fiction – Page 9 – Contemplating the divine

Fiction: Slave Tony

Hmm? What’s the hardest
punishment session I’ve ever given?

Oh, that’s easy.
Slave Tony. It has to be Slave
Tony.

Everyone in the scene knew Slave Tony. He’d been hanging around S&M clubs maybe ten years before I even started. You see, he was this guy from New York who used to go round all the
mistresses, saying that nothing they could do could break him. He was pretty tough too. He could take a hundred strokes of the cane
and wouldn’t even cry out. One time me and these two other girls spent a whole
weekend just working him over, and we still couldn’t do it. Tough guy. Really.

And this was really pissing me off, so I asked him once if
he would agree that I could do anything I wanted to him, to see if I could
break him. I’d win if I could make him
cry. Of course, we agreed some
limits. No permanent injuries, that kind
of thing. But any kind of beating,
bondage, imprisonment all of that – I guess Tony thought he could take
it. Nothing was going to make him cry. He hardly even gave it a second thought, just laughed and said I could do whatever I liked.

So I arranged for us both to fly down to Venezuela one Labor
day weekend. I told him there was this
heavy S&M scene there, you know? And
when we there we had a pretty wild time, and Tony got laid, and I whipped him
and everything, and he just took the whole thing without a grunt. Same as always.

But one of the local girls was the sister of my friend in
Queens. And she made him come on to her
quite rough, like we’d arranged, and she was pretty bruised when they’d
finished.

And then she reported him for rape. They take that kind of thing pretty seriously
in Venezuela. Especially when it’s rich
Americans doing the raping. So he got 14
years with hard labour.

I went to see him a few years ago – he’d already done four years, I think. He was looking pretty thin. I don’t think they feed them much; and they
work them hard. Anyway, they have an
early release scheme for good behaviour.
And he’s been very well-behaved – after the first few weeks, anyway. He’s one of those guys that just keeps his
head down, doing his time. Says yes sir
and no sir to the guards when he’s ordered about. So anyway, he should be out in – oh, just three more years, now, I guess.

That’s the only time I’ve seen him, anyway. Just the one visit. Actually, I think it
was the first time he’d had a visitor at all.
None of his friends know he’s there.

Oh – and did I forget to mention? He cried.

Let’s spend the night together

Now, this time around, your night in the cage is going to be
a little different.

Why? Because Mistress says so of course. But if you mean “In what way, Mistress?”, well, it’s because
you’ll have a little friend to keep you company, that’s why.

Can you guess?

Well… I read your diary the last time we did this – and
you’ve been keeping a little secret from me, haven’t you?

Hmmm?

Begins with ‘A’?

No, I don’t think you’re going to get it. ‘Arachnophobia’ is the word I was waiting for.

Now calm down. No,
come on. Calm down! It can’t really do you any harm.

Goodness, what an awful racket. It’s a good thing we soundproofed this
dungeon, isn’t it? And you know there’s
no point tugging on those chains like that.
They’re very strong. We wouldn’t
want your arms free to squash the poor little thing, now, would we?

That’s better. Try to
breathe normally.

What’s that? No, of
course you can’t. Don’t you
remember? You asked for a session with
no safewords. I can do anything to you
that doesn’t cause any actual damage.
Well, this is it.

Anyway, I’ve heard that this sort of thing is the way to
cure these silly little phobias. You’ve obviously got rather a bad one.

Well, I’ll be off.
I’ll just let little Miss Moffit out, and then I’ll close the door nice
and tight so she can’t leave either.

You know, they say the spider is more scared than you
are. You might want to bear that in mind. Although, looking at you now,
that’s hard to believe.

Do you think it’s better with the light on… or off? Better to see it… or just to know it’s there? Oooh, choices, choices. I’

Hmmm. Tell you what. I’ll just leave a torch shining from the other side of the dungeon. Then there will be a few well-lit spots, but mostly it’ll be dark.

I beg your pardon? No
– of course I don’t want an extra £1000 in tribute! What a ridiculous thing to say! You’ve completely broken the mood now. Well, I mean it would be nice. I’ll let you give it to me afterwards. But it won’t get you out of this. Bad boy – you’ll get an extra six hours for that. Release won’t be until after lunchtime tomorrow.

Goodnight. Play nice.

(Now come on Sweetie…out you go, now… there!)

