And the wife she keeps the keys


She is so pleased to be a part of the arrangement.  Warning: clip utterly unrelated to femdom and disappointingly safe for work. 

She’s actually very kind – never uses the cattleprod more than she absolutely has to, you know?


Obviously, this is something we cannot condone nowadays.  Asking female co-workers whether they have lock-picking skills is the very definition of workplace sexual harassment, I reckon.

You might not technically be gay but then you’re not really heterosexual in any meaningful sense either, are you? I mean: your hand’s not female.


How about what?
She’ll be able to tell when the power’s back on, because there’s a little green light that flashes above the circuit-breaker. That, and the agonized shrieks for mercy from upstairs.

Be cruel to thy neighbour

It does, actually.  But it was never very good at it, anyway, so no loss really.
Scurry scurry scurry.

She can track your progress with the little chip thing they insert under your skin. If she can be bothered.

Damn… she’s right.  Eight years I’ve been writing this blog and… oh well.
Thank goodness everyone’s safe.  Everyone who matters, anyway.








Back to reality

… well, the loose approximation of it represented by this blog, anyway.


The holiday, since you ask, was fantastic.  It was in one of those picture-perfect resorts, you know, with the palm trees coming down to the powdery sand sloping down to a turquoise lagoon.  But not at all crowded – it’s a private beach belonging to the hotel and at the prices I was paying, I can tell you, there’d just better be some serious privacy!  And the hotel was as spectacular as the price implied: the rooms, the food, the pool… made a lot of new friends too, apparently.


What do you mean, ‘how do I know’?  She sent me a postcard, of course.  I mean, I didn’t actually see it until after my release because the kennels don’t allow postal deliveries, but I expect she didn’t know that and it was a very kind thought.  She was having so much fun, she hadn’t even put enough postage on it, the silly thing!  Had to come out of my pocket money.  I’d been saving for.. well, I mustn’t complain.

Another year, another… maybe 550 or so captioned images? It hardly bears thinking about, does it?  Better get on…


Stick-fetching is one of those things that sensible husbands quickly learn is not really up for discussion.
You know, I think she might be about to confess her life-long fantasy of making love to a short, slightly overweight guy wearing a frilly french maid outfit.  Give her time.
It’s a shame they can’t both win.
Damn.  That was going well.

It’s awful wearing a chastity belt on a beach – sands gets in, apparently. Not that I’d know.  Sensible concrete floors, that’s what we had in the kennels.  Fresh straw on Thursdays.


Being the best she can make me

 
You know, there are whole ‘pick-up artist’ sites that are all about how to get women to take their panties off, but none of them have hit upon this very simple technique.  It’s just about understanding her needs, really.
 
 
I would.  I wonder what it would have felt like.
Going to be a long, hot summer.
More women suffer from having excessively deep vaginas than many men realise – almost everyone I’ve been on a date with has had that problem, remarkably.








It’s a form of ‘one woman one vote’ system.
Further details available here.

As specks of dust we’re universal

I love this song. It’s got nothing at all to do with femdom, except in the sense that obviously no male could ever write something so great (unless inspired by a muse, I suppose).  So: SFW warning if you click the link, yeah?


Right. On with the poppycock.





Or don’t be brave. To be honest, Trudy doesn’t really mind either way.
Always a bit dull listening to someone describing their dream, isn’t it?  Still: better humour her.  Don’t want to be whipped.

I wish she didn’t have to as well.  So why does she?
After a session with a domme I’d been seeing for a while, I asked what she really thought of me, but she just laughed and told me to fuck off and book a humiliation session.  I guess she must have mis-heard.
She’s not really looking to discuss this, by the way. She’s just sharing how she feels – it’s a Mars/Venus thing, yeah guys?  Just go with it.


Painful conversations



They have a 97% record of safe deliveries, so there’s actually very little to worry about, as long as you’ve been a good husband.

And I’m sure Herbert’s is not a cock he’d like suck either!  So why on earth are they doing it?  Men are odd.

If you’re thinking of trying this, be careful, OK?  Those chastity inspectors are no joke.  She could lose her keyholder licence and you could lose your… well anyway, just be careful, yeah?
Actually, that’s not quite true. She loves her job, but she’d rather be doing ear, nose and throat surgery. That’s where her real interest lies, but apparently you have to do a stint in every department before you can specialise.





Hmm.  It’s tricky, isn’t it?




I can still hear you saying

… you would never break the chain.


Oh, not again…

Do you know, I think I might be so full after all that, I don’t think I could face a dessert? But fortunately, no one cares what I think.

I’ve suffered from a few sexual complaints in my time.
Well, it’s hardly my fault.  I mean – I just glanced at her. For two seconds – three, tops!







It’s tough, being a responsible adult.  So I’ve heard.


Household rulers




I’m normally done in 15 seconds anyway, actually.

Some evenings she likes just to chain him to the cold cellar floor, come upstairs, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and a box of tisues and settle down to a good rom-com on TV.

As long as the first ring goes on OK, erections shouldn’t be a problem.

That is the deal.  I have yet to discover when, if ever, is ‘off shift’.
I seem to spend my whole life charging devices – if it’s not the shock collar, it’s the phone, and all her vibrators need constantly to be fully charged too… modern world, I suppose.


Marriage service





The marriage is still going to be based on respect – a lot of respect. It’s just not going to be mutual.

It’s actually quite enlightening, being lent out to former, vanilla, girlfriends.  There’s all sorts of things you discover you did, or said, during the relationship that you’ve long since forgotten but they’re eager to discuss.

Of course, she can’t expect perfection, and she doesn’t.  She just requires it, that’s all.
The other lady has the rings ready – and he’s already been pierced, so they can just be welded on.
I was still being spanked by my mother at home when I met my first girlfriend, actually.  She was one of my sister’s friends who’d come round to do some homework, and she came downstairs to find out what all the noise was about.