these things? Why be so obscure?

And new things about bears. I’ve heard they shit in the… anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a very interesting time.





* ‘Fulsome’ is a word often mis-used to mean ‘complete’ or ‘enthusiastic’ when in fact it means ‘excessively flattering or insincerely earnest’.  I once emailed a domme I was visiting, expresing my ‘fulsome’ thanks for my treatment in our last session, to be greeted next time by a Mistress holding a dictionary and a cane.

Begging the question

It’s usually “May I? Please Mistress?”

Typical. She remembered to pack plenty of condoms for her own sexual pleasure, didn’t she? But didn’t think to bring just one little key.  Honestly: if I’m permitted speaking rights at any point during this trip, I’m going to give her a piece of my mind!



Many people get uncomfortable at the idea of public humiliation scenes, which impose your own sexuality on random strangers without their consent.  But in this case, she made you go around asking everyone in the cafe if they were OK with watching you being humiliated for sexual kicks, so that’s all right.
Actually, the neighbours wouldn’t mind.  They never liked him. But it’s thoughtful of her to think of them.

‘Fool around’?  Who says that, these days? Why do people in porn talk so weirdly?




Can’t argue with the science.