marriage – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

An orderly marriage

Without question.

Good. Can’t wait for my consciousness to be raised.

10 is the new 8? You know, just the other week my SO was caning me and I thought we’d finished but she announced that 12 was the new 6! I don’t know… when I learnt maths in school it all seemed a lot simpler than that. You just held your hand out and counted until she was finished.

Actually, the vicar turned up on time and I have to say: he was quite cross to see what was happening on top of his altar! So that was a bit embarassing, but the rest of the wedding day passed off smoothly. The night didn’t go so well, unfortunately, but thank goodness Sven was there too or I think things would really have been difficult.

If I manage to find a copy of the video, I’ll share it with you. I’ve never actually posted a funny cat video – must be the only blog on the Internet not to have done so.

But females are strong as Hell

Unbreakable!

Servitor’s tip: if you are going to propose to your ‘mistress’ during a ‘fem dom’ session, think about which kinky activities are most appropriate to that moment. Face-slapping is a definite yes, forced bi rather less so.

Even if (as we suspect) the switching moment is not just about to occur, all true male doms understand that females are submissive really, deep down inside. Master Mark knows he just needs to wait… eventually the girls are bound to follow their natural instincts.

An old caption. Unless something surprising happens between my putting this into the queue and publication. Which seems unlikely. As surprising things so often are.

It’s always a shock, in mid-life, to discover you’ve actually been gay for some time without even realising it.

I’d rather go bowling with Simon, actually, but what do my opinions matter?

Goodwill to all women

It’s that very special time of year. The holly and the ivy… both actually almost as unpleasant-tasting as all the pine needles I have to eat off the floor, but it’s a tradition and I can’t argue with that.

Nothing particularly Christmassy about today’s captions, though – just the usual rubbish.

I’m going to have a go at writing some snip-lit some day. They say write what you know.

When we engage in medical roleply, my SO likes to use actual medicines. She gets a friend who works in a hospital to give her stuff that they’re throwing out because it’s near its expiry date. Says it makes it more realistic. I don’t suppose there’s any harm in it.

My wife came multiple times on our wedding night, I’m told.

She read somewhere that husbands and wives should always agree on financial decisions, so she wanted to make sure he was OK with it first.


The video basically just consists of cut-scenes. (Sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself)

Domestic tyranny…

… domestic bliss.

They say old age can be like a second childhood.

My SO and I tried something like that but it turned out my boss was gay! Quite an embarassing situation, as you can imagine, but he saw the funny side and actually since then, our working relationship has been closer than ever.

We are.

OK. But always with dignity, yeah?

I think’darling’ must have misread the signals. I don’t have that problem any more, because we only ever go out with my genitals wired up to the electrics. Of course, I don’t get heavy shocks in public but a few little reminders – or an instruction to go off to find a bathroom cubicle for a good zapping – keep me nicely in line. In fact, she’s considering learning morse code.

A man’s place

.. is wherever she puts him.

It did promise to love, honour and obey in sickness and in health, after all. Didn’t it?

Fortunately teachers are allowed to remain standing in class.

Just as long as I don’t have to swap nappies with Petie. I always hate that, don’t you?

I have occasionally paid women for sex, I’ll admit. The very first time I tried it I was really nervous but she said I was very cute and that she’d actually enjoyed the sex! So that was pretty cool. I hope the guy she did it with enjoyed it too – I never met him.

Women are strange. Why lie around in what is obviously sexually arousing lingerie, when I’m locked up in a spiked cage? Honestly, you’d think they’d have more sense.

Inspiring contempt

It probably wasn’t intentional – just one of those things, you know? No point making a big deal of it.

Don’t worry, she said ‘yes’ the second time around. And then she charged for her presence at the marriage ceremony at session rates – rather a sweet touch, don’t you think?

Yes, that should help take your mind off it. I think she’d like a back-rub too, if you don’t mind.

Many new husbands find it difficult at first, now they have to discuss things with someone else instead of just deciding for themselves. But it’s actually part of the joy of marriage. My SO, for example, prefers that I discuss with her before taking important decisions such as speaking, getting up from my knees or leaving her presence and – to be honest – I can hardly imagine how I managed before.

No problem – I’ve got both on speed-dial.

Being the best she can make me

You know, there are whole ‘pick-up artist’ sites that are all about how to get women to take their panties off, but none of them have hit upon this very simple technique. It’s just about understanding her needs, really.

I would. I wonder what it would have felt like.

Going to be a long, hot summer.

More women suffer from having excessively deep vaginas than many men realise – almost everyone I’ve been on a date with has had that problem, remarkably.

It’s a form of ‘one woman one vote’ system.

Further details available here.

You make a grown man cry

Don’t worry: Janine would never let you be eaten by some cat on the street. She has her own cat whom she loves dearly.

You can buy her gifts too. Lots of them, to make sure there are at least a few she’ll like.

This is the wonderful, clever and creative Lady Sophia Black, who has occasionally had the bad luck to encounter Servitor in person, but managed to come out smiling an evil smile the other side. She is – needless to say – not at all like the personality depicted in the caption.

It’s going to be kind of like the Revenant but without clothes. Or the bear. And shorter.

I read a men’s lib magazine once when I was a teeanger – it was being passed around the boys at school, you know. I didn’t understand much of it, but it suggested that readers try to discuss some of the ideas in it with the women in their lives, so I asked one of my sisters and she explained it to me at length.

That’s the trouble with marriage problems – one day you think everything’s fine, that you’re in love and nothing can ever disturb that: then before you know it you’re hanging naked on a meat hook about to be castrated. You woinder where it went wrong, you know? The important thing to remember is that it’s all your fault.

Marriage service

The marriage is still going to be based on respect – a lot of respect. It’s just not going to be mutual.

It’s actually quite enlightening, being lent out to former, vanilla, girlfriends. There’s all sorts of things you discover you did, or said, during the relationship that you’ve long since forgotten but they’re eager to discuss.

Of course, she can’t expect perfection, and she doesn’t. She just requires it, that’s all.

The other lady has the rings ready – and he’s already been pierced, so they can just be welded on.

I was still being spanked by my mother at home when I met my first girlfriend, actually. She was one of my sister’s friends who’d come round to do some homework, and she came downstairs to find out what all the noise was about.

I’m just wild about Harry

No, not Archie’s dad. Her. I always have been. Rapture!

But no captioned images of the divine Mistress Deborah, I am afraid, as the available ones tend to be fuzzy vid-caps. Just the usual sort of thing, you know.

But only if you want to, obviously.

The anaestheologist is very skilled in pain management, so there’s no need to worry.

And don’t imagine there’ll be any ankles nakedly on display or anything lewd of that nature!

She’s got some suitable things for you to wear too.

They’re also going to have a little practice the day before, to make sure everything goes smoothly on the big day. Just on a bit of you that no one will notice.