Pet sounds



Let’s hope she’s not trying for a multiple orgasm today.







If they do a good job, she’ll probably want to buy the monthly pass.  Works out a lot cheaper.
Hi Belinda.  You know, about pain play… I’ve been thinking. 


And then he has to sow the wheat but after that he can take a bit of a rest until harvest time.  Apart from practicing for the competition at the Country Fair, obviously.

Oh dear.  I hope she’s not too disappointed.


Spousework

Very sensible of her to discuss it straight away, so they can sort whatever it is out and get on with their marriage.

I suppose it’s good that she’s finally getting more use out of them. Normally, she puts them on once a month at most and even then she only uses one finger and a thumb of the left glove.

Nothing humiliating there… move on.

Oh, Susan will blame him.  She needn’t worry about that. He should, though.

Mind what?  Why can’t the ladies featured on this blog just say what they mean?  It’s maddening, it really is.


I beg to differ

… but she rarely lets me.


I don’t want to do anything she disapproves of.  It’s too painful.

Always expect the unexpected. Except on this blog, where we ran out of ideas years ago and just keep recycling the same old tropes.

It’s only a small bottle, but they deliver them in packs of 24, annoyingly.

Sure,
darling, of course, I… do you know, I don’t seem to have a pen with
me?  What a shame, I’ll just – what’s that? You have one with you,
darling?  Oh. Oh good.  Right.  So I just sign…?  There.  Right.
Mmm… blackmail fetish and schoolgirl play combined!  Lots of fun.


Demeaningful statements

Not much of a twist in the storyline in that caption I’ll admit, but sometimes the expression is just, perfectly right.



And they say romance is dead.

 

Watch out for the bottom-pinchers.

If they manage to catch him and chain him up again, I expect they’ll work out their anger together.

Don’t be afraid to give in to your feelings, Diana.  Do not try to fight who you are.


Unmancipation

When I first started dating my SO, I’d often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh… two, three…maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.






It’s always embarassing when men have to go to what’s basically a girls’ night out, isn’t it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike.  Women are just better at social events… it’s because they’ve got more empathy.

 

Life will be a lot simpler.  You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision.  Don’t pressure her, OK?



I’m down on my hands and knees.  Point me to the broken glass.

Sexual kneeling


Mmm… concussion play.




To be fair, she did promise Simon a blow-job.  So don’t dawdle.

They did a guy last year who – purely by coincidence – actually developed tonsillitis two weeks later. It took forever to get him strapped down the second time, goodness only know what they poor thing thought they were planning to cut off on that occasion!

It likes looking at the pretty pictures and thinking naughty thoughts, though, doesn’t it?
Well, all right then. But I hope Mike doesn’t go talking about it at work on Monday, that’s all.


Cower pose

Actually, little wifey has a spare and could easily be persuaded that medical monitoring at work is important too.
Remember: she loves you and would never want to cause you any pain.  But sometimes she feels she has to.
Nicer, but dimmer.
It’s quite a slow way to communicate.  But effective.

She believes equally in strict maternal and uxorial discipline.


I was so upset I cried

… all the way to the chip shop.


It might.
Let’s hope he doesn’t say anything embarrassing.
A male submisive who fantasises about domestic drudgery but actually doesn’t know the first thing about housework?  Wow – pretty crazy idea, huh?
The worst of it is, she doesn’t allow me nearly enough pocket money to even dream of saving up to pay for a session with her. So it’ll be bananas all the way.
She knows, having tested a few to destruction.


Love is a danger of a different kind

It’s guilt edged, glamorous and sleek by design; you know it’s jealous by nature,
false and unkind.

Cuts and more cuts!  What do I pay my taxes for, I’d like to know?  Well… OK, I don’t actually pay taxes because I just get £5 a week pocket money.  But my wife pays taxes on my income, so I think this is just disgraceful.

That’s a rhetorical question.  No need to provide reasons in response.
Let’s find out.
Lose coffee privileges??  Ooh – hard limit!  Red, Mistress, red!

Which is quite often, obviously.

Before you start, you’re already beat

Ohhh, ohhhh, ohhhh.

Hmm.  You could try asking her where she saw it last?

Never presume.


The performance reviews are considerably more stringent, for a start.

She’s good on indifference curves too.

Just for grumpy old Mr Anonymous who commented on the last post.

Just thought I’d share a link to ‘Hbear’ AKA Drunksimian, a femdom artist whom I’ve only just discovered – amazingly enough, as I love femdom art (if I could draw I would not caption photos!) and I’m always looking for it.  I think these are great – they’re mostly along rather heavy ‘prison guard in leather themes’, a bit like early Sardax or Nanshakh.  Worth checking out if you’re into that