sissy – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Prank-mags

Some more very bad attempts to create magazine covers. Just ignore me and I’ll probably stop doing this, out of embarassment, sooner or later.

AFM has already been mentioned in several captions in the blog, so I thought I’d give ‘readers’ a glimpse of what it looks like. Frankly, once you’ve seen one issue you’ve pretty much seen them all, I think, although remarkably it’s now in its seventeenth year of publication. It just goes to show, as I always like to say (when I can’t think of any other way of finishing a comment off).

They always have a celebrity interview but, like the divine Ms Kidman’s in this issue, it’s usually disappointingly short.

It’s a top-shelf magazine, of course, mainly so that laughably short sissies have to blushingly ask a big tall man (or, if they’re very lucky: woman) to reach it down for them.

Serving her right

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to practise. And she’s happy to help you learn from your mistakes: it’s part of her job as your wife, as she sees it.

Yeah, it’s just pain. If the pain doesn’t work she’ll try inflicting permanent damage plus – obviously – a whole lot more pain. She can cope with all of it; she’s very strong.

OK! And according to her spreadsheet, the next scheduled release should be… hmm… yesterday. Perhaps she forgot. So much for all that mathematical accuracy, eh?

I had an abscess – horrible business. And unlike the nice wife in this caption, my SO wouldn’t let me go to the dentist straight away – said she wanted to enjoy it for a few days. Still, I can’t begrudge her her little pleasures; she does so much for me.

It can be tempting for dommes to use sissy submissives for all their routine business needs, but when dealing with IT matters it’s always best to bear in mind that they’re empty-headed little ninnies with the analytical skills of a blancmange.

The divine Lexi Sindel there, along with some of her property.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

“I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost.

“I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”

A typically uplifting sentence from Mr Dickens there. Actually, I have been developing my own version of his classic tale. Titled ‘A Findomme Carol’, it has a similar story arc but the heroine, Princess Screw-you, isn’t such a soft touch as Dickens’s Scrooge. Like his tale, though, it has a happy ending, celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, which as we all know is ‘getting’.

But for this year, ho ho ho, it’s just a few captions with a rather tenuous and even desperate link to the holiday season. Bah humbug.

…and as it’s Christmas, here’s a bonus image, from the series OWK Ladies remember…

Owning him

When your Mistress is a perfect 10, it’s only fair that you have to be graded too.

And we don’t ‘bob’ so much as immerse and hold down.

Oh, if there is one Lady I’d love to see again, it is Lady Sophia Black. She lit our lives up like a, like a… hmm… comet? No, something brighter. Like a flamethrower, then retired too soon, too too soon.

She’s focused on what’s important in the relationship and you should be too.

That’s an interesting question – let me ask you one in return, preferably on my knees, with my paws up like a begging dog.

He has an excellent retirement plan and one day she might tell him what it is.

She also likes to play “this little piggie”, especially the bit about shrieking all the way home.

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.

This lady’s not planning to go fishing. She’s already caught enough for her immediate needs.

Actually, that’s not quite correct. The relationship is working for Trevor… and will do, right up to the end.

He’s looking forward to a harmonious married life, in which the housework is done with a perky smile, there’s no nonsense about taking financial decisions together and every comfort and care of the Head of Household is attended to. So’s she.

Fortunately, if she does decide to sell them anyway, even in their distressingly clean state, online purchasers of used panties rarely if ever complain to Trading Standards authorities.

You can actually communicate even quite complex concepts eventually in ‘bimbo’ speech mode, but you might have to suck a lot of cock on the way.

That’s actually something you have to ask for specifically, at the OWK. But he shouldn’t hold back. Most of the Ladies will be perfectly happy to deal with any guest who wants to have sex with them and some of them might even invite other Ladies to join in the fun.

You know how you feel at the iron gripe of ruthless oppression…

… you know how you bear the galling sneer of contumelious greatness.

Robert Burns said that. And how right he was, despite being a man. “Contumelious” was new to me: it means an “insulting display of contempt in words or actions; contemptuous or humiliating treatment.” How weird at my age to learn a new word for something I have adored for so long.

The next time I email a domme requesting a session I must remember to ask for ‘contumelious’ treatment. I’m sure she’d be impressed and give me exactly the treatment I need.

Don’t worry – I’m sure she doesn’t mean you.*

Ah, now I’m afraid I can’t go along with this. Consent is the alpha and omega in a BDSM relationship – never forget that. A few times early in my relationship I withheld consent when my SO was about to punish me and she got bloody furious, believe me. I won’t be making that mistake again.

She missed a trick, there: should have translated it into millimetres. Then it’s quite an impressive number: almost into double figures.

Tsk… no one’s even bothered to clean them. How can she stand putting them on her feet?

What men’s libbers don’t seem to realise is that in being so annoying, they’re reinforcing precisely the stereotypes about male behaviour they get so upset about. But then, if they weren’t so stupid, they probably wouldn’t be libbers in the first place, would they? I think most of them just need to be taken firmly in hand.

* No really. You’re quite different; so you can appreciate this kind of caption ironically, rather than feeling insulted. Anyway, you only read the blog for the jokes, right?

Entzückende

As you’ve probably noticed, this blog features ‘themed posts’ on a Sunday. Well, I… what do you mean you haven’t noticed? You don’t just come here to look at the pretty women and wank, do you? This is supposed to be a conversation between me, the artist, and you sitting there, with your trousers down around your…

OK, well anyway, not exactly a themed post today but I noticed I was doing more and more captions, defacing the lovely image of a lady called Nicola Cavanis, so I thought I’d do a special on her, give her her own tag and so on. I expect she’ll be rather pleased, don’t you?

Remarkably, for a young lovely whose photos are all over the Internet, she appears not to be Russian.