Category: chastity

True love’s first slap

She’s vegan because she can’t abide cruelty, except under carefully-controlled conditions.  Her blonde friend there isn’t so fastidious, so I’ve heard.

 

It can be quite tedious for our superiors, having to wait to let the dread build up. Thank goodness she has someone to keep her company,

 

 

There’s such a gap between language and reality, the way men talk about sex.  Like – a guy might say that he’s got something hard between his legs but I’ll bet it’s nothing like as hard as what I’ve got between mine.

 

For a long time, I can honestly claim I had ‘never had any complaints’ from women, sexually speaking, but then there was the shocking experience of my first date. Still, so far only one woman has ever actually told me on the basis of experience that I’m bad at sex, all the others have just played it safe.
  

 

 

I can’t imagine how he was expecting to get through passport control, naked with his wrists shackled behind him to a wooden bar locked around his bollocks.  I mean, he doesn’t even have proof of his posiitve PCR test.

 

 

 

 

Sweet surrender

 

It’s basically harmless: it’s just in a cage to keep it from getting into trouble, that’s all.

 

 

 

Life-long learning.  Apparently we’ll all be doing that in the future, which sounds very exciting.

 

 

 

No, nothing.

 

 

 

 

Happiest day of your life they say.  OK, that’s not always true but it does seem certain there will be a great many days after this one that are thoroughly unhappy, so it’s quite an accurate description.


Oh well.  She tried.  Now she’ll try something else.


 

Indifferent ways of loving

Oh well, at least she’s finally taking an interest.


 

 

 

‘Getting annoyed’ is something the OWK ladies are quite spectacularly good at.  I understand it’s listed on the application form for the job.


 

 

 

That’s reassuring.

 

 


Oh dear, what a terrible tragedy.  The poor thing.  She’d only just started to get over the previous one.


Let’s hope they don’t go too far.  These things can easily get out of hand.


 

Little man, you’re crying

 She knows why you’re blue.


Thank goodness (and her) for that.



I’ve always thought it odd that I am both her object and her subject.



When she talks of the ‘place’ that’ll do it, just think of a gleaming, modern medical facility, OK?  Not a dirty garage filled with rusty tools.  It’ll be easier that way.


Thank goodness for the invention of electricity – it’s a great way to save labour, or induce it depending on who’s holding the zapper.





One day your luck might run out.


Think of all the fun I’ve missed

Oh, you can wait, surely?  So selfish…


Males often don’t listen properly to women.  The best thing, I find, when discussing something important, is to concentrate 100% on listening, not speaking.  That way, there’s less danger of a painful misunderstanding.



Accessorise! 




I wouldn’t say ‘peaked’ exactly.  It continued to rise for a bit, then fell off a cliff, so to speak.




Christmas Special tomorrow on Contemplating the Divine!  What’s special about it?  Oh, well – the captions are all about Christmas!  Like this one, y’know… not that special, I suppose.  But then who among us is, apart from the ladies obviously?


Sustained abjection

Thank goodness for that.  Well… thank Mistress Magda, anyway.

 

 

Tom’s looking forward to their feedback.

 

 

 

Or a card game.  ‘Pairs’ springs to mind, for instance.

 

It’s good when people feel they can share about their private life with co-workers.



Don’t worry – he’s not as bad at it.  Just bad.


 

 

 

 

Sexually impermissive

She is technically a sex worker but then what you are doing is not technically sex, so I think it’s really up to her.


 

 

You could try giving her just a little trouble.  Just to test that wrist action. 

 

 

 

Yeah, it’s not a sexual thing for him.  Or for you, as you’ll discover.

 

 

 

I had a very sheltered upbringing – so much so that I was still a virgin when my second wife divorced me.

 

Obviously.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Venging angels

Like many guys, I walk around fully conscious of the big swinging padlock between my legs.

 

 

It’s actually a very environmentally-friendly way of disposing of old shoes.

 

 

 

Oh, all right then.  Let’s be daring, for a change.

 

 

It must be weird being vanilla – you do a sexy maid scene and hardly any floor actually gets scrubbed.  I’m not sure I could cope with that kind of unrealistic fantasy.

OWK’s safety record overall was only middling, but that average conceals an important disparity between male and female injuries, the latter being thankfully rare, the former equally thankfully daily.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oppressive unreality

 

That seems very fair.  In the early days of our marriage my SO would occasionally let me vote on things, although of course she had the tiebreaking vote in case of a 1-1 outcome.  It made me feel empowered and valued, which is presumably why she stopped doing it.


 

No mother-in-law jokes, please – she has many sterling qualities (firmness, willpower, attention to detail) but unfortunately ‘a sense of humour’ is not one of them.

 

 

Fortunately, there are plenty of male disciplinary jobs in the new Matriarchy for former sex-workers – oddly enough, it’s the vanilla ones who’ve been most enthusiastic about it.

 

 

 

Don’t worry: Mistress won’t let her hurt you without good cause.

 

And if you did mind, it really wouldn’t matter.