Routine

Hmm? No – lots of men ask about that. I suppose it was a bit
strange at first. But after the first week or so, working on the castration
ward just feels like working anywhere else in the hospital. I’ve been doing it
for almost two years now –bit boring actually.

Right – now we’re just removing the testes today, OK? Then
your penectomy’s tomorrow. It’s best to get the testicles out of the way first,
so there’s no danger of tumescence during the operation.

Oh now, come on. It’ll be all right. Nothing to worry about.
I castrated two men this morning, and I’ll probably get another three done
after I’ve finished with you. Just relax. You’re in good hands.

My name’s Deborah, by the way! Sorry – nearly forgot to say!
Terrible really, you know – it can get so routine, I just think of you as my
“10 am castration”. But every patient’s different, aren’t they? A real person, not
just a set of genitals to be removed.

Anyway – you’re John, aren’t you? Oh – really? Are you? Oh, I’m really sorry, George. Maybe John’s one of the ones this afternoon. I’m sure there was a John. Anyway – pleased to meet you, John – George! I’m Deborah. Debbie, really.

Anyway, let’s get on with it. Ready? You might want to look
away during the procedure. Just look at the chart behind my head, or something.
Won’t take a moment.

Here we go.

Consolation prize

Hi honey!
Did you sleep well?

Oh – don’t worry about that. To tell the truth, I was quite relieved when
you couldn’t get it up! You know…I
thought I should fuck you after you spent so much money, and all…but I didn’t
really want to. I mean – you’re just not the type of man I find attractive. I was just feeling sorry
for you, really.

No, don’t worry about it. It’s OK! Really. Happens to lots of men, especially if they’re a bit self-conscious about not being handsome, or smart or fun to be with. I know you’re inexperienced. I guess it’s different with a real woman,
huh? I mean compared to looking at porn
on the Internet?

Oh – sure you do. It’s nothing to be ashamed of! How else is a guy like you going to get
himself off? It must be really
frustrating being rejected and ignored by women all the time. I think it’s great that there’s some kind of outlet for men who aren’t ever going to attract a real woman, so they can pretend they’re just like everyone else.

Hmmm?
Again? Oh. Oh…well, honey, I think you’re really sweet, but I need a proper
man. You know? Maybe we can just have this as a very special memory.

Sure – no problem.

Hey – would you like to take a picture of
me? Here, wearing my blue lingerie. I can hold my hair up with my hands, if you
like, like a model!

Got it?
There. Now you can upload that
onto your computer, and play with yourself while you look at it. Pretending you’re in control.

If you share it online, maybe one of
those porn blogs will put it up too…and caption it or something! Then lots of lonely, pathetic men could
masturbate to my image. To forget how
sad their lives are… just for a moment.

Fuss

Yeah, it was a bit weird, actually. I mean, I thought I’d enjoy it, but actually
I found it kind-of disturbing, you know?

I hadn’t told him what was going to
happen, of course, but he figured it out as soon as we got to the clinic, and
he was panicking and trying to get away.
Honestly, if I hadn’t thought to have him on the leash, I think he really would
have run out onto the street. Fortunately, the nurses
there are very good – I mean, they see this sort of thing a lot. So they soon had him strapped down, but he
was still screaming hysterically and pleading – all “Oh God, Mistress, please
don’t do it, I’ll do anything!” You
know?

And then we had a long wait for the
doctor to get round to him, and it’s amazing, he was shrieking and crying the
whole time. I had to step out and go for
a little walk in the fresh air. He’d
calmed down a bit when I got back, but then the doctor arrived and started
getting the knives out, you know, and it all started up again. Honestly, I think he made more fuss while he
was lying there waiting, then he did when she started cutting! And you know what he’s like with pain. Always has been – he screamed the place down
on our wedding night.

Anyway, all done eventually.

I hope this one’ll be easier when I take
him in. I made him watch when I punished
the other one for embarrassing me in front of the doctor like that. So he should be more co-operative.

But we’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose.

Do you fancy a cup of tea?

A lucky break

Hi Sweetie! Listen, I met
someone you used to work with, last night.
I mean, before you lost your job. One of Rob’s friends. Brad – somebody? Yes, that’s right. Tall guy, very good-looking. Was he in your team? Did he?
Wow, hard to imagine you being his boss.

