Fiercely feminine

Take it from me as a long-serving married man, you really don’t want to discuss it.  Let alone ‘discuss’ it.

 

 

 

Obviously.

 

There’s a thin line between chivalry and criminal sexism but fortunately we have women to help police that line – and run the re-education camps for anyone who teeters over it.

 

 

 

He’s just a bit nervous about getting married… which is silly, really, when you think about it.

 

 

 

Actually, the entire blog is literally nothing but a lot of fuss over a little smacked bottom.  With wholly inadequate thinking time set aside for it.


 

Dungeon crawlers

 

Many subs don’t realise how much work a good domme will put into preparing for a session.  Here, the lovely Lady Jana went to all of the trouble of looking up the translation of an obscure English word – just to make sure his experience was exactly as he had specified – and all he could do afterwards was moan about it.  Well, I think it was that he was moaning about, anyway. 

Another ungrateful subbie.  Seems to be something of a theme today.  I mean, quite apart from the sexual gratification he is getting, the value of all that learning is quite literally incalculable.

 

 

 

Now this one at least appears to have the right attitude: asking nicely, saying please and thank you.  And he has his reward, see?

 

Don’t worry if you find it difficult at first: the game of ‘fetch’ might appear simple, but it has hidden complexities.  I’ve been playing it together with my SO almost every Sunday afternoon for years now, and I still often get it wrong – as she can readily confirm.


 

 

Which is odd, because from my own personal experience (again – and I don’t want to over-generalise, so let me emphasise this is just me): in my own relationship, ‘No’ is about the most reckless and unsafe word it is possible for me to say.

 

 

 

 

Contemptuous liaisons

 

Looks like only one person in this relationship is making any effort.  That’s not a formula for long-term happiness.


 

 

Why are so many women so imprecise when it comes to numbers?  They say things like “only for a few hours” , “in a few weeks’ time”, “a few dozen, and then maybe the same on your thighs”…  when did ‘few’ start to have such painful connotations?

 

 

 

She’s a perfectionist.  I hope you are, too.

 

 

 

The teddy bear is only a temporary expedient while she buys you a blow-up sex doll.  She’s just trying to choose between the ‘Sven’ and ‘Muscle Man’ models.

 


She makes a compelling argument, you have to admit.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Well-ordered

 

You’ll find her arguments compelling, I guarantee it.

 

 

 

 

 

I know that some subs who are subject to strict speech rules rather resent them, but personally I really can’t complain.

 

 

 

 

That Clause 17(b) is a tricky one, particularly as it is written in an obscure regional dialect of Czech.  But it’s very useful.

 

 

 


And if you want something to take your mind off the pain, try letting yourself be overwhelmed by the frustration of a lifetime in chastity.  See – it’s a kind of virtuous circle.




Or higher.  Whatever.

 

Tender moments

I am in their loyalty programme.  I get to pay more when I book flights, as I accumulate points they demand ever more expensive gifts and on board I am treated with extra contempt.

 

 

I expect you’ll want to evaluate this proposition quite carefully.  I mean, that’s a lot of money to lend someone you barely know, just on the strength of… on the strength of… sorry, what were we talking about?

 

 

 

I can multi-task!  I can flounce and simper, both at the same time. 

 

 

 

 

As story-writers say, don’t tell: show.

 

Oh, I don’t know.  There are advantages.  For one thing, it’s not one of those wildly unrealistic fetishes that’s completely divorced from real life.  For example, I am actually a lazy, worthless and sexually unattractive male, deserving the contempt the women I know barely bother to conceal.  So I can live the dream, so to speak.


 

Graceful brutality

 

 

Funny how many girls make that mistake.


 

 

Sounds like they’ve got some lost time to make up for.

 

 

I remember early in our relationship, my SO ordering me to bring her a whip for my impertinence.  I told her I didn’t think I had said anything impertinent that deserved a whipping and she laughed and said I just had.  It seemed a little unfair to me, but I didn’t want to argue about it and ruin the mood.

 

 

 

I’m afraid it won’t make you taller, though: that’s just one of those myths. I mean, maybe your spine will be longer by an inch or so at most, but since you won’t be able to walk with all the joints in your limbs dislocated, it won’t bring you any real benefits.  

 

Like many Hollywood stars, she keeps her private relationships carefully out of the media’s eye.

 

Traditional crop-wielding ladies

 

Not a problem: premium cat food doesn’t actually taste as nice as the adverts imply.  In fact, in tests I understand eight out of ten slaves said they preferred to go hungry than be forced to eat it… but why should anyone care about that?

 

 

Which is odd, because women are supposed to be good at empathy.


 

Having said which, these two – while not exactly exhibiting empathy I’ll admit – are certainly very concerned to ensure fair treatment of all of the prisoners.  Which is nice.

 

 

 

She does use him for sex, but only in a facilitative capacity.

 

 

 

And I’m very persuadable.  I’ll even pay for it.


Stable relationships

 

Maybe when the two of you are married, you can talk to her about being less cruel to poor dumb animals.


Well, she should have been clearer. It took me ages…



No spoilers, now!



Don’t worry, you’ll soon warm up after Lady Sarah arrives.



He only discovered about her fetishes after the marriage.  She has quite a few. The ones not involving inflicting pain on older men are mostly about girlfriends and money.

Graceless, Feckless, Aimless and Pointless

… that’s me.  But also characters in a novel by the divine Stella Gibbons which contains little if any femdom, I’ll admit, although Kate Beckinsale takes a rather firm hand with people in an entirely non-kinky way in the movie.

Now: something nasty from the woodshed.

She’s actually strictly vanilla. Very strictly.




I feel you ought to say something about this.




Oh, I hate mandatory penile minimum rules, don’t you?  It started out just with the nightclubs, and I can understand that, but I took my suit to the dry cleaners the other day, they insisted on a measurement and they wouldn’t take my suit unless I scrubbed and ironed for four hours, just for being four inches below the required minimum length!  It doesn’t seem fair.




Don’t make Mommy use her cattleprod, now!



There are no ‘problems’, only solutions.


One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

To celebrate Bastille Day, let’s have some more Regency femdom. The tumbrels and republican principles of the Revolution itself do not lend themselves well to the theme (although I always felt a vague kinship with the sans-culottes) but on the other side of the Channel, the natural order was maintained.
 
Of course, these are merely modern ‘takes’ on the period. Fashions in femdom at the time were rather different and would seem strange to us today.  Humiliation play, for example, might involve acting out being introduced at a ball to a duchess and incorrectly addressing her as if she were a mere viscountess, or using the wrong fork for the fish and being gently and gigglingly admonished (or – worse – subjected to a sustained pretence by one’s dinner companions not to have noticed!  Oh, the shame).  A ‘forced bi’ scenario would typically end with some roleplaying the inevitable appearance before local magistrates, followed by branding or even transportation to Australia* for committing unnatural acts.  And of course the gimp suits of the time were made of wool or coarse cloth -unthinkable today but they knew no better.
 
What’s that?  You want me to shut the fuck up and just show you the pictures of hot chicks in empire-line dresses? Oh, OK then.  Sorry.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
* Generally regarded as a hard limit by most scene players today – and indeed very few dommes are even prepared to try it, although I understand Mistress Servalan of Sydney has ocasionally put on demonstrations at BDSM conventions.
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