Category: spanking

Brisk and to the point

Obviously, males are perfectly capable of performing useful tasks unsupervised, but in doing so most will struggle with their natural laziness and incompetence.
Seems odd, after putting it off for weeks now to be in such a hurry.
Just do what comes naturally; you’ll be fine. She’ll do all the actual work, anyway.
A little unconventional, for the woman to be the one proposing marriage, but at least you’re in the traditional position, down on your knees.
In all seriousness (for this blog), I’ve often wondered about this. I mean, when I session with a domme, she’s always very firm about timings, confirmation and so on. Must be much harder for sex workers who can’t just order their clients about… maybe another reason for all female sex workers to go into domination, I suppose.
Another sub who doesn’t need to do anything, while other people do all the work. We’ve really got it made, haven’t we?

Power and glory

For ever and ever…

The star jumps are the worst part.
Oi – don’t you know it’s rude to listen in on other people’s phone calls? It’s the taste of her shoes you’re paying for, not her private life.
It would have been a messy divorce. This solution is much neater.
Cum is actually quite healthy – very low fat. Just ask anyone who’s had to try to survive on a diet of nothing else.
Oh well, it’ll make a refreshing change to stand in a different corner afterwards.
My own wedding night was exhausting, I have to confess. 60 guests can leave a lot of mess.

Denying agency

This is a concept from ethical philiosophy, apparently, that involves treating someone as a child, unable to make decisions for themselves. I must say, it sounds rather nice, but I myself have never specifically been denied agency, because I have never dared ask for it.

On we go.

One of the secrets of a happy marriage: hinted at right there. It’s not that there will never be arguments – obviously all couples have them – just that they be treated as ‘tantrums’.
She allows her boys an average of 10 orgasms a year – so this treatment doesn’t happen very often.
That’s the only downside of castration: it can lead to a loss of important male functions, such as feeling unbearable pain.
Don’t worry: if you’re not enjoying it, just tell her, OK? She likes to know.
Pretentious? Ich?
It can be quite hard to break ingrained habits, so don’t worry if you don’t manage it on your own. Once you’re married, she can help – the two of you are a team from now on, after all.

Animate objects

…who are also subjects.

Ooo… ‘the wrong sort of pain’. Never pleasant. My SO says the way to handle it is to accept there are no wrong sorts of pain, and I can’t argue with that.
Notice how she said ‘please’? See, you can be treated like dirt and still receive a modicum of respect. She says ‘Thank you, darling’ occasionally too, although that usually means ‘Shut up.’, particularly when said in public.
Actually, sleep scientists say that an early bedtime can be extremely beneficial for health. Oh yes, and I read somewhere as well that spanking scientists say… now where was that article?
It’s actually only marginally less comfortable than an economy seat on most airlines and arguably (if you’re of the sex permitted to argue) more so on Ryanair.
It’s odd, but when you’ve been locked in chastity for a month, it’s hard for a woman to do anything that isn’t breath-takingly erotic. Including refusing to unlock you, ironically enough.

Thirty years of hurt (but this time with Lionesses)

So, after all these years of being told that football’s just a silly game in which a bunch of moronic boys chase a ball around in a field and surely I’m not asking to be allowed to put the ironing off just to watch that nonsense, apparently it’s a remarkable display of female skill, grace and power. Who knew? Well, my SO did, obviously, and now I do because she’s told me and that’s that.

Personally I’m not so much interested in the football itself as in the players’ muddy boots and sweaty socks in the fact that we are now officially all allowed to cheer ourselves silly(er) for a team called ‘The Lionesses’. That I do like, rather a lot.

It’s coming home. Unless the Lionesses lose on Sunday, obviously, in which case it’s going somewhere else. [UPDATE: They did. It is.]

Anyway, back to the depressing porn.

He did start by getting down on one knee, but it wasn’t enough.
I find the most effective humiliation scenes are the unexpected ones – for instance, when you think you’re just going on a vanilla date, but the woman intuitively senses that you’re into humiliation, so mocks and belittles you in front of your friends, then slaps you and walks off laughing, leaving you to pay the bill. Yeah, that’s a good one. How do they know?
She has some lederhosen for you, seeing as you’ve expressed such an interest in leather.
See how Mistress Vixen is keeping a straight back, there? That’s very important: it’s so easy to develop back problems in later life if you don’t sit right. Very sensible.

I have posted this before, but ‘too few’ is always the number of times I have done that, so here’s the lovely Mistress Vixen playing the piano.

