Screaming historically

…with apologies for the unusually awful pun in the title, even by the standards of this blog, we happily present more femdom captions from a time before those words even existed.  But there are some timeless verities and female superiority is one such.







Hmm… maybe Karen Gillan was wrong.








Derogatory remarks

Did everyone get what they  wanted for Christmas? I hope so. I didn’t, not really. But apparently I got what I needed and what I deserved, which I’m given to understand is actually better for me. So that’s nice.


I wonder what she’s talking about. The usual  explanatory notes didn’t come with this one, I’m afraid.



I remember – very soon after I started seeing the lady who became my SO – very nervously broaching the subject of whether she might be prepared to try incorporating a little light spanking play into our bedroom routines. But she wasn’t really up for it. She said she preferred to stick with the bullwhip, shock baton and testicle clamps so I just pretended I’d been joking and I dropped the whole subject. I’ve often wondered how my life might have been different, had she said she’d try it… but it’s no use wishing for what might have been, is it?


Well… sex is important in her work, just as crime is important in a policewoman’s.



It’s going better than she’d dared to hope and she hasn’t even reached the gravel yet.



Oh dear… she’s not exactly trying to make you feel special, is she? But then, you’re not.



″‘You are fettered,’ said Scrooge, trembling. ‘Tell me why?’

Bah humbug.  Have some Christmas-themed captions and then that’s done for another year, thank goodness.


Oh well.  Time to pretend socks were the thing you wanted most of all in the world. Don’t you hate it when that happens?  All those little hints. Still, Angie’s right: you always need socks.




Oh dear: looks like the start of one of those Christmas rows. One advantage of the sort of relationship this blog celebrates, though, is that such unpleasantness is usually quickly and painfully resolved without upsetting anyone who matters.


Just give it a try.  She’s got this magnetic clicker thing to unlock it, somewhere. I tried one a few years back and I can honestly say it’s changed my life.




They try to get into the Christmas spirit at the Male Re-education Centres.  The joke they like to play on recently-castrated sex offenders with the ‘pass the parcel’ game is getting a little stale, these days, but at least they’re trying to keep things cheerful and festive, in otherwise grim surroundings.


Mistress Eleise with a cane.  And they say there’s no wonder or magic in the world any more.



Actually, Ian has got a present for you, of a sort. He hasn’t told her because she might try to stop him.  But that’ll just have to be a surprise.



…and an extra one.  Hey, why not – it’s Christmas!

Maybe time to try that 2000 piece jigsaw your aunt gave you – you know, to take your mind off things.



If it’s Tuesday this must be femdom

Fortunately their arguments are usually quite short.  She’s very sensitive, poor thing – hates it when there’s disagreement in her marriage.

 

 

Her husband’s very sensitive too, which is just the way she likes it.

 

 

“This slave is so privileged to have the honour of directing your divine footsteps, Mistress, and ventures most humbly to suggest that Mistress’s perfect feet should first take a left (by which is meant her left, needless to say, not the left from the perspective of this worthless insect), then…” etc etc.

 

 

Apparently one of his favourite maledom fantasies concerns ‘caning to real tears’.  So he’s in for a real treat today because that’s definitely on the agenda.

 

 

 

Just to be clear: she’s fairly unlikely to hold with that sort on nonsense after the wedding day, either. And there are other words for which you’d be wise not to dispute her definition: ‘husband’, for instance.

 

 

 

Imperial, mysterious

 …and in amorous array.

Lots of men get a bit nervous on their wedding days, but some have more cause for it than others.



But she is wearing everyday clothes, isn’t she?




Very weird.


Men are often not good at prioritising.  She can help with that.




Actually, Julie’s not keen on putting things out of their misery.  Neither of them are.



Maleness, managed

Some might say it’s not quite summer yet, so it’s a bit early to be putting him outside for the night, but she says the fresh air’s good for him.



It’s the extras that really define how well a marriage will work.  This one looks strong.

  



Har de har har.  Sorry about that.


 

 

 

Always a bit embarrassing to meet an old flame, but she’s making the effort so you should too.


 

You know, her relationship with Raoul would probably break down completely if you weren’t around.  Well done you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s good to be the Queen

Nice of her to ask, but she really needn’t have.

 

 

Don’t judge her, OK?  Let her judge you.

 

 

 

Every hour is devotional time, surely?

 

 

 

Technically, it works just as well when he’s not conscious, obviously, but she finds it harder to get motivated.


 

 

 

Poor things, I hope they’re not too cold.  Thank goodness they have coats, anyway.


 

 

Forceful females, meek males

Oh dear.  You had one job… Well, OK, you had several jobs if you count all the chores and you even had two jobs at a time during the spit-roasting bit but you know what I mean.




It’s their ‘rattan’ anniversary.




Maybe she should.  I hope she makes her mind up quickly rather than dithering about it… odd, because she’s usually very decisive.



 

The extra said yes – well, of course he did – but sadly the scene was cut from the movie.  He has developed quite a successful career though and has now had several minor speaking roles.  He was “Squeaky-voiced guy in elevator” in one of the recent Marvel movies, for instance.

 

 

 

It’s the way she tells them.