caption – Page 33 – Contemplating the divine

Hear her roar

… and hear me squeak.

I’m not allowed to look my SO in the eye under any circumstances, so for that (and other) reasons this situation never arises for me.

Loving brutal domination… that hits the sweet spot (repeatedly, raising welts and leaving it throbbing and sore).

Hard to understand atheists who say there’s no such thing as a divine being, in a world on which Mistress Eleise walks among us.

I wouldn’t mind but it’s seven floors up and the male lift (‘elevator’, Americans but you knew that right?) has been out of action all week.

It’s odd how often I find myself begging my SO for mercy, when begging her for brutal and gleeful ferocity would be so much more likely to succeed.

It’s actually quite common for bridegrooms to feel a little nervous and apprehensive before giving up their their body and eternal soul to the control of a callous and evil witch the big day. Looks like she has a potion that will rob you of any means of resistance just the solution. I guess that’s you damned to an eternity of suffering and torment why you’re marrying her, right?

To err is male

… to chastise, divine.

Well… at least until it stops stretching, obviously. Otherwise why go to all that trouble?

She’s smiling but she’s crying inside. Don’t make this harder for her.

Thank goodness (and her) for that.

My SO generally prefers me to be silent – except when I’m strapped down onto the whipping bench, when she usually removes my gag. It’s her opportunity to hear how how I’m feeling.

Lots of older men seek to relive their youth, with attractive young women. Looks like Timmy has hit the jackpot.

Due deference

Don’t worry: as an experienced keyholder, she’s very well aware of men’s sexual needs and makes sure they’re satisfied – unless there’s an urgent deadline, she’s teleworking or you receive a ‘needs improvement’ on your performance review, or something. Not their sexual wants, you understand, but definitely their needs.

There’s really no need for males to learn mathematical techniques beyond basic counting and thanking. I often even get that wrong, to be honest.

If its something you’re already good at, then maybe you should try that 10,000 hours technique, you know? That’s all you need to become really expert.

It’ll be good practice for when he’s released to forage for himself.

Aitor might make a bit of a mess later too, so thank goodness you’re around.

Dressed to suppress

You should stop asking… makes you come across as kind-of obsessive, and needy, you know? Just play it cool, say nothing and I expect she’ll make sure it happens when you really need it – and maybe even when you least expect it.

Looks good on her, but then she’s not attached to the wall by a chain clipped to her genitals, desperately gasping for short breaths.

Hah – actually the investment bank of which he is finance director has investments in several app developer start-ups. So I expect he knows all about it. And if not, there’s nothing like a sequence of electric shocks to to the cock to help you learn something quickly, believe me.

They’re just redistributing the wealth. From each according to how much she wants from him, to each according to whatever the little fucker deserves.

Good thing she had a humiliation session booked later the day she discovered the putrefying remains.

Here’s a bit of a how do you do!

Yes, here are even more modern femdom notions awkwardly crowbarred into scenes of elegant soirées, lusty stable-lads and thoroughly modern (and simply thrillingly butch!) lesbians… it’s another Downton Domination post.

Pre-war, obviously. During the war, bacon fat and lard were on the ration, so they just had to make do as best they could. Still, mustn’t complain: there was a war on, you know.

Looks like she’s planning to keep her chin up, no matter what. You might find yourself doing the same.

Men were men in those days – and knew how to take a marital beating like a man, too. Try not to let the side down, old chap, hmm?

She’s making sacrifices for her country: you, specifically.

Some might regret the passing of those days when a wife would see it as her duty to do whatever it took to satisfy her man sexually, like that. I won’t comment.

Ideas above my station

Scurry scurry scurry…

In practice a lot of the psychological elements flow fairly naturally from the pain and from the dread of it,

Coding’s a valuable skill in today’s economy but getting the coffee that helps keep the coding girls focused is vital too. Not as well paid – obviously, as a traditional male occupation – but there’s more to life than money and the satisfaction of a menial job done adequately cannot really be priced. Plus, a really good coffee boy might have a shot at a tampon boy position, should one become available. Better than sitting in front of a computer staring at boring old code, amirite?

So brave she bought a weekly pass enabling her to see any show she pleases. But watching Mark will be special for her, obviously.

This picture in welts was just chance but some dommes take pride in their artistic skill with the whip. My SO likes to do Mondrians on me, for instance. I don’t mind the lines, it’s the areas of uniform flat colour that really sting.

A happy Cruella shoot, of course, with all three participants enjoying the balmy British summer.

Perilous prose

You have to slap pretty hard to get the ketchup sachet to burst open. But then you have to slap pretty hard anyway – she insists on it – so don’t worry about that. Worry about other things.

And she’ll make sure you’re penciled in for one of the first slots available in her schedule after her holiday, OK?

I once told a domme I couldn’t really cope with public humiliation and she just looked at me strangely and asked how I managed in day to day life, never leaving the house. I think she must have misunderstood me.

Don’t worry, her travel insurance will make sure she gets all the money she needs after your tragic and unexplained disappearance.

My SO once had an affair with a lesbian sub and I was over the moon, because I thought finally there’d be another submissive to share the chores. But apparently lesbian D/S “doesn’t work like that”. And the attitude to chastity play was a bit different too… a lot different, if I’m honest.

Ladylike behaviour

A caption from the days before teleworking, of course. These days busy executives can do a full working day and tawse their husbands as often as needed, all without even leaving the house.

Obviously, men are allowed in the toilets to clean them – but that’s a privilege reserved for the best-behaved and longest-serving residents.

If they put that finding together with the body profile they deduced from the outsized maid outfit also found in your house, they just might get a clear picture of what happened. Science is great, isn’t it? Just ask Serena and Alice.

Some people who are generally quite dim can turn out to be brilliant at maths. Just like some of us with quite high IQs can often be fucking useless stupid morons – or as often as I can afford to pay people to tell me I am, anyway.

He must have very good genes. Shame there’s no question of them being passed on to the next generation.

When her pet-name for you is ‘maggot’

… then you know you’re onto a good thing.

Make sure you get the right one, this time.

She’ll have plenty of sex and plenty of money – she prefers to get them from different people, that’s all. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?

Sexual pleasure is over-rated anyway, so I have been led to understand.

Princess Neive and Miss Analisa, there, and also here. But neither working in person any more, I believe, alas.

Oh well. You can enjoy watching her eat too, I suppose, just like you watch her do the other thing.

I asked a sex worker for a nurse roleplay session and when I got there she threatened to go on strike, harangued me about the state of NHS funding and then fell asleep, exhausted after a 14-hour shift. Exactly as I’d asked for in my pre-session email… what a pro.

True love’s first slap

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.

Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else. Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her. I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.

I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers? You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not? That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?

Oh. OK then.

You could cavil at the poor quality of the photo, but this is Mistress Ardenne so even a blurry photo is more beautiful than 99.999999999999% of things on the planet. Long retired, I’m sure, so don’t even ask, OK?

Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot!

My SO says the same: apparently it’s ‘easier’ to leave me locked up. Personally, I’ve never had any real difficulties masturbating (except when my penis is locked in a tube, or I’m in tight bondage or agonising pain, that is) so I don’t really see why that should be but I don’t doubt she’s right. For one thing ‘doubting she’s right’ is #255 on the list of forbidden activities, just 243 places below masturbation itself.

Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.”

Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together. Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare.