It’s so cool
to see the two of you again, after all these years.  So  -while she’s stepped out of the room, how are things between you and Fiona?  Hey? Still
great?  You were always, like, this perfect

Yeah?  Does she? 
Yeah I did notice you were quite quiet around her.  Well, she was always quite bossy.  I guess you knew that when you married her.

Oh – I’m
sure it’s not as bad as that!  Lots of
couples have rules.  And it’s not like
you were ever going to be the one in charge in this marriage, is it?  Not with Fuhrer Fiona in charge!  That’s what we used to call her at school.

she?  Wow.

But you were
into that anyway, weren’t you? 
I remember, w
hen we were together, you were always asking me to smack your
bottom, or tie you up.  That’s one of the reasons we
split up… I like the man to be in charge. 
I think
you’re really lucky to have found someone else who’s into it.  I’m sure she doesn’t beat you that hard.

she?  Wow.  Well, I don’t know anything about that
stuff.  But you look OK to me.  You’ve lost weight, for one thing.  You look good.


Oh don’t be
ridiculous!  How could I help you
‘escape’!  You’re not a prisoner
here.  I’m sure you could leave any time
you wanted!

What?  Oh good grief!  Nobody’s a ‘slave’ any more.  I mean, not really.  I think the two of you are just going through
a bad patch, that’s all.  And the kinky
sex thing is just making it a bit more complicated.  But I expect you’ll work it out.

dear.  Now I’ve upset you.  Look – stop crying, I’ll help if I can, OK?
Well maybe I
could talk to her about how you’re feeling, and –

Oh calm
down!  Stop panicking!  I’m her oldest friend, I know how to tell her

Anyway, here
she comes now.   Don’t worry.  I won’t tell her directly, but maybe tonight
when we’ve had a few drinks I’ll just let on that you told me you’re a bit
unhappy with her, OK?  I’m sure she’ll be
fine with it.  Then the two of you can start working through your differences after I’ve gone.

Shhh!  Not a word!

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