caption – Page 56 – Contemplating the divine

Adding insults to injuries

Costs extra but it’s worth it, believe me.

Try making a list of all the things you know annoy her and run through them all. It might take a while, but you’ve got all day.

I’m good at being annoying. Less so at having orgasms, because I don’t have as many opportunities.

Many visitors to OWK think Czech classes are pointless because the ladies just scream at you and beat you up anyway. Which they do, obviously, but occasionally being able to plead piteously for mercy in Czech can result in slightly less pain. Very slightly. Sometimes. And if the Lady in question is not actually Slovak, obviously. But still…

You might find you get a bit irritable without coffee. Interestingly, that can turn out to be a learning experience too.

Maybe she’ll show you what she’s put down on Governess Hardcastle’s booking form. Or maybe she won’t and it’ll all be a surprise! Still, at least you can be confident there won’t be any little blonde findomme princesses or tarts in latex with big tits. Thank goodness.

Her opinion matters

It does – like many other men, I discovered early on in married life how much pain can be caused by not listening carefully enough to my partner’s concerns.

Hmm. It’s hardly surprising they don’t send her the best boys they have, if she keeps on breaking them. But I don’t want to be the one to tell her that.

Unnecessary rudeness can leave such a nasty taste in the mouth.

Mistress wants her slave to put his clothes back on – quietly now! – tiptoe off to the dungeon door and silently fuck off. There’s a good boy.

It’s good they’re all labelled because the faces usually get a bit messed up and hard to recognise, particularly those who were married when they arrived.

Try not to judge her too harshly. He is very annoying.

True love’s first slap

She’s vegan because she can’t abide cruelty, except under carefully-controlled conditions. Her blonde friend there isn’t so fastidious, so I’ve heard.

It can be quite tedious for our superiors, having to wait to let the dread build up. Thank goodness she has someone to keep her company,

There’s such a gap between language and reality, the way men talk about sex. Like – a guy might say that he’s got something hard between his legs but I’ll bet it’s nothing like as hard as what I’ve got between mine.


For a long time, I can honestly claim I had ‘never had any complaints’ from women, sexually speaking, but then there was the shocking experience of my first date. Still, so far only one woman has ever actually told me on the basis of experience that I’m bad at sex, all the others have just played it safe.

I can’t imagine how he was expecting to get through passport control, naked with his wrists shackled behind him to a wooden bar locked around his bollocks. I mean, he doesn’t even have proof of his posiitve PCR test.

More in indifference than in anger

Actually, female spiders eat their mates in only a minority of spider species and you’re in luck – the one that bit her is not from one of them. So I’m not even sure why she’s doing this, actually, but I’m sure if you point that fact out she’ll let you go.

Actually, the company medical plan does cover males but only for a few, specified surgical procedures.

Just go with it, see where it takes you. She’s not going to rush anything, plenty of time.

You might develop a foot fetish, eventually. And if you can develop a fetish for doing chores too you should have a very enjoyable marriage. Oh – and findom, too. Yeah, you definitely want to try to get into findom because there’s going to be a lot of that.

Irony… it’s like rain on your wedding day – which actually isn’t all that ironic, it’s just bloody uncomfortable, take it from me, especially when you’re chained up naked outside the church waiting for the bride.

Her whim be done

Reminds me of this amazing time I paid a pair of sex workers for the ‘two girls’ experience. That was a lot of ironing, I can tell you – not to mention dealing with the mess they’d made of the sheets doing whatever they were doing while I was slaving away in the utility room.

Don’t worry – she’ll discover new interests when she’s married. People do.

Women sometimes take a while to accustom themselves to just how much flogging males really need. There’s no end to it, truth be told.

If they’re feeling kind maybe they won’t pass the ‘mad bitch’ comment on.

Do pay Cruella a visit. Still going after all these years.

Mistress is going on a business trip in a few weeks leaving the two of you alone together, so perhaps that will provide an opportunity to resolve this nonsense once and for all? Really talk it through, I mean. Maybe even try to find a compromise. She’s not going to risk a smacked bottom, after all.

Supremely confident

Thank goodness he’s around.

My SO can be quite inconsistent on this. If a tawse or cane she was hoping to use goes missing – or on one memorable occasion the batteries from her favourite cattle-prod – she instantly suspects me and we ‘have a little chat’ about it. But if a key isn’t where she’d expected it to be it’s ‘just one of those things’ and ‘is bound to turn up in a month or two’. Women. Eh?

As anyone deeply familiar with the OWK photographic record will testify: describing an OWK slave as ‘that one with the stupid moustache’ isn’t really specific enough. They might have to have a lot of slaves punched to be sure to get the right one. Still, no real harm done if so, I suppose.

Am I the only male sub whose first experience of toilet slavery was during the interval during a fully-booked theatrical performance? I suspect not.

…which is actually true of a lot of things, if you think about it. As I’m sure you have. Pervert.

Unrestrained elegance

A truly service-oriented submissive would have one ready, anticipating her needs.

They say Paris is the city of lovers. Maybe she’ll have a several, while you’re there.

Don’t worry, the whip’s just for show. Well… I mean, it’s mainly for the slaveboy, obviously. But in this context, it’s mainly for show.

You’re very much at the bottom end of it, obviously, but part of the family nonetheless.

Skirts are much more convenient, as I can personally attest.

Her husband, her rules

She doesn’t need any limits, so why would you?

Actually, the disciplinary spankings can also be part of a healthy, active sex life, as long as it’s understood that it’s not yours.

It’s a day to express gratitude, so don’t forget to do that. Oh – and to count, too.

Don’t worry: ‘the good bit’ goes on for a long time.

When she says she ‘doesn’t believe a word of it’ she means the story, obviously. She fully agrees with the statement that was actually tattooed on.

Sweet surrender

It’s basically harmless: it’s just in a cage to keep it from getting into trouble, that’s all.

Life-long learning. Apparently we’ll all be doing that in the future, which sounds very exciting.

No, nothing.

Happiest day of your life they say. OK, that’s not always true but it does seem certain there will be a great many days after this one that are thoroughly unhappy, so it’s quite an accurate description.