Category: caption

When you see her, say a prayer and kiss your heart goodbye

She’s trouble, in a word get closer to the fire.  Run faster, her laughter burns you up inside.

Mistress Annie, and her bearded keyboards boy, of course.

She’s very good with pain.


If you don’t want to do that, just tell her.  You could try stamping your little foot and having a tantrum even – you never know, it might work out quite well.


Drill, baby, drill.

It’s funny how men go on and on about themselves and their jobs, but women rarely do.  She should try being more assertive.
This is what a femme fatale really looks like.  Believe me – a long cigarette holder and a slinky dress has nothing on a battery of field artillery.




Meek and feeble




He’s made a lifetime commitment.
My SO always says a bit of bruising on a man’s face can be quite attractive, anyway.
 Actually, the market is a bit limited as sissy husbands tend not to have much time for reading, or a lot of pocket money.
It’s all a bit academic (if you’ll pardon the pun), actually, because the school moved four years ago and there isn’t actually a Staircase B any more.  Still, that’s no excuse for not memorising the rule properly, is it, boy?


I think the correct response is “Mmmmphh!”


And when he pulls his frilly nylon panties right up tight

…He feels a dedicated follower of fashion

Oh yes he is (oh yes he is)

But you get bigger tips, so maybe it’s nearly even.

There!  Now who can still claim that men can’t take on front-line combat roles?
I’ve heard chlorinated water can be quite good for cuts and bleeding welts, so maybe if you ask nicely she’ll ask them to dip you in the pool when you’re done.


Yet oddly enough, he still gets it wrong. Men and housework… will they ever learn?

Sissy fights always end the same way, at least when wives are around to step in.

The record shows I took the blows

And did it Her way



Yum.  Has it really been a year? How time flies.

No problem.  I’ll just go and live out the remainder of my life nursing the ache at the core of my empty existence.  Bye.

Actually, if you save up enough of your pocket money, maybe you could… I mean, that would be OK, right?  About four months should do it, if you’re careful not to spend money on anything else.

Well, I think it’