those we worship – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Contemplating the Devine

Impressively, one of the top search terms from visitors to this blog is a spelling mistake. So this is a special post to celebrate the tens of thousands of pageviews by ‘readers’ who cannot spell the word ‘divine’.

Welcome, guys (I think we can safely assume the gender balance of this particular sample swings heavily male). Just thought I should give you a shout out…you’ve been slowly typing the wrong word into Google for so many years now. Yay! Morons.

I’m aware of course that many of my ‘readers’ may not be native English speakers, so calling these people morons is unnecessarily insulting and might not be entirely fair. But – DUH! – this is a blog for males who enjoy being unnecesarily insulted and treated unfairly – remember? Morons.

Hey, guys, you know you should try booking a schoolboy session with one of those severe English schoolteacher dommes some time? You’d be really good at it. Take some cold cream for the journey home.

On with the devine imiges…

Oooh! ‘Not as bad as it just conceivably might have been’? Wow, that’s the nicest thing any woman’s ever said to me after sex. Usually, they just say something along the lines of “Sorry – would you mind moving a bit further down the carriage?”. which I find very hurtful.

Males don’t really need lobotomies, truth be told. Still, if it makes the little woman happy, you might as well let her have her way, hmm?

In the end, she just went for a more direct approach.

Yum.

Whimper.

Charmful

Some men hope for threesomes. Me, I’m lucky if I get a onesome.

She’s also never owned an umbrella in her life.

He’s not looking forward to childbirth.

The sounds the floor makes are very different from those made by wood planking. But very pleasant, nonetheless.

Their ballroom is world famous.

Unmancipation

When I first started dating my SO, I’d often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh… two, three…maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.

It’s always embarassing when men have to go to what’s basically a girls’ night out, isn’t it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike. Women are just better at social events… it’s because they’ve got more empathy.

Life will be a lot simpler. You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision. Don’t pressure her, OK?

I’m down on my hands and knees. Point me to the broken glass.

Hard-core scorn

Anyway, she can’t chat long. She’s just off to the pet shop. Wants to buy a couple of dogs, apparently.

It’ll be good when you’re married and you can just just be yourself.

I’m gender non-binary. Well.. gender fractional, anyway. About 1/7, my SO reckons.

Forgetfulness?

It’s good to know a domme with a really creative imagination.

Whip service

Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…Oh well, at least you’re still alive, right?

They still call him ‘Fatso’: the name they gave him when he arrived. I think that’s unnecessarily insulting, to be honest.

BDSM can be an excellent way of relieving stress, while also increasing it.

Why does femdom have to be so complicated? Can’t I just have my ‘happy ending’? No? Oh, OK.

There’s lots of animal roleplay – no need to just limit it to ponies and puppies. My SO likes to play ‘annoying bluebottle’ for example. The swatter’s fun, the electric zapper’s edgy but since she started spraying the flyspray into my mouth, I’ll confess I’m finding it harder to get into it.

Managed care

Well, I hope she finds something to amuse herself with while you’re busy with all that.

You get to wear a nightie just like hers, too.

And she has a lot more than ten commandments.

I find I do some of my best thinking over a trestle. I think about stuff a lot when I’m there.

Wow. I think that’s the niceest compliment any girl has ever paid me.

The record shows I took the blows

And did it Her way

Yum. Has it really been a year? How time flies.

No problem. I’ll just go and live out the remainder of my life nursing the ache at the core of my empty existence. Bye.

Actually, if you save up enough of your pocket money, maybe you could… I mean, that would be OK, right? About four months should do it, if you’re careful not to spend money on anything else.

Well, I think it’s outrageous. I mean, she wouldn’t wear a coat that had been made by killing and skinning a human being, would she?

Don’t forget to say gracias. Mucho, mucho gracias, Senora

She’ll tell me what she wants

(what she really really wants).

This is the magnificent Lady Sonia, of course. I’m a several-times client and believe me this is not a joke.

I hope she hurries up. The other guys are waiting. How come they don’t have to ask their wives for money? Huh. I suppose they must have saved out of their allowances.

The photo’s a bit deceptive. It’s actually only a drop of a hundred feet or so. Much less scary than pissing your domme off, anyway – up you go.

Actually, the joke’s on her because I love the humiliation of being considered a loser, like that. So I win! Oh hang on…

Awww… isn’t she sweet?

Strap, shackle and crop

…it wakes me up every time.

…and don’t forget to say a Hail Mary. She’s called Mary.

Very economical.

A good way for a sub to ensure he never says anything disrespectful is to cultivate a habit of only thinking devoutly respectful thoughts. It takes a lot of mental training, but it’s worth it. For a quicker solution, the same effect can be achieved just by beating the crap out of him if he speaks out of turn, or keeping him permanentlty gagged, so most dommes just go with one of those. And really, who are you to argue?

This is Divine Mistress Heather, seen from one of her many very lovely angles.

She has ideas about how to conduct their weekly performance reviews too.

It’s a good thing neither of them’s gay.

Suitable treatment

Ah… the second childhood. I’m looking forward to that.

(sorry)

Therapy can be painful.

Quite a therapeutic theme today. Using boys for anger management makes a lot of sense: it can work off a lot of tension and no one who matters gets hurt.

Little does she know I’m a humiliation freak as well as a service-oriented submissive, so being despised is just all part of the fun!

Hmmm… just noticed that my favourite Tumblr cuandolasmujeresmanden has just disappeared. Damn! I know there’s about a billion femdom image reposting Tumblrs but cuando somehow just managed precisely to match my own perverted tastes . And only posted high quality pictures too. First ‘Femdom Times’ goes into hibernation for ever and now this. Does Tumblr close down ‘adult’ blogs? I must say, I can’t quite see the point, given that there’d still be 999,999,999 of them left.

Grrrr…. If anyone has a particular recommendation feel free to share it in the comments. No blogs with nekkid women, granny porn or really icky things being done to men’s genitals and shown in close-up please. Just good healthy bondage and discipline. And humiliation, contempt and cruelty.