Category: caption

I can still hear you saying

… you would never break the chain.


Oh, not again…

Do you know, I think I might be so full after all that, I don’t think I could face a dessert? But fortunately, no one cares what I think.

I’ve suffered from a few sexual complaints in my time.
Well, it’s hardly my fault.  I mean – I just glanced at her. For two seconds – three, tops!







It’s tough, being a responsible adult.  So I’ve heard.


Household rulers




I’m normally done in 15 seconds anyway, actually.

Some evenings she likes just to chain him to the cold cellar floor, come upstairs, grab a bottle of Chardonnay and a box of tisues and settle down to a good rom-com on TV.

As long as the first ring goes on OK, erections shouldn’t be a problem.

That is the deal.  I have yet to discover when, if ever, is ‘off shift’.
I seem to spend my whole life charging devices – if it’s not the shock collar, it’s the phone, and all her vibrators need constantly to be fully charged too… modern world, I suppose.


Sexual veneration

I have quite a few tattoos – my SO says it gives her a feeling of ownership. Mostly shopping lists or phone numbers.









Still, she’s wearing a proper medical outfit, so you know you’re safe in professional hands.

Poor Andy.  Bet he felt humiliated!
I’m quite good at scrabble.  I’m rubbish at blow jobs, though… everyone says so.


Looks like someone has forgotten the virtues of kindness!  Honestly, saying such hurtful about Felicity; it’s hardly in the spirit of charity and forgiveness that the Order prescribes, is it? 


The angel at my side…

…. she gives me good advice.

Actually, the idea that men can’t multi-task is a complete myth.  Men who think they can’t just need to meet a woman with the right attitude.  It’s just laziness.
Don’t worry… they don’t tug hard.  She does, but that’ll be the scrotal clip, not the nipple… so not so bad.

Life as a conversation piece.

Oh well. It’s better than coming back down to ‘discuss’ it while they’re still here.  I hate that.
Decisions, decisions.   Thank goodness I never have to make any.

You make a grown man cry





Don’t worry: Janine would never let you be eaten by some cat on the street.  She has her own cat whom she loves dearly.









You can buy her gifts too.  Lots of them, to make sure there are at least a few she’ll like.



 This is the wonderful, clever and creative Lady Sophia Black, who has occasionally had the bad luck to encounter Servitor in person, but managed to come out smiling an evil smile the other side.  She is – needless to say – not at all like the personality depicted in the caption.
  







It’s going to be kind of like the Revenant but without clothes.  Or the bear.  And shorter.







I read a men’s lib magazine once when I was a teeanger – it was being passed around the boys at school, you know.  I didn’t understand much of it, but it suggested that readers try to discuss some of the ideas in it with the women  in their lives, so I asked one of my sisters and she explained it to me at length.











That’s the trouble with marriage problems – one day you think everything’s fine, that you’re in love and nothing can ever disturb that: then before you know it you’re hanging naked on a meat hook about to be castrated. You woinder where it went wrong, you know?  The important thing to remember is that it’s all your fault.






Seductive logic


I understand they have some extra toppings to add, too.


Seems only fair.  He was up half the night, poor chap.

Knew I should have gone with the gift card.

I went to see the St Trinians movie as soon as it came out, but I was a bit disappointed that I was the only one who’d bothered to dress up for it.  

Thanks for coming.


Marriage service





The marriage is still going to be based on respect – a lot of respect. It’s just not going to be mutual.

It’s actually quite enlightening, being lent out to former, vanilla, girlfriends.  There’s all sorts of things you discover you did, or said, during the relationship that you’ve long since forgotten but they’re eager to discuss.

Of course, she can’t expect perfection, and she doesn’t.  She just requires it, that’s all.
The other lady has the rings ready – and he’s already been pierced, so they can just be welded on.
I was still being spanked by my mother at home when I met my first girlfriend, actually.  She was one of my sister’s friends who’d come round to do some homework, and she came downstairs to find out what all the noise was about.


Penalty and repentance

 

They are – and not just the food.  The sex will be longer, more satisfying and 100% female, too.
You get a special decoration too.  Not a medal.  Just… decoration.
Sometimes a question isn’t really a question.
 
It’s always difficult arriving as a substitute teacher, in the middle of the school year.  But just do your best.  Maybe Mr Harris will turn up again – he must be somewhere, after all.
Perpetuity is quite a long time.  It might feel even longer.




I’m just wild about Harry

No, not Archie’s dad.  Her.  I always  have  been.  Rapture!


But no captioned images of the divine Mistress Deborah, I am afraid, as the available ones tend to be fuzzy vid-caps.  Just the usual sort of thing, you know.


But only if you want to, obviously.







The anaestheologist is very skilled in pain management, so there’s no need to worry.
And don’t imagine there’ll be any ankles nakedly on display or anything lewd of that nature!


She’s got some suitable things for you to wear too.
They’re also going to have a little practice the day before, to make sure everything goes smoothly on the big day.  Just on a bit of you that no one will notice.