gimp – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Persuasive speech

Ooh! A potential ally. That’s rare: so few women take men’s lib seriously.

You can’t put a price on job satisfaction.

Don’t worry, I’m sure she can’t trace your IP address. Just keep reading Contemplating the Divine… everything’ll be fine.

He doesn’t need to renew his vows to her, of course. I mean, she’s not going to release him from them, or anything.

Oh well. No real harm done. You do look a bit like No. 23, actually – I don’t know whether anyone else has ever mentioned that? But then we all look near-identical… hence the numbers, I suppose.

Goodness me, I remember adoring (and by ‘adoring’, dear readers, I mean surreptitiously masturbating to) the Robert Palmer video of Addicted to Love from which that title is taken, when it first came out in 1985. But generally when I trace my 80’s obsessions (= things I masturbated to) they are blurry messes*, much like my brain at the time. But this has been digitally re-mistressed in HD remarkably well. Worth a look.

Of course, as everyone likes to note, the models in the video were famously unconvincing as musicians. All of them lost the beat at various points (just look at their legs – no hardship that – around 1.25) and the second from the right never seems to have found it (and plays the guitar by tickling it), while the drummer acts as if her drums asked her not to leave any marks, before the session started. Wikipedia says that a musician hired to teach them how to do it gave up after about an hour and left, and rumour has it (but I can’t see it) that if you look really closely you can see them mouthing “one-two-three-four… one-two-three-four…” as they do the moves.

But that’s the point! It’s like my occasional captions featuring wildly ignorant or uninformed ladies acting out school scenes, thrashing their clients for providing what were actually the right answers**. They can be totally incompetent but they are still infinitely superior goddesses to be worshiped absolutely. They don’t need to earn that adoration in any way whatsoever.***

That’s my philosophy, anyway. Maybe not up there with Socrates or Kant but it works for me.

Stop blithering and get on with the captioned images, you say? Why of course.

Servitor top tip: any conversation featuring the words ‘scrotal clamps’ is bound to be a little uncomfortable. Just go with it.

I hope the other one doesn’t get jealous.

Why experience a pointless and meaningless death when instead you can devote the – short and agonising – remainder of your life to making someone happy?

I’ve always been lucky that way. From my very first date, actually.

He’s rather forgettable. Sometimes that serves him in good stead, as being noticed too much can be painful.

* Oh God, The Dominatrix Sleeps Tonight. So… about the first 30 seconds of that featured on some BBC music show when I was a teenager… and then stopped! AAAAH! And there was no Internet, dear children, and the only way you could see a music video was if some TV show chose to play it. And I had never, ever seen any actual porn featuring an actual dominatrix, just that one glimpse (with heart thudding) of Valerie in that Pink Panther and… and… I watched music TV obsessively for years just in the hope that… and it never… oh, it was a different world, dear children, a different world.

** There’s a few of them. This for instance – way back when! That earned me several comments helpfully pointing out that Sydney is not actually the… oh well. Second in popularity only to the opposite theme, of dommes taking school sessions way too seriously and trying to impart actual knowledge.

*** The goddesses, according to Wikipedia , are “Julie Pankhurst (keyboard), Patty Kelly (guitar), Mak Gilchrist (bass guitar), Julia Bolino (guitar), and Kathy Davies (drums).”

**** As it is nearly Christmas, let’s have a little look at the parody in Love, Actually, too shall we? Yes, we’ll do that. And that is still lower video quality than the re-mistressed Palmer video! But the goddesses are goddesses and that’s the main thing.

***** Yes, I know there’s no asterisk marks beyond three in the main text above. But sometimes you start something and it’s hard to stop.

****** Readers based in (or prepared to undergo any amount of travel time to) the UK, who find the look of the goddesses in this video exciting, might be advised to approach (very respectfully indeed) a real-life Goddess, namely Serena. She is extraordinarily wonderful and indeed used to be a model.

Don’t make her tell you twice

Attentive ‘readers’ might have noticed that the ladies in my caption are often portrayed complaining about being made to do things to the implicit male sub: beat him, deny him sexual relief, castrate him, torture him to death… whatever little domestic chore is required. Some might find this a little odd,as you’d think in such a relationship, the decision-making would rest with them, as representatives of the superior sex. So possibly they’re being a little unfair – which is one of the many, many reasons to adore them.

Here’s a lady who is already on her second attempt to persuade you to pay some attention to her feelings, for a change, the poor thing. If you manage to avoid making her tell you three times – and you do a really good job – maybe she’ll forget all about it. Or maybe she won’t.

Yes, must be awful. If only someone would do something. Oh well.

These days it’s still basically summer in October, so plenty of time.

