humiliation – Page 36 – Contemplating the divine

Taking her hand in marriage

If you’re lucky. If you’re unlucky, you might have to take the cane as well.

On we go.

I wonder if they have a ‘bring your daughter to work’ day, too?

Best not to look nervous at this point. Just relax. I’m sure she’s very broadminded.

The only thing worse than being locked up in chastity is being in chastity and not locked up, I think you’ll find.

That’s a relief.

Don’t even mention little blue men. Unless you want Victoria to cane you. Do you? Oh…OK. Well, go ahead then.

When the godesses wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

True on so many levels.

I hope you had a good Christmas. I don’t know whether I did or not, as I wrote this post and ‘scheduled’ it weeks in advance.

In any case, the real Servitor was long ago laid off and the caption-writing outsourced to Bangladesh, where teams of underpaid workers assemble femdom-themed attempts at erotica and wit using cast-offs from other, more interesting, sites. Sad, but true – like everything else on this blog.

Don’t worry if you can’t fill it. Just ask one of the other men standing alongside you. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Boyfriends! The curse of the sissy sub’s life. Still, I suppose someone has to play the football.

It’s good that she’s not letting these petty irritations affect her work. No messing about, just getting on with it. That’s the way.

Ah, the majesty of the legal system.

“Servitor” is nice, I’ve often thought.

A lucky break

Hi Sweetie! Listen, I met
someone you used to work with, last night.
I mean, before you lost your job. One of Rob’s friends. Brad – somebody? Yes, that’s right. Tall guy, very good-looking. Was he in your team? Did he?
Wow, hard to imagine you being his boss.

Anyway, he’s got your old job, now. Well – sort of. They’ve expanded it a bit, given him two
extra divisions to manage I think.
They’re doing really well!
He said you weren’t very good at winning
business because clients found you a bit creepy, or something like that. Funny what a difference these little things make! Oh, and apparently your team never liked you much. But with him in charge, all that’s
changed! Isn’t that great?

Anyway, I was telling him you’ve been unemployed all this
time, and how desperate you are for work, and that you’re looking for opportunities – and guess what he said!

Apparently, he needs a cleaner! Three hours a day, you know to pick up around
his apartment and do the dishes and his laundry and things like that. And he’ll pay 25% over minimum wage – because
he says he’s really messy! He told Rob that anyone who’d handwash his dirty socks deserved at least a 25% bonus over minimum wage. He’s such a funny guy – had us all laughing all evening.

Well, of course I said you’d love to! So maybe you can pop round today, and he can
show you where all the things are.

Oh –
and it gets better. He said he’d ask around at work, to see if anyone else needs laundry doing
or something! They’re all really busy,
and the company gave them all huge bonuses last year, so he reckons there’s a
good chance! He even had this brilliant business idea! You could do laundry for the whole team – you know, just pop into your old office two or three times a week and pick it up from anyone who has anything for you, then deliver it all again, all clean and neatly ironed, a day or two later. Wasn’t he clever to think of something like that! Maybe that’s why he’s so much more successful than you were.

Wasn’t that lucky! He’s
really nice, actually. I hope he’s there
again tonight.

Famous for more than 15 minutes

Oh hey! How are
you! Wow, I guess I haven’t seen you
since –

Well, yeah. I guess
you could call it ‘that’ date. The date
from hell, huh?

Oh but look, I’m kinda glad I ran into you. I mean, you must have some pretty awful
memories from that night – I mean the way you were crying when I threw you out
and stuff aaaand I just didn’t want to leave it like that without, well –

– without telling you how much blog traffic I got when I posted about it!

I mean, really.
“Impotent crybaby” just got more traffic than anything else I’ve ever
published. And when I put up another
post – you know, about how you said maybe you could get hard if only you could
sniff my trainers – well, wow! I mean,
my blog’s been like, in the top 1000 ever since.

You’re even an internet meme. Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, you must have seen it.
You put up a picture of some – like – total catastrophe, like an
earthquake or something and then you write “But maybe if I can sniff your
smelly trainers, it’ll all be OK?”

Didn’t you realise that was you? “Needy fucked up loser”. That’s you! You’re a star.

Oh my god! Are you
crying again? Hold on, let me get my
phone. I have got to take a photo this time!

Where are you going?
Hey come back!

Oh don’t be a spoilsport! I just wanna… I –

Hey!

I have trainers in my bag!
And I went running this morning.
You want me to – ?

That’s right. Trainers. Smelly old stinky trainers.

That’s better.

OK, we’ll start with you kneeling down there. No, there. That’s right.

Look up at the camera, honey. No – don’t dry your eyes. And now up at the bag where the trainers are…that’s
right. How much do you want them? Hmm?
How much? Show me how much you
want them. Because you won’t get them
unless I see those tears flow, asshole.

That’s right. Oh
boy. Youtube fame, here I come.

Slap happy

You know what you deserve… but here are some pervy pictures instead.

Oh I do hope I get to wear that one.

And paying them for it. And thanking them afterwards. And then in a few months doing it all again. Here, in my case.

And this? I mean – do we have to put up with this sort of thing? Yes.

Actually, slave-fighting’s illegal in most civilised countries. And he can definitely sue if he has his balls bitten off, so really he’s got nothing to worry about.

This image from Tyrannized, like it says. Very good if you like your femdom in bright, primary colours.

I think you’re about to find out how ridiculous you look. And if I know Angie, so’s everyone else.

Speaking strictly

Generally, violence isn’t the solution. But in this case, it probably is, if we’re being honest with ourselves. Not just impertinence, but habitual impertinence, after all.

Why do I find this the scariest captioned photo I have ever posted?

Cool. This could be your lucky break into movies. Maybe when you’ve recovered, you could see about getting an agent?

