Category: caption

Missgoverned

Just so there’s no misunderstanding.

 

 

 

Oh dear.  I hope she gets over the embarrassment quickly.

 

 

 

Don’t worry about the whip – her aim’s terrible when she’s a bit sloshed, so you should be fine.

 

 

 

Her colleague Tanya’s not quite so talkative – but don’t worry, she’ll look after you.

 

 

This just gets better and better – first bondage, now she’s phoning a sexy friend and by the sound of it roast turkey when you’ve finished!  And people worry about going off for bondage scenes with complete strangers.


 

Venging angels

Like many guys, I walk around fully conscious of the big swinging padlock between my legs.

 

 

It’s actually a very environmentally-friendly way of disposing of old shoes.

 

 

 

Oh, all right then.  Let’s be daring, for a change.

 

 

It must be weird being vanilla – you do a sexy maid scene and hardly any floor actually gets scrubbed.  I’m not sure I could cope with that kind of unrealistic fantasy.

OWK’s safety record overall was only middling, but that average conceals an important disparity between male and female injuries, the latter being thankfully rare, the former equally thankfully daily.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Embarassingly accurate

I wonder if she’s jealous that she never gets to do the ironing any more?

 

 

 

The girls could probably handle more than ten reasons, but at that point the boys would run out of fingers so it’s probably best not to go there.

 

 

 

Don’t worry, he won’t be there all night.  She’s got a pillory in the bedroom too.  In fact, it’s the same model so he can just stagger there still wearing the cross-piece and it slots right in.


I was too worried about ending up with some embarrassing word tattooed on me in Chinese or Japanese so my SO kindly agreed to do it in English instead – just as well, as it turns out ‘wanker’ doesn’t translate directly.

 

 

 

You could try licking the tears back up.

 

 

 

Oppressive unreality

 

That seems very fair.  In the early days of our marriage my SO would occasionally let me vote on things, although of course she had the tiebreaking vote in case of a 1-1 outcome.  It made me feel empowered and valued, which is presumably why she stopped doing it.


 

No mother-in-law jokes, please – she has many sterling qualities (firmness, willpower, attention to detail) but unfortunately ‘a sense of humour’ is not one of them.

 

 

Fortunately, there are plenty of male disciplinary jobs in the new Matriarchy for former sex-workers – oddly enough, it’s the vanilla ones who’ve been most enthusiastic about it.

 

 

 

Don’t worry: Mistress won’t let her hurt you without good cause.

 

And if you did mind, it really wouldn’t matter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot and unbothered

People talk a lot about objectification, but really there’s nothing wrong with getting off on the sight of a lovely pair of eyes going all red and tearful as the soap gets rubbed in.


 

 

If it’s hurting it’s working.

 

 

 

Shhh!



‘Ignoring it’ is something that happens a lot so maybe sterner measures are needed.


She’ll be having enough orgasms for both of you – it’s her generous nature.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Terror the human form divine

A family friend was branded by a Canadian domme.  He kicked up a bit of a fuss when she started on the French translation, but ‘la loi c’est la loi’, I guess. 

 

 

He’s sulky because when they have guests around he’s usually allowed to stay up.  But after she had to deal with a tantrum at their last dinner party, she’s decided not to risk it.

 

 

 

 

Don’t forget to look super-relaxed.




A few hours spent torturing a male doesn’t make a lesbian relationship any less vanilla, any more than cuddling together in front of the TV with a box of chocolates makes them choco-fetishists. 


 

 

I’m sure you don’t mind – you married her for her personality, not her looks, right?  And she certainly has a very strong personality.

 

 

 

 

Their beauty and their style

He can do 100 words a minute – most of them being ‘sorry’.

 

 

 

I don’t see why it’s so unethical.  I mean, consent was sought and freely… well, consent was given anyway, which is the main thing.


 

 

 

She’s always hungry. She always needs to feed. She must eat. All she gets is nasty Orcses.

 

 


I think we can all agree that anyone doing that deserves whatever Hayley feels like handing out (and she’s a big strong girl).




Romance, revenge and healthy exercise, all in one long, happy afternoon.


 

Strictly enforced whims

C’mon, give it a chance.  She wore the red dress for you, after all.

 

 

 

Don’t get the wrong idea: they take bullying very seriously.  All the girls get three bullying classes every week (as do the boys and the male teachers, albeit in a different way), and most of them are in the after-school club too.  They’re regional champions.


 

 

Actually, I’d have been able to tell Kurt was here even it wasn’t for the loud grunting noises – who else leaves a bag of dirty laundry waiting for me in the hall? One day, he’s going to go too far and he and I are going to have to have words.  But not today: he’s a bit busy and that dinner won’t make itself.

 




Oh well, so much for that day out.

 

 

This could turn into a vicious spiral.

 

 


 

Despotic fantasies

Yes.  Much improved.

A scene from Horrible Bosses (or its sequel): movies exploring the premise that being sexually harassed by Jennifer Aniston wearing a dentist’s outfit would be just awful.  As obviously it… hang on.  I think you don’t even have to be submissive to like the thought of that, do you?  And if you are…




Isolated even if not technically self-isolated.  Very safe.




The important thing is to get you crying in pain – then the other stuff will be easy enough to sort out.

 

The smell will probably get them in the mood for the barbecue at the Reception, too.

 

 

And yet also how slowly.