Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.
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| Happy relationships are all about boundaries. Many newly-married men get a bit silly about not being able to lead the batchelor life any more, but are you really any ‘less free’ just because from now on you can’t do or say anything your wife disapproves of? It’s just a different way of life, that’s all. |
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| Rubbing up against a tree? Sounds a bit kinky. |
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| She seems nice. |
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| Yes, let’s. |
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| What a lovely film that was. Especially the bath scene… |
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| It’s actually quite high in calories, but don’t worry about that because you’re unlikely to be able to keep much of it down. |
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| Thank goodness for that. I think you can just leave the case in her capable hands. |
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| I dunno – I find shops vary in the degree to which they are kink-friendly. Once I was sent to find some gear for an adult baby session and for some reason the staff in the ‘early years’ shop got all weird about it when I started asking about how strong their leather reins sets were, and whether the cots could be fitted with padlocks. But then on another occasion, I had to buy a hairbrush and the shop assistant in the department store I went to was delighted to help me try every one of them out. Said it was something she wished she could do to more customers. So you never know. |
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| Silly boys. Reinforced seat trousers do little good when they’re around your ankles, anyway. |
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| Male brains don’t multi-task. Mine barely tasks at all, to be honest. Now then: I was writing a caption..? |
Today’s theme is gardens and gardening for reasons that should be obvious.
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| I’ve always fantasised about my Mistress lending me out to a vanilla friend, but it’s actually less exciting than you might think. One of her old school friends offered to try it, but almost as soon as I arrived and got changed into my perky little maid’s outfit, somehow I knew it wasn’t going to work. I did the housework for a bit but I think we both felt uncomfortable and so after a couple of hours he phoned for Mistress to come and pick me up again. |
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| Scurry scurry scurry. |
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| There are more dandelions. Many more. |
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| He’s at peace, now. |
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| If she does roquet you – that is, hits one of your balls with hers – then she gets to ‘croquet’ – and there are two ways of doing it. The American rule is that she puts her foot down, firmly holding the ball immobile, before tapping it with her mallet. But in Britain, she just places her ball next to yours and thwacks as hard as she can. It’s all in the angles, you see. Anyway, both methods are a lot of fun. |
… and indeed when she doesn’t.
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| What a tie-breaker. |
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| Needless to say, this blog does not purport to offer financial advice, and no investments should be undertaken on the basis of what you read here, unless so advised by an independent financial advisor, or directly ordered by a woman. |
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| My SO sometimes let me choose the style of play. Just none of the content. |
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| They’re very strange. I think most of them have just never experienced the firm loving guidance of a real woman. Sad, really. |
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| Yes. Everything will be perfect. |
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| My SO’s always had the same rule. Sulky face = semen face. Simple, no argument. |
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| Or breakfast, if you’re not hungry enough by tonight. |
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| I’d end up paying a lot of guys for a lot of things, if that rule applied to me. It’s important to prioritise: to spend your money on the things that make her most happy. |
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| Many people who get into porn movies just do it for a short time, but snuff movie stars, oddly enough, often spend the rest of their lives in the business. |
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| My first girlfriend told me she was strongly opposed to corporal punishment of children. When I turned eighteen, I discovered she had strong views on the corporal punishment of adults, too. |
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| Actually, unlike many men with small penises, I don’t obsess about it and feel inadequate and ashamed about its size. My feelings of inadequacy and shame are much more broadly-based than that. |
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| It’s just to redress the balance. Men are no good at empathy. Not like women: my SO always knows when I’m hurting badly, no matter how much I try to conceal it. |
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| It’s much shorter than my punishment song – which has seventeen verses. Even though I’ve never considered myself a good singer, my SO usually enjoys it so much she ‘asks’ for an encore. Sometimes two. |
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| Lucky bastard – he’s going to be experiencing his top sexual fantasy for the rest of his life. |
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| The gentlemen in the picture likes to claim he is ‘very experienced in BDSM’ but actually, he’s about to discover there’s a lot more to it than he had ever imagined. |
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| The annoying thing is, I only bought the car last week. But I guess I can do without it. It’s essential to prioritise, when making important financial decisions. |
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| She doesn’t mean the bondage. He likes the bondage. It’s the things she can do to him because he is in bondage that he won’t like. |
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| There used to be a brand of condoms that fitted me just perfectly, but the manufacturer decided to stop producing that particular size. Not enough demand for it, apparently. Over 20% of men are that size or less, but they make up only 0.3% of all sexual encounters, so… I can’t really blame them. |
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| And she’ll decide whether you really really need it, or not. |
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| My wife’s very sexually demanding too, but I don’t have too much difficulty keeping her satisfied: the local male escort agencies all give us loyalty discounts now and if I book in advance as well, I can get up to a 25% off the list price. Which is – just about – affordable on my salary, if I’m careful to economise on everything else. |
Isn’t it delectable?
