Category: caption

Torturous logic

She’s right, of course. Quite early in my marriage, I realised that what I naively thought of as ‘too much pain’ was, when viewed in proper perspective, ‘not enough pain’. It’s funny how wrong men can be about such things.
Speaking of Orgasm Day – guess what? Thursday’s mine! Yes, every February 29th, regular as clockwork, I get to have an orgasm. Unless my behaviour has been particularly bad, obviously, or if she’s too busy. She suggested the date herself – I’d wanted some time in June, but apparently this is much better.
This is one of the tasks you’ll be judged on, so do it right.
Nothing wrong with enjoying your job, I say.
What if I’m not ready? Hmm? What do you suppose she’ll – AAH!
I hadn’t realised she owned a big dog… I guess that’s why she has that big cage in the garden.

Implausible truth can serve one better than plausible fiction

Attentive ‘readers’ will recognise the magnificent Mistress Eleise, of course. Her web site, alas, seems not to have been updated since 2019, so this might be as close as you’re ever going to get.

The presence of Lady Sophia Black, on the right there, brings to two the number of extraordinarily beautiful and creative dommes who are now retired, in today’s post. If you missed out on both Mistress Eleise and Lady Sophia then… well, I’m afraid you face a lifetime of sadness and regret. Sorry and all that, but there it is… you can at least be happy for me that I managed to meet them both. Several times. Does that help? Anyway, fortunately, Lady Lola, on the left, appears still to be active and I’m sure will give you a ballet lesson to remember, if you ask very very nicely.

Managing partners

It was kind of her to warn you. Sadly, she’s out of kindness now.
Many people get quite nervous, going on live TV for the first time. But ‘Goddess’ here doesn’t get nervous and while ‘submissive worm’ certainly does, he long ago learned to focus his fear on what – or who – really matters.
Don’t worry, it won’t all be vegetables. She has tins of various meat products too, some with marrowbone jelly.
Of course, the sissy who is complaining here could always use his own safeword. Mistress is very committed to consensual BDSM and allows her sissies to safeword any activity they don’t like. But we’re only a couple of months into the year and he’s learnt it’s best to save it for something really brutal, rather than face ten months with no recourse except pathetic pleading.
Why not both, at the same time?
Try asking about her hobbies over dinner… it’s boring just hearing about someone’s work, anyway.

Pain points

These ladies like to emphasise them.

Probably best to clear two hours, there’s no point in rushing these discussions.
Oh well, if it’s complicated probably best not to inquire further. Anyway, you’re paying for this time. Let’s play!

For the avoidance of doubt, I am sure that in real life Goddess Lady Skotia plays safely and delightfully, so the widow’s fascinator (such a lovely word) is just part of the outfit. And she does look very fetching in it.

“I am her Highness’ gimp at Kew, pray tell me Sir, whose gimp are you?”
It’s Mike I feel sorry for. She might not be bothered where her shots end up but he has to run to fetch the bolts back. A fully cocked crossbow fires them at several hundred miles per hour, so they go a long way if nothing gets in the way to slow them down.

Miss Chambers from Cruella a long time ago… such a pretty nose.

That’s a bit unfair. I frequently get quite close to girls who are having real sex, sometimes under the very bed where it’s happening.
Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.

Unselfish cruelty

Oh, OK. I’d previously always been told it was barely noticeable.
I dream an impossible dream about unfair maidens.
Oh dear. The poor thing. There is actually one little untruth in the account above – despite being so much younger than her poor dead husband, she’s actually more sexually experienced than him, as it happens. But I don’t think those kinds of prurient detail need to come out in court, do you? She’s suffered enough.
Lots of things are handwash-only, these days. For others, I’m allowed to use my mouth too.
I once tried sewing some pads into the base of some shorts I often wear around the house. Of course my SO discovered the ruse… and she was very unhappy about it. As she explained, it not only diminished the efefctiveness of any disciplinary measures she saw fit to impose, it also demonstrated ungratitude for all the efforts she makes. She was quite upset – and after she’d explained the point at length, I really felt her pain and I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards too. Don’t do it, guys.
I guess he got the good genes. And now he’ll have the chance to put some of them inside her.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

Perfectly entitled

She doesn’t have to repeat herself, but of course she’s perfectly entitled to say the same thing every month.
He, on the other hand, is not at all entitled but is hoping for a favourable outcome. I’m sure she’ll say yes: it would be mean and capricious to say no, after all.
He thought it would make the scene more edgy, using a real loaded gun, and he was right. Some dommes would just work it into the scene, maybe even applying a wickedly tight tourniquet to the affected body parts (helping to staunch the massive loss of blood as well as providing a kinky thrill) but it seems this one has had enough. I expect she needs a quiet evening in, with a hot bath, a bottle of wine and her cats – to put her weird and kinky clients right out of her mind.
Don’t worry: no one will think any less of you because you’re only a homemaker. They all regard you with utter contempt already.
Nothing like a cold shower in February to bring a brisk dose of real life to a femdom session, I find. PS – why are dedicated dungeon spaces often so f***ing cold? Perhaps I should just play domestic scenes in winter months, curled up over a lap in front of a nice warm fire, with a nice warm bottom…
She’s a pro and she demands a professional service.