Anyway, he’s got your old job, now. Well – sort of. They’ve expanded it a bit, given him two
extra divisions to manage I think.
They’re doing really well!
He said you weren’t very good at winning
business because clients found you a bit creepy, or something like that. Funny what a difference these little things make! Oh, and apparently your team never liked you much. But with him in charge, all that’s
changed! Isn’t that great?

Anyway, I was telling him you’ve been unemployed all this
time, and how desperate you are for work, and that you’re looking for opportunities – and guess what he said!

Apparently, he needs a cleaner! Three hours a day, you know to pick up around
his apartment and do the dishes and his laundry and things like that. And he’ll pay 25% over minimum wage – because
he says he’s really messy! He told Rob that anyone who’d handwash his dirty socks deserved at least a 25% bonus over minimum wage. He’s such a funny guy – had us all laughing all evening.

Well, of course I said you’d love to! So maybe you can pop round today, and he can
show you where all the things are.

Oh –
and it gets better. He said he’d ask around at work, to see if anyone else needs laundry doing
or something! They’re all really busy,
and the company gave them all huge bonuses last year, so he reckons there’s a
good chance! He even had this brilliant business idea! You could do laundry for the whole team – you know, just pop into your old office two or three times a week and pick it up from anyone who has anything for you, then deliver it all again, all clean and neatly ironed, a day or two later. Wasn’t he clever to think of something like that! Maybe that’s why he’s so much more successful than you were.

Wasn’t that lucky! He’s
really nice, actually. I hope he’s there
again tonight.

Reunited

It’s so cool
to see the two of you again, after all these years. So -while she’s stepped out of the room, how are things between you and Fiona? Hey? Still
great? You were always, like, this perfect
couple?

Yeah? Does she?
Yeah I did notice you were quite quiet around her. Well, she was always quite bossy. I guess you knew that when you married her.

Oh – I’m
sure it’s not as bad as that! Lots of
couples have rules. And it’s not like
you were ever going to be the one in charge in this marriage, is it? Not with Fuhrer Fiona in charge! That’s what we used to call her at school.

Doe
she? Wow.

But you were
into that anyway, weren’t you?
I remember, when we were together, you were always asking me to smack your
bottom, or tie you up. That’s one of the reasons we
split up… I like the man to be in charge. I think
you’re really lucky to have found someone else who’s into it. I’m sure she doesn’t beat you that hard.

Does
she? Wow. Well, I don’t know anything about that
stuff. But you look OK to me. You’ve lost weight, for one thing. You look good.

What?

Oh don’t be
ridiculous! How could I help you
‘escape’! You’re not a prisoner
here. I’m sure you could leave any time
you wanted!

What? Oh good grief! Nobody’s a ‘slave’ any more. I mean, not really. I think the two of you are just going through
a bad patch, that’s all. And the kinky
sex thing is just making it a bit more complicated. But I expect you’ll work it out.

Oh
dear. Now I’ve upset you. Look – stop crying, I’ll help if I can, OK?

Well maybe I
could talk to her about how you’re feeling, and –

Oh calm
down! Stop panicking! I’m her oldest friend, I know how to tell her
things.

Anyway, here
she comes now. Don’t worry. I won’t tell her directly, but maybe tonight
when we’ve had a few drinks I’ll just let on that you told me you’re a bit
unhappy with her, OK? I’m sure she’ll be
fine with it. Then the two of you can start working through your differences after I’ve gone.

Shhh! Not a word!

After school activities

Hi Honey!

Listen – Miranda called today. You remember she started teaching at that new
school? That’s right. Sex education for a class of seventeen
year-old girls. I mean, can you imagine!

Anyway, she came round a couple of days ago, because she
knows you had the operation a few years ago, and she wanted to borrow the
jar. Show them what male genitalia
really look like.

So of course I said yes (sorry – hope that’s OK with you!).

Well, apparently the kids were really interested! I mean, that’s amazing – normally they only
care about Facebook and stuff like that.
And she wants to use that in her teaching – you know, get them talking
about sexual politics, how traditional gender roles are changing, the image of
the ‘castrating woman’ in literature and popular culture… You know?

So, she was wondering if we could go in and talk to the
class some time. To talk about how we
handle sex now – apparently when she first told them, they thought we were both celibate!

I thought maybe we could pop in next Tuesday. She’d do it as an after school activity – you
know, put up a poster and just see how many turn up.