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| My SO can be scatterbrained like that. Just last week was supposed to be my annual orgasm and the silly thing forgot it completely! How we laughed when she realised the next day why I’d been looking so anxious. She still smiles when she thinks about it… |
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| Abusive behaviour can develop slowly – or can be quite quick, starting almost as soon as one hands over the bag containing the champagne and the envelope with the tribute money. |
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| Tried it. What now? Hmm? |
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| The rules can be quite strict. I tried to change my name to my wife’s and they wouldn’t allow it. Isn’t that ridiculous – in this day and age? Apparently “Mywifes” is not an officially recognised christian name. |
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| Well, I hope she’s prepared to let him stay for the whole session, even if he did underpay. |
(we don’t talk about the discarded ones).
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| Another 2% fantasise desperately about it not happening, or at least not so often and not quite so hard. |
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| Right. It’s about time all this nonsense stopped – I’m going to put my foot down. In fact, I’m going to stamp my foot – hard. Several times. And I’m going to to have a proper tantrum. That should show her she can’t treat me like this. |
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| Their faces usually fall again when she goes on to inform them that she will therefore proceed to the next thrashing, for the next item on her list. |
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| I once asked my SO if she could feminise me, but she just laughed and said she’d love to, but I don’t have the IQ to make a convincing woman. |
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| She cares a lot. |
By the way, not ‘found femdom’ in any meaningful way, but over the break I’ve been watching episodes of 90s British sitcom Game On and perving ever so slightly to the lovely Samantha Janus and especially her relationship with the character Martin. I watched it occasionally at the time it was broadcast and it’s as weird and spectacularly depressing as ever, as the basic set-up is that Matt – a neurotic, agoraphobic narcissist – rents out rooms in his flat to Martin (a wimp) and Mandy (a goddess!). Martin is a virgin desperate for sex, while Mandy is frustrated with her life and hates herself for sleeping with so many men. But (da-dum), the only men she absolutely will not have sex with are the other two characters. With Matt, she refuses and pushes him away but with Martin it obviously never even occurs to her to have sex with him. There’s a lovely scene in this episode (intended to be the first ever, although they varied the order of broadcast), in which her latest boxer boyfriend takes up her whole bed, so she snuggles up with Martin, who lies there with an erection the whole desperate night. Here, starting 16.22. Ahhh…
So, yeah, not in any way femdom. Except that Samantha Janus is quite literally a goddess and I for one intend to found a religion in her honour.
She is notionally Samantha Womack these days, but I’ll be hunting down Mr so-called Womack and forcing the blasphemer to change his name to Janus, as is only right and proper, so don’t worry about that.
…but she sometimes lets me off the monthly interest if I consent to one of the ‘special’ games she likes to play. It’s quite an incentive to keep the payments up, actually.
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| Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve heard you can see the sea from the bar they’re planning to spend the afternoon in, so I’m sure they’ll notice if the tide comes a bit further up than they were expecting. |
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| Hmmm… it’s almost like they’re in a – what’s the word? Predicament. |
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| What can it mean? I don’t know… I just work here. |
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| Consent is very important in BDSM. My SO absolutely insists on it. |
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| Ah well. Nearly got a freebie there. You know… I was playing SPH humiliation scenes years before I knew that was a thing. I just called it ‘dating’. |