Category: leather

Memories, reposted for technical reasons*

Yes, it’s time for more of those highly inaccurate (and entirely made-up) reminiscences by the very first contingent of Ladies from the Other World Kingdom. Blatant homage or affectionate rip-off? Or should that be the other way around? You decide. Or don’t, if you’d rather not.

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* Apologies – not a new post. For a long time I have been getting 4-5 obviously automated and spammy comments per day, all of them on this post which was published on June 15th. I don’t want to restrict commenting, so I have been deleting them manually. But it’s getting worse and today I got about 30. All on the one post… which is pretty f***ing stupid even for an algorithm.

Some of the generic messages are actually quite funny, given the content of the blog and the post below especially. e.g. “My co-workers think I’m wasting too much time reading this blog, but it gives me so much useful information for my life.” I’d certainly like to have seen the spammer who designed the algorithm spend some time in the OWK

Captive audience

Or one that would like to be so.

It just goes to show what I always say: that few marital problems can be resolved satisfactorily by cowering away in terror in a cupboard hoping she doesn’t find you.
Don’t worry: nobody’s expecting you to do anything much. They’ll do all the work, just leave it to them.
Probably just a breath mint. My SO receives monthly deliveries of a particularly effective brand of breath mints, with some long and complicated scientific name, from Myanmar. I’ve been taking one a day since soon after we got married and it’s never done me any harm, unlike many other things in our marriage.

Of course, there’s no need to discuss her expectations about you. Those are minimal, at best.

This is the fabulously beautiful and no doubt all-round fabulously fabulous Lady Perse, well worth visiting if you are in Warsaw or even if you are not. Needless to say (but I am conscious most of my readers are male, so even the blindingly obvious may need pointing out), the caption I have put on her divine image in no way represents her actual session practices, which I am sure are safe, sane, consensual and fabulous.

‘Something’? What kind of something? Why are the ladies in these captions so maddeningly unclear?

Bending to her will

Let’s hope Julie’s not still upset about that bad performance review.  Sometimes feedback can be unpleasant and hard to take – but it just has to be accepted. I hope she understands that.
Remember you’re an individual: you’re not defined entirely by what’s written on your collar.
Ah, teenage masturbation!  Goodness, that seems so long ago now.  How lucky I am that my SO has put all that well and truly behind me.
The boots are a lot tastier than the airline food.
The female orgasm can be a mysterious – and very painful – thing.

Relationships founded on respect

 Not mutual respect, obviously.  No fun in that.



Go on, it’s an opportunity to show off your strength.  Girls like that.



An optional 150% service charge will be added to his bill, but of course it’s entirely at her discretion.




I don’t think ‘we’ are going to be doing a lot of talking, except of the begging and pleading variety.  Same as usual.



There are penalties for average scores below ‘B’ and rewards for slaves receiving an overall ‘A’, although no one has ever found out what those rewards might be.  This guy here is averaging a ‘G’, but then he is very experienced and well-trained so it’s not surprising he’s doing so well.




We were bent over the desk, dreading every stroke, I think, if I remember rightly – and wondering why we can’t just enjoy normal sex, like normal people do.

True love’s first slap

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.

Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else.  Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her.  I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.

I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers?  You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not?  That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?

Oh.  OK then.

 

You could cavil at the poor quality of the photo, but this is Mistress Ardenne so even a blurry photo is more beautiful than 99.999999999999% of things on the planet.  Long retired, I’m sure, so don’t even ask, OK?

 

 

Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot!
 
 

My SO says the same: apparently it’s ‘easier’ to leave me locked up.  Personally, I’ve never had any real difficulties masturbating (except when my penis is locked in a tube, or I’m in tight bondage or agonising pain, that is) so I don’t really see why that should be but I don’t doubt she’s right.  For one thing ‘doubting she’s right’ is #255 on the list of forbidden activities, just 243 places below masturbation itself.




Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.”




Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together.  Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare.




Pretty woman don’t make me cry

What’s that?  Oh, I ticked ‘make me cry’ on the session negotiation form?  Oh yes, so I did.  Sorry, my mistake: go ahead then.

 

Just hand me the lipstick and stand aside, little lady.  I got this.



Very public-spirited of them to help out, I say.

 

You might worry that if she just gets high grades without effort, she might end up with no skills and in a low-wage dead-end career.  Don’t worry: she’s developing lots of skills and her future in a high-paying professional career is almost guaranteed.




What, did you think she just… I dunno… abducted guys and skinned them in her basement? You’ve been reading too much lurid fantasy.  Relax, OK?


I wonder why she went too far like that?  She’s supposed to be a professional.





 

 

 

 


A kiss on the boot

 …may be quite deferential.  But diamonds…


Double what he himself would normally have to pay, that is.  So about six times the going rate for a ‘normal’ client.  But he does get to keep the shoes and ‘normal’ clients don’t get to keep the lady, so I guess he’s ahead.




Very directly.  She’d appreciate short and truthful answers too and frankly you are likely to be gasping and crying out too much to think of (still less articulate) anything complicated.

I think she should just get on with it.  A few little buzzes and he’ll almost certainly find that he agrees with her – on this and on everything.




Probably something to do with swimming. Maybe you can ask her about it later – but I’m sure you’ll both have better ideas for how to spend your wedding night than reliving old school memories.



I think the phrase he’s looking for is “Ma’am yes Ma’am!”.


Shocking untruths

Communication is at the heart of a healthy relationship, especially if it’s all in one direction.

 

 

 

Always bring a sissy when you’re dogging.  It’s nicer for the guys as well, if they fancy swinging both ways. Or just hitting someone.


 

Don’t worry: that doctor won’t lie on an official medical form, just because she asks him to.  Only if Lucy asks.  He’s hers, you see. 

 

She’s free and single and yet you’re neither.  But who said life had to be fair?



I’ve half a mind to complain.


 

Sweet surrender

 

It’s basically harmless: it’s just in a cage to keep it from getting into trouble, that’s all.

 

 

 

Life-long learning.  Apparently we’ll all be doing that in the future, which sounds very exciting.

 

 

 

No, nothing.

 

 

 

 

Happiest day of your life they say.  OK, that’s not always true but it does seem certain there will be a great many days after this one that are thoroughly unhappy, so it’s quite an accurate description.


Oh well.  She tried.  Now she’ll try something else.


 

Blonde justice

And if she gets what she wants, you might get what you want.  Or you might not.

 

 

 

 

Erm… oh, I’ve got one!  “What do you say to a blonde disciplinarian with a tawse when you’re strapped across her ugly whipping bench vaulting horse?  Nothing: you just scream and cry out hysterically in between gasps for breath!”  Well… she finds it funny.  Mildly amusing, anyway.

 

 

 

She doesn’t want to, and yet…

 

 

 

 

Don’t worry – she’s very imaginative, so it’s only going to be on the rarest occasions that you’ll have to fall back on the boring old trope of male ejaculation.

 



I’d expected this was going to lead to an uncomfortable conversation but it seems she’s decided to skip the conversation part.



 

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