The more cruelly she treats him

“…and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him, by so much the more will she increase his desire, be loved, worshipped by him.” The Founder himself said that, in Venus in Furs. He was right, although I don’t suppose Wanda thought any more of him as a result.

She’s trying her best to make this chastity regime work but you at least have to meet her halfway.
Good thing he warned her, or this could turn out to be a lot more painful than he’d expected.
He may be dying a virgin but he can be happy that he’s provided a woman with sexual fulfillment, even if only in his agonised dying moments. So there’s that.
If you think an affectionate little peck on her shoe is embarassing in public, try being slapped in public. Just not doing the kiss should be enough to bring it on.
I’m one of those people who can’t be hypnotised. Some say it’s a willpower thing, but as a sub it’s hard for me to believe that. A few people are just immune and that’s that. Back when I was a smoker, my girlfriend at the time persuaded me to go to a hypnotherapist she knew and the smoking craving was just as strong after the session as before. As it happens I did give up smoking soon after, but that was because I couldn’t really afford it, because I suddenly realised, that very evening, that I wanted to start handing over 75% of my income to my girlfriend. So it was just coincidence that it was right after the session with the hypnotist. It was difficult, but I managed to give up the cigarettes, entirely on my own, even though I decided I should be buying a pack daily for her new boyfriend, soon after. Maybe it is willpower, after all.
Pro tip: arguing that you weren’t, in this situation, is a losing proposition.

Divine furies

No, not ‘furries’. The Furies “were goddesses of vengeance and justice. Symbolized by snakes and blood, the Furies travelled the earth dispensing punishment, as well as torturing souls in the Underworld, the Greek realm of the dead.” Don’t they sound lovely?

That’s the thing about girls that boys often don’t get: girls like to play together as a team, all working towards a common goal even in what is notionally a competition. Superior social skills, you see. They hunt in packs.
Of course, she’s going to need occasional videos to prove he’s still alive and they’re treating him right.
Some subs find real ashtray play with lit cigarettes quite challenging but the trick is to adopt the right attitude: as long as the domme doesn’t give a flying fuck whether they find it difficult or not, it’ll all work out.
It’s a mistake to think boys don’t need any education in maths. If a pair of panties takes 30% longer to handwash when it’s her time of the month, for example, what time on a Sunday does her sissy maid have to begin washing the week’s supply in order to leave time to start the dinner? Of course, males can get help – my SO very frequently lets me practice counting, along with thanking her.
Haven’t you got better things to do than just stare at her suspenders and stocking tops? No? Oh, OK then.
Kitten doesn’t want you to be sad. She wants you to be happy because she’s happy.

…and a bonus image, in the unlikely event that any of you have been following the viral ‘Bentley girl’ breakout of the lady pictured above (whom I call ‘Kitten’ and place – no doubt grossly unfairly – in captioned images to epitomise exploitative but hot ‘sugar daddy’ style findomme). Example video here, Kitten herself getting into the joke here….

If you don’t know the videos, you won’t get it, and it’s not femdom… but then that’s why it’s a bonus, see? Like getting an extra slap from a domme when leaving a session, without paying any more.

It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do

You will, of course, have recognised the title from the divine Jane’s Sense and Sensibility and thus have girded your loins (or had someone else firmly gird them for you) for another chapter of this blog’s longest running theme: period femdom. Like period drama you see, only…

What? No, not that kind of ‘period’. Pervert.

Anyway, here come the hot chicks in empire-line dresses, bustles, cropped bodices and suchlike.

They needn’t worry. The spirit of Chrstian mercy burns fiercely in their Aunt’s breast and she would greatly prefer to see the lad thrashed – several times, ideally – and retained in her service.
In the last county fair, the whippiness and suppleness of the birches produced on her estate received high praise.
As Marx tells us, social relations will be revolutionised by technological and economic developments. Yes, industrialisation may regrettably make slavery obsolete, but it will bring in new possibilities too. Electric cattle prods, for instance: unknown in pre-industrial society but today it is hard to imagine married life without them.
I have made a careful study of the good Baron’s oeuvre and may yet publish a scholarly monograph on it. Sadly, some of the pages in my only copy of his greatest work have become stuck together, so publication will have to wait.
To Sally’s disappointment, he describes nothing of the lives of the women of this exotic tribe and how they manage, left to their own devices without men. She takes a keen interest in that kind of thing. Perhaps when or if he writes another letter, she’ll learn more.
Don’t imagine that in saying ‘I’m sure you received worse thrashings in school’, she is merely speculating. She takes a keen interest in boys’ education and is on the board of governors of three local charity schools, so she is very well acquainted with the topic.