coffee – Contemplating the divine

You are the product

Except that today you’re not (unless your Mistress is putting you up for auction, obviously). Instead, it’s another collection of advertising-themed images.

Contemplating the Divine takes no responsibility for any painful, humiliating or soul-destroying consequences arising from attempting to use the products advertised here. Although any funny and embarassing stories are welcome, obviously.

No resemblance to advertising campaigns for actual products, especially soft drinks made by huge multinationals with well-staffed legal departments, is intended. C’mon, guys, can’t you take a joke? No? Oh well…

… and a bonus image. A different theme to the ones above, but I don’t have six like this, so might as well put it up here:

Women of consequence

You often hear it said that women don’t really care about cock size and that’s certainly been my experience. Most women I’ve dated have made clear to me that the size of my cock is of no interest or practical significance whatever, as far as they are concerned.

In the modern world, men have to learn to be supportive if they want to remain useful.

Oh, you can stick with being Number 13. You’re already among the luckiest men alive, to be one of her paypigs, so I don’t think you need to worry about anything bad happening.

Men don’t really do irony. Screaming and begging for mercy, that’s what they do.

Tamara Kenworthy there… oh, Tamara Kenworthy.

Who is also the lovely Samantha Alexander, here being delightful and non-dominational in a video introduced by (formerly Strict Miss) Zoe Page. So regrettably vanilla, although so captivating in appearance and voice and the line “We’re not in Chesterfield any more” gets extra points for Britishness. Does anyone know if the other lady, Charlotte Elizabeth, is also a domme? She looks kinda dommey.

Now he has to endure that agonising pause while he awaits her reply. She’s *really* good at agonising pauses.

How could you not, when she smiles so sweetly?

Submission guidelines

Oh well, at least you have a part to play in the sex game, right?

I don’t want to be unduly pessimistic, but I’m not sure he’s going to do well in this round.

Maybe they’ll get back together properly… never say never, right? Or ‘no Mistress’, for that matter.

As long as there’s a net overall gain, I don’t see how anyone could reasonably object.

Coffee? Hypotheticals? I do wish she’d speak clearly. Like her sister, who’s always going on about how plants are much healthier if they’re pruned back. I mean, she doesn’t even have a garden. Is this another Mars/Venus thing?

Well, you don’t sound very grateful

Recent quote from a lovely domme, disappointed by my bad manners. Needless to say, she helped me to express my gratitude more profusely.

Pictures are neither more nor less related than usual.

I expect she has quite firm views – vigorously expressed – on gratitude, too.

Of course she’s not actually going to throw the gift set away – I mean, she has it now, so she might as well keep it. But its the principle of the thing. Ironically enough, that particular cosmetics firm practises cruelty-free testing. And she knows that. But she holds to her principles very strongly.

What a shame she doesn’t let you have enough money to afford her services. Oh well, there’s always sitting alone in the dark and howling inwardly, right?

There’s a guy who hangs around the coffee shop just waiting to see that domme approaching the door, so he can leap ahead of her in the queue and ‘pay her coffee on’. Sadly, she doesn’t know that because she’s never had to pay for a coffee there and thinks its free… so she just occasionally notices with irritation the guy who always barges ahead of her in the queue. But life was never meant to be fair.

As a last service, try to notice which way your beloved wife bet and then breathe faster or slower, depending, to help her win. That would be a loving gesture and it’s not as if you’ll have many more opportunities to show how much you care for her.

I wonder what it does mean? Madame Šárka seems to know… I expect she’ll be able to help him understand his mistake – and the seriousness thereof.

As a bit of found (and probably unintended) femdom, this is rather lovely, by the way. I wonder if it works with anything other than golf balls?

Motivating thoughts

He does the actions, too. Those consist of thrashing around frantically, in a futile attempt to dodge the strokes.

Try not to objectify her when you’re hanging there. No woman likes to feel like a piece of meat.

Wow – she’s not just a barrista, she’s a startup! You could invest in her, be one of those… what do they call them, angels! I’m sure she’d guarantee you a very fair return.

Sorry about the poor picture quality. But the expression was sooo perfect.

Try not to be too nervous. Just nervous enough, that’ll be fine.

Owning him

When your Mistress is a perfect 10, it’s only fair that you have to be graded too.

And we don’t ‘bob’ so much as immerse and hold down.

Oh, if there is one Lady I’d love to see again, it is Lady Sophia Black. She lit our lives up like a, like a… hmm… comet? No, something brighter. Like a flamethrower, then retired too soon, too too soon.

She’s focused on what’s important in the relationship and you should be too.

That’s an interesting question – let me ask you one in return, preferably on my knees, with my paws up like a begging dog.

He has an excellent retirement plan and one day she might tell him what it is.

She also likes to play “this little piggie”, especially the bit about shrieking all the way home.

Superior wisdom

Every idea I’ve ever had is above my station, I reckon.

Good thing someone thought to bring clothespegs.

Yes. If the pain’s too much, she definitely wants to know, OK?

She can make quite a persuasive argument. In fact, I’m hooked already.

They shouldn’t worry too much. The mistresses there mostly aren’t into heavy pain play. Not with female subs. And with male subs it’s not really ‘play’ anyway.

Funny how I wanted to say “No. No there isn’t! And there won’t be any more coffee for another couple of *months*! How do you like that you… you…” But it came out as “No, I think that was the last, darling. Shall I make some fresh?”

Ideas above my station

Scurry scurry scurry…

In practice a lot of the psychological elements flow fairly naturally from the pain and from the dread of it,

Coding’s a valuable skill in today’s economy but getting the coffee that helps keep the coding girls focused is vital too. Not as well paid – obviously, as a traditional male occupation – but there’s more to life than money and the satisfaction of a menial job done adequately cannot really be priced. Plus, a really good coffee boy might have a shot at a tampon boy position, should one become available. Better than sitting in front of a computer staring at boring old code, amirite?

So brave she bought a weekly pass enabling her to see any show she pleases. But watching Mark will be special for her, obviously.

This picture in welts was just chance but some dommes take pride in their artistic skill with the whip. My SO likes to do Mondrians on me, for instance. I don’t mind the lines, it’s the areas of uniform flat colour that really sting.

A happy Cruella shoot, of course, with all three participants enjoying the balmy British summer.

Relationships founded on respect

Not mutual respect, obviously. No fun in that.

Go on, it’s an opportunity to show off your strength. Girls like that.

An optional 150% service charge will be added to his bill, but of course it’s entirely at her discretion.

I don’t think ‘we’ are going to be doing a lot of talking, except of the begging and pleading variety. Same as usual.

There are penalties for average scores below ‘B’ and rewards for slaves receiving an overall ‘A’, although no one has ever found out what those rewards might be. This guy here is averaging a ‘G’, but then he is very experienced and well-trained so it’s not surprising he’s doing so well.

We were bent over the desk, dreading every stroke, I think, if I remember rightly – and wondering why we can’t just enjoy normal sex, like normal people do.

Words of praise

Look at that… she gets to have a mug of rich, steaming coffee… and Raoul’s coming round later, too.

Things just haven’t been the same between us since Humpy Hippo moved in.

If you like Humpy Hippo, then you might also like Mr Floppyears because it’s basically the same caption.

I remember as a child running excitedly to the door to let the District Disciplinary Officer in, while Dad grovelled for mercy at my Mum’s feet. These days you can order a beating on-line, but it’s not the same.

It’s silly to criminalise sexism. Men are better than women at lots of things and it shouldn’t be a crime to say so. Hard labour, for a start: we’re really good at that.

10 Green Bottles?