Yeah, you can relax now the ceremony’s over and just enjoy the honeymoon – and the rest of your life.

Feminine tuition

Men can learn a lot from women, especially if they are willing to step out of their comfort zones and bend over to learn something new.

Certainly not heartless – as a matter of fact she applies herself to her work with full-hearted passion, as you might discover.
I started experiencing periods of impotence soon after meeting my SO – apparently it happens to a lot of men. Pleading sometimes helps.
It’s a long-standing tradition so I hope you’ll approach it – and her – with due respect.
OK, that’s cleared that up. Still doesn’t explain why they all call you ‘Seaman’ though, as that rank hasn’t been used in almost a century.
To remember him, she kept a little spiked penis ring she’d had made for him with the words “Mistress Anne is my goddess not a sex fantasy” engraved around it, but she had to put it away in a drawer as it kept making her feel sad.

Intelligences greater than man’s

“minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic...”

It’s a science fiction special.

Actually, he doesn’t even need to access the control software. All the sexbots that can have dominatrix modes enabled come with a safeword on a piece of paper, at the bottom of the box . Unfortunately, the makers imagined their customers reading the instructions leaflet all the way through at the start of the unpacking process, then carefully following the recommended procedure, step by step. Rather than just tearing it open, ignoring the leaflet and powering their new toy up straight away. Forgetting, in short, that their customers were male and unlikely to have a female assisting in the unpacking process of this particular product. Oh well. Think of it as a learning opportunity.

You want to watch out for those dominatrix sex robots…

Girls cosplay Star Trek for the futuristic vision and for the strong character development, boys for the miniskirts and boots.
Galactic law says that a superior species like theirs has to respect the customs of the planet they invade – and that is what they are doing. Just not the human inhabitants’ customs. Spiders live here too… who’s to say we’re right and they’re wrong?
They say that great inventors are rarely appreciated in their own time. Which is not the case here: these two seem to be very appreciative of the technological breakthrough this chap has produced.
As I always say, there’s nothing girls can do that boys can’t, as long as it is explained slowly enough using simple words, and it’s understood that we’ll probably fuck it up.

Incidentally, in the ‘other’ universe Artemis 9 made a flawless re-entry (female pilots…) but there was an unfortunate misunderstanding when the (tragically male) President greeted the returning heroines. In fairness, everyone agreed that he did have a very slappable face.

Relationships founded on respect

 Not mutual respect, obviously.  No fun in that.



Go on, it’s an opportunity to show off your strength.  Girls like that.



An optional 150% service charge will be added to his bill, but of course it’s entirely at her discretion.




I don’t think ‘we’ are going to be doing a lot of talking, except of the begging and pleading variety.  Same as usual.



There are penalties for average scores below ‘B’ and rewards for slaves receiving an overall ‘A’, although no one has ever found out what those rewards might be.  This guy here is averaging a ‘G’, but then he is very experienced and well-trained so it’s not surprising he’s doing so well.




We were bent over the desk, dreading every stroke, I think, if I remember rightly – and wondering why we can’t just enjoy normal sex, like normal people do.

True love’s first slap

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.

Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else.  Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her.  I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.

I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers?  You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not?  That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?

Oh.  OK then.

 

You could cavil at the poor quality of the photo, but this is Mistress Ardenne so even a blurry photo is more beautiful than 99.999999999999% of things on the planet.  Long retired, I’m sure, so don’t even ask, OK?

 

 

Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot!
 
 

My SO says the same: apparently it’s ‘easier’ to leave me locked up.  Personally, I’ve never had any real difficulties masturbating (except when my penis is locked in a tube, or I’m in tight bondage or agonising pain, that is) so I don’t really see why that should be but I don’t doubt she’s right.  For one thing ‘doubting she’s right’ is #255 on the list of forbidden activities, just 243 places below masturbation itself.




Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.”




Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together.  Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare.




Savage elegance

… and elegant savagery too.  Both are good.

 

She’s being remarkably patient with you, but patience has its limits you know.

 

 

I’m not sure it’s entirely sensible to assign such an important task to someone who is obviously completely unqualified and inexperienced.  Those plants need just the right amount of water: too much and they drown, too little and they dry out.

 


He’ll have plenty of opportunity to think about it, which is just as well, given he is male.

 

 

Poor Treasure… I’m sure she is wracked with paroxysms of guilt.  Maybe she needs a kiss and a cuddle, hmm?
 

 

 

Girl talk… good thing the guys have got more important things to be getting on with, than sitting around listening to her prattle on.
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