His counterpart who traveled to our universe is trying to deal with being a subbie with a Nobel prize. They don’t give them out for housework, so he’s finding it a bit difficult.

Win some, lose some. Lube up.

Sustained abjection

She loses track. Does it matter?

Oh dear, I hate to see women using their sexual wiles to swindle some poor chap. Why not learn an honest trade like findomming and just take his money in exchange for the privilege of being openly mocked or simply ignored? Then they’d be using their talents to contribute something to society, you know?

He must be very grateful.

Safety first – sure,everybody knows that’s rule number one in BDSM play, but what’s less often remarked is how important it can be in non-consensual revenge torture too.

People’s definitions of physical sexual intercourse vary. I use my body to pleasure the lady in my life by writhing around in agony, screaming, occasionally losing minor body parts and so on. Is that ‘sexual intercourse’, strictly speaking? Does it really matter how we define the activity, as long as she enjoys it and no harm is caused to anyone who matters?

Oral displeasure

I think it’s only fair to point out that this young lady has actually signed a Mistress-Slave agreement ruling out any humiliating D/S play in public. But not with you. Go on – don’t keep her waiting.

Or she could put yet another hood over that one. My SO loves to wrap me in layer after layer of latex hood and we play ‘find the air-hole’, which is a bit like ‘pass the parcel’ but with a strict time limit.

Your feelings do matter, obviously. Just not to her. Or Daniel.

It’ll be fine. Dr Franley’s patients rarely complain.

Don’t get into one of those Mars/Venus misunderstandings by interpreting her words literally, OK? I mean, she wants a present tomorrow too, obviously.

Unreasonable demands

She’s embarrassed now… but don’t worry, she has coping techniques for that.

Now come on – man up. Remember what you all discussed at the last encounter group? No, no I don’t mean the bit about ironing pleats – about standing up to your wives? Yeah? Right then. Hang on – where are you going? You can’t stand up to her on your knees! Oh for goodness’ sake…

My SO and I have a consensual relationship. I didn’t want to but she insisted.

They’d starve to death, I expect. I mean, more of them would than when the Ladies actually are there, anyway.

This photo is actually a rather sophisticated optical illusion. Many men, seeing it for the first time, don’t notice the slice of pizza, the big red cup, the bottles of water or the coffee maker – even after staring at it for hours. Something to do with how the brain processes images, I understand.

Lady drivers

What sixth sense is it that tells me that when Cindy finally gets the rock of her dreams, she’s going to want it put right back where it came from?

It’s her way of coping with grief. Don’t worry, she got plenty of cock on the second night of her marriage, though.

You know you’re going to be in good hands.

He was right about one thing: one minute did indeed turn out to be more than was really needed.

If you’re wondering how she intends to tackle the awesome responsibility of deciding who stays and who ends up in the bin-liner, she – oh, she already decided apparently. But I’m sure she gave it a lot of thought – you know, just very quickly.

Equal rights for men

Some people have misunderstood my position on rights for men, so I am happy to set the record straight. I believe all men deserve to be treated in exactly the same way. All of my writings here demonstrate that same commitment, I think you’ll find.

He’s going to be changing his name, of course, as a married man. She just hasn’t yet decided what to change it to, that’s all.

Yup… I can hardly wait! And yet I do.

The branding incident was a bit unfortunate – just goes to show the dangers of handling red-hot iron carelessly – but thankfully no one important was hurt.

See what I mean about equal rights? Free healthcare, right here. Males get free education too – lots of it.

Don’t worry: she won’t tell anyone where you are.

Leaders of men

Girls can play so rough….

If it helps you bear the discomfort, today’s actually the best day because from tomorrow there’ll be sand in it too. Not deliberately, but you know how it gets everywhere.

She’s not going to bother asking him what he thinks his biggest flaw is. Anyway, that’s for her to decide.

Her eyes are up there. And they’re looking into your soul.

You can see yourself out.

People can be so cruel

Thank goodness.

Some people think that the life of a submissive is to be a mindless automaton, obeying orders with at most a muttered ‘yes, Mistress’. But actually, there’s a lot of thought involved, not to mention worrying and sheer naked terror at possible consequences of thoughtlessness.

Julia? Oh… she can be a bit difficult, but, y’know: I can’t complain.

That’s all right – plenty of time to learn.

Inmates at the prison camp – especially those convicted of sexism and similar offences – might be surprised to learn there are rules forbidding excessively harsh treatment. But there are – and the proof is in the surprisingly high survival rates which are well over 80% for all but the most annoying inmates. Personally I don’t approve of that kind of mollycoddling, but no one cares about my opinion.

It’s always a bit embarrassing for professional educators to meet their students outside the classroom. That goes double for male educators meeting young female students, especially if it’s a hot day and the students’ feet are sweaty.

Category: gimp