To be honest, I’ve never much seen the point of the Oscars.
It’s always such a disappointment, so many awards being handed out to people other than Anne. I’m not even going to watch it this year, partly as a result of that manifest unfairness, also because my TV privileges have been withdrawn for six months, for being uppity.
Obviously, I’m not saying She should get all the awards. I suppose that they have to go through the motions of giving a
few of the prizes to other people, but they
don’t have to make such a fuss about it. They could have a separate ceremony
at, I duuno, 10 in the morning or something and hand out a few things for
best special effects in a foreign-language wildlife documentary and suchlike, then get all that out of the way so they
can devote the evening to honouring Her.
Oh and ‘best’ actor? Really??? I mean, come on. Why not just go out into the street and start handing out awards for best left-over kebab, or most elegant piss stain against the wall? Political correctness gone mad, if you ask me.
Anyway, here are some movie-themed captions. Mostly sci-fi. I love sci-fi. I also love Anne Hathaway. It’s about time I told you that; I’ve been concealing it for too long.
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SbavQi4CPgw/WJbwTR8szQI/AAAAAAAAJDs/NYFuabkciq4bws7pwkkx6wfizP4f8rkUACLcB/s640/SC_Captions_Gender%2Basymmetry.jpg) |
There’s a shocking plot twist in Arrival. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, but let’s just say that Amy spends a long time in that suit at one point, and someone starts getting all snarky when she orders him to clean it out. |
![](https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fgvE8GRTzvo/WJbwTZ30J6I/AAAAAAAAJDo/u3r6AtCwFpcgyJQIVVisVItfbu0WS0_egCLcB/s640/SC_Caption_Tricias%2Bmethod%2Bacting.jpg) |
Sneak preview – I’m actually an extra in the sequel, WAOM 2! Well, a part of me is, anyway. Actually, it’s a stain on the sole of one of Tricia’s boots, but I do get a credit. |
![](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WxPodO9541s/WJb8P0IWuyI/AAAAAAAAJEE/4nZSFuAhlT8tl4RWrKLWCcWchSXVB7lrgCLcB/s640/SC_Caption_Command%2Bdecision.jpg) |
Life support won’t shut down for a day or two. So you’ll have the time to make the place tidy. |
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/---CAV1LB0sU/WJbwTP_EV0I/AAAAAAAAJDg/tgDhOjeAKkwNYM8ntmuu4nd88IofdXyeACLcB/s640/SC_Caption_UGM%2B1.jpg) |
I imagine everyone’s seen this movie, so I don’t suppose it’s news to anyone that the males surrender and are tortured viciously; the survivors being branded and enslaved. It’s a vison of a crushing, brutal tyrannical regime, spreading slavery and misery across the galaxy. But then Star Trek has always been idealistic like that. |
![](https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xbAWKUVjEoA/WJccgqLJNDI/AAAAAAAAJFc/tpY5JHQgpFA1DDZqKpQOy0ORpwN2kGAYACLcB/s640/SC_Caption_Passengers.jpg) |
If he was a bit brighter, he might have wondered why the deck his pod is on is called “Cargo Deck 3”. But he’s a man and men can be distressingly unobservant. |
![](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-edHFK3ot4S4/WJbwTghC4ZI/AAAAAAAAJDw/ligyRtATgaQwTAovTKcNjiQqb1Vp_DqbQCEw/s640/SC_caption_Anne%2Bon%2Ba%2Bmovie%2Bshoot.jpg) |
Actually, some of them have small speaking roles. Mostly crying and begging for mercy. |