caption – Page 89 – Contemplating the divine

Leading ladies

Oh, it would be just awful lying across that skirt having your backside whacked repeatedly with a heavy wooden hairbrush, don’t you think? Awful. No, no, please don’t do that.

Well at least she’s giving you a choice.

Oddly enough, it’s quite common to experience a powerful orgasm at the actual moment of castration. Usually the surgeon just needs to take a moment to get her breath back and then finish the operation, though.

I see a happy ever after on the horizon.

You know, I write a lot here about being told I was ‘the worst fuck ever’ on dates, but actually it’s only happened to me once.

The latest turns

Latest, that is, in the ever-popular turning points series. Femdom captions, about situations that aren’t quite femdom (but the captions really are captions). Remarkably, clicking on the link hidden in that first sentence will take you to no fewer than 26 previous posts featuring turning points… goodness, I have been running this blog for a long time.

Kind hearts and martinets

I shot an arrow in the air; she fell to earth in Berkely Square. Warning: safe for work and unrelated.

I’ll confess to anything because I’m guilty guilty guilty!

As long as there’s wi-fi.

Don’t be so suspicious.

“Isn’t that silly” is a phrase I used to hear a lot on dates, oddly enough.

It’s good to feel useful, now there’s nothing to do but hang around the house all day. I’m worried we might run out of toilet paper, though. Goodness knows what we’d do, then.

Callous talk

Oh no. Don’t tell me I married an escape artist. Again.

Scurry scurry scurry.

Thank goodness it’s nothing personal.

That looks very motivating, doesn’t it? I think just one of those rods would motivate me, so a whole bunch wrapped together like that… I feel motivated just looking at them.

I wouldn’t mind, but he’s the priest who married us and that just seems wrong. Still… very nice shoes.

The Passion

When pain is over, the remembrance of it often becomes a pleasure.

… and then the pain is back again, and so it goes on.

Astute readers (both of you) will have recognised a Jane Austen quotation, of course, and realised that you are in for a treat. Oh yes – regency femdom! More hot chicks in empire-line dresses! And long sentences, in elegant serifed fonts instead of that dreadful modern Gill Sans.

Swoon on.

Lock me down, lock me up

I don’t have much time to think about sex – too busy running this blog and there’s nothing remotely sexy here.

If I’m an adult man, surely I should be allowed to stay up after 8 o’clock?

I never know if it’s one kiss or two.

Only a bit useful. But that’s more than he used to be.

Maybe she’s only looking at Tumblr. No naked women on Tumblr. Vile racism, lies and misinformation, even ‘humorous’ captions about torture and castration, reblogged from here. But no ladies with their clothes off, than goodness, so society is safe.

Slavish allegiance

Well, I’m… I mean they’re shoes, it’s no big… erm. Oh all right then.

Her client minds. But no one cares what he thinks.

Sounds complicated… I’ve forgotten the rules already. Good thing she’s got a whip.

A lot of men are a bit resistant to having an implant, but I’ve never heard a man who had it complain, so maybe the best thing is just give it a go?

Jeremy doesn’t complain, either. Obviously a very happy marriage.

And make her some great Princess, six feet high!

Grand, epic, homicidal.

Armpit Fetishist Monthly is just another example of the decline of traditional media, another fine publication swept away by the Internet. I recall their cookery page with particular affection.

…and by the way, I have posted this before even with the same comment, but… Oh. My. Goddess. I have to see this movie!

My office established a system of disciplinary procedures for inappropriate sexual activity. Which to my mind is just having your cake and eating it too… or would be, were I allowed cake.

I’m thinking of paella – perhaps a nice Rioja to go with it? And maybe Roger might like to try bastinado, in keeping with the Spanish theme.

With luck, she’ll take up chewing gum obsessively.

Love hurts and so does she.

By the way, this lady is going to feature here rather a lot from now on. Unless she takes out an injunction or something (don’t you hate it when women do that?). Nata!