This of course is Cruella, and the sublime Lady Victoria, from the very first set of magazines after the company was founded. She haunted my adolescence… still does.

Well, she used to, anyway. I think she might have lost it, actually. Doesn’t really matter, but just so you know.

OK, so you’re probably not going anywhere here. Still: you haven’t been rejected as a sad, useless and unattractive excuse for a man… you’ve been rejected as a sad, useless and unattractive excuse for a man by Billie Piper! Huh? Not bad, huh?

Turning points

A bit of a change of pace today. As regular readers will know, Contemplating the Divine is not known for subtlety. Most of the reprehensible material posted here depicts femdom situations that are brutal, non-consensual and occasionally anatomically impossible (click here).

So, let’s try something different for a change. These are captions that are NOT about female domination. Not yet. Each presents the very moment at which a vanilla relationship just might take a more flavourful turn. And then there’s a choice to be made: your choice. The red pill or the blue. Donna can turn left or right. Sure, the choice you make in this situation could lead eventually to life in slavery…but it doesn’t have to. Turning points.

Crying behind the tears

Never mind. They can’t spend the whole two weeks discussing your sexual inadequacies, now can they?

And you can play out ‘small penis humiliation’ scenes even more effectively! You like SPH, right?

Plenty of time. Brain damage sets in quite quickly, but it’s a few minutes after that before any vital organs are affected.

Well, she seems very determined. Just as well, at those hourly rates.

This is of course, the divine Eleise de Lacy, of Femme Fatale fame. Wonderful lady, wonderful site.

Time to pull out that faded old copy of the pre-nup and refresh your memory about some of the other terms she insisted on putting in. I’m fairly sure many of the more painful ones are illegal, though – maybe you could have a word with the learned lady from the previous picture?

Party animal

Oh, hey
loser!

Yeah, I did
want to see you. Imagine that! You, actually talking to me.

Anyway, I
heard you’d been, like, perving around trying to find out about my party, so
you can come to it? But you know, it’s
only, like, for attractive people, so you can’t go?

Well… are
you really desperate to be there?
Really? I mean really desperate?

OK, that’s
pretty pathetic. So I’m going to help
you out.

See, it’s
going to be a real blast. There’s going
to be a lot of guys there, and they’re going to drink a lot and get pretty
blasted and there’ll be, like, drugs and stuff, you know?

So, the
place is going to be pretty trashed, and my folks have said that if I leave it
in that state again, I’m going to be grounded.

So – here’s
the deal. You can come to the party, as
long as you’re not there too early, and as long as you clean up, OK?

How late? Well… I
guess it would be OK for you to arrive by about 3am. Most people should have gone by then.

Anyway, when
you get here, you go to the utility room and you put on an apron and get some
brushes and cloths and things and start cleaning up, OK? There might still be some people partying by
then, but I guess most people will have gone, or they’ll be making out, or just
chilling, you know? You can clean around
them.

So – the
first thing will be cleaning up all the food, and spilt drinks. You can have leftovers, but no alcohol,
OK? You’re a clumsy idiot when you’re sober, so I am not letting you drink. And make sure you get any vomit
up straight away, because that smell can really linger. Scrub at it with a stiff brush and plenty of water.

And you just
keep on cleaning until you’re done. No
vacuum cleaner before I’m up next day, OK?
If that thing wakes me up, I’m going to make you put your cock in it and
put it on turbo. And our vacuum
cleaner’s really powerful, so you don’t want to make me do that. Do not for one second imagine I’m joking.

You’ll have
all day, if you need it, to get it all straight again. My folks are coming back early the day after.

OK, so
you’ll be there tomorrow night? Good.

Well…?

Well? Are you going to thank me for inviting you to my party, you ungrateful little shit?

OK, that’s better. Now fuck off.

Oh – one
thing? If my folks aren’t satisfied with
the way it looks? And I’m grounded? Then I will make you regret that every single
day for the rest of the year. Do not
test me.

And if
anyone asks, tell them I’m paying you to clean, OK? I don’t want them to think I invited
you. In fact, bring some money that I
can hand you as your wages.

OK, you can leave now.

Self-discipline

They say that self-discipline is a very important trait to develop. But it’s just never as good as the real thing, is it?

On we go, burbling and stumbling gradually into total irrelevance.

He was known as a bit of a ball-breaker too, which is actually rather ironic considering what happens to him when the laundry isn’t done to everyone’s satisfaction.

Aren’t they great? ~~This is the Dutch airforce. Well, not all the Dutch air force, obviously.~~ Found on this rather unusual tumblr (I don’t often credit tumblrs, but this is a bit different) http://dommesmilitaire.tumblr.com/ If anyone knows of a country that’s likely to be invaded by ~~the Netherlands~~ in the near future, do let me know, as I think I’d like to be oppressed by these people.

OK, thanks to an anonymous commenter below, I now know this is not the Dutch air force, but the US air force. In Alaska. Not Holland. Well… I was close.

Still, I suppose that will at least make the task of finding a country likely to be invaded by these people a little easier.

Kind of puts things into perspective, don’t you think?

Oh for goodness sake! I’m into femdom because I don’t want to make choices! Why are so many dommes so soft?

This is an image from Cruella, the Lady Victoria – who was presented as the Editrix of their magazines. Of course, that was long ago, before the Internet. 1990 or thereabouts, and I a callow young student, nervously travelling down to London to buy a brown paper bag of magazines… aye, we made our own entertainment in them days, you know.

In some households the husband fucks the maid, too. But not in this one. She doesn’t have the key, anyway.

Bridegroom punishment in female led relationship

Yes, that’ll help get you in the mood to take your weddings vows. Not the wishy-washy ones during the church service. The real ones, just before.