You’re not busy on Tuesday, are you? I told her it would probably be OK, but I
thought I’d better just check first.

Don’t worry – it won’t be like this. You’ll get a much bigger audience, I’m sure.

Famous for more than 15 minutes

Oh hey! How are
you! Wow, I guess I haven’t seen you
since –

Well, yeah. I guess
you could call it ‘that’ date. The date
from hell, huh?

Oh but look, I’m kinda glad I ran into you. I mean, you must have some pretty awful
memories from that night – I mean the way you were crying when I threw you out
and stuff aaaand I just didn’t want to leave it like that without, well –

– without telling you how much blog traffic I got when I posted about it!

I mean, really.
“Impotent crybaby” just got more traffic than anything else I’ve ever
published. And when I put up another
post – you know, about how you said maybe you could get hard if only you could
sniff my trainers – well, wow! I mean,
my blog’s been like, in the top 1000 ever since.

You’re even an internet meme. Pretty cool, huh?

Oh, you must have seen it.
You put up a picture of some – like – total catastrophe, like an
earthquake or something and then you write “But maybe if I can sniff your
smelly trainers, it’ll all be OK?”

Didn’t you realise that was you? “Needy fucked up loser”. That’s you! You’re a star.

Oh my god! Are you
crying again? Hold on, let me get my
phone. I have got to take a photo this time!

Where are you going?
Hey come back!

Oh don’t be a spoilsport! I just wanna… I –

Hey!

I have trainers in my bag!
And I went running this morning.
You want me to – ?

That’s right. Trainers. Smelly old stinky trainers.

That’s better.

OK, we’ll start with you kneeling down there. No, there. That’s right.

Look up at the camera, honey. No – don’t dry your eyes. And now up at the bag where the trainers are…that’s
right. How much do you want them? Hmm?
How much? Show me how much you
want them. Because you won’t get them
unless I see those tears flow, asshole.

That’s right. Oh
boy. Youtube fame, here I come.

Number 17

No, it’s not part of a psychological game. I really am a serial killer. The dominatrix thing is just a trick. You’ll be my 17th victim.

You see, I used to have to go out and try to capture men…but
that’s so difficult, and it’s risky too.
One time, one got away – he would have been number 4 – but I was lucky, he hadn’t seen my face.

And then I discovered that if I advertise as
“Cruel Carmina’s House of Bondage” men would come to me and let me tie them
up. And then I can do what I want, can’t I?

They even pay. Amazing, really!

More? Oh don’t worry about that. The money’s not important. You can offer as much as you like and –

– how much? –

– wow, you must be rich! Well, it would be nice to have that much money. But I don’t think so. I’d still have the craving to do this, no matter how rich I was. And anyway, if I let you go I think sooner or later I’d find myself in prison, don’t you?

So, I think it’s better if your money just goes to whoever you’ve named as beneficiary in your will. But thanks for offering.

That’s right. You try
those straps. Give them a good
pull. You’ll find they’re quite
strong. I spent a fortune on bondage
gear.

You can have a good struggle
there, while I go and take all this leather and rubber shit off and put some
proper clothes on, OK? And get the plastic sheeting.

What’s that? Someone
will come looking for you?

Oh dear. Should I be scared? Because you told
lots of people you were paying a visit to “Cruel Carmina’s House of Bondage”
did you?

I don’t think so. I’ll bet you even switched ‘location
services’ off on your phone before you arrived, didn’t you?

Yes, of course you did. No one knows you’re here. It’s just you and me. We’re going to get to know each other quite well, over the next few days.

And then it’ll just be me again. All on my own. To tidy up the mess. And make an appointment for number 18.

See you in a minute.

For anyone considering visiting a professional domme for the first time – this is just a silly jokey fantasy, OK? The first time I visited one, I was terrified and I left everything like credit cards that could identify me behind in case – oh, I don’t know what. And she was lovely, and just perfect and I quickly grew to trust her completely. I’ve visited quite a few dommes and I have never found one to be other than completely professional, and understanding and safe. Just go for it.

I do still switch off ‘location services’ of course. But it’s not my Mistress I’m worried about, there. It’s being found out.

The lady in the photos is from a photoshoot from Cruella…oooh, at least 25 years ago. She haunted my adolescent fantasies, and still does.