To be honest, I’ve never much seen the point of the Oscars.
It’s always such a disappointment, so many awards being handed out to people other than Anne. I’m not even going to watch it this year, partly as a result of that manifest unfairness, also because my TV privileges have been withdrawn for six months, for being uppity.
Obviously, I’m not saying She should get all the awards. I suppose that they have to go through the motions of giving a
few of the prizes to other people, but they
don’t have to make such a fuss about it. They could have a separate ceremony
at, I duuno, 10 in the morning or something and hand out a few things for
best special effects in a foreign-language wildlife documentary and suchlike, then get all that out of the way so they
can devote the evening to honouring Her.
Oh and ‘best’ actor? Really??? I mean, come on. Why not just go out into the street and start handing out awards for best left-over kebab, or most elegant piss stain against the wall? Political correctness gone mad, if you ask me.
Anyway, here are some movie-themed captions. Mostly sci-fi. I love sci-fi. I also love Anne Hathaway. It’s about time I told you that; I’ve been concealing it for too long.
|There’s a shocking plot twist in Arrival. I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t seen the movie, but let’s just say that Amy spends a long time in that suit at one point, and someone starts getting all snarky when she orders him to clean it out.|
|Sneak preview – I’m actually an extra in the sequel, WAOM 2! Well, a part of me is, anyway. Actually, it’s a stain on the sole of one of Tricia’s boots, but I do get a credit.|
|Life support won’t shut down for a day or two. So you’ll have the time to make the place tidy.|
|If he was a bit brighter, he might have wondered why the deck his pod is on is called “Cargo Deck 3”. But he’s a man and men can be distressingly unobservant.|
|Actually, some of them have small speaking roles. Mostly crying and begging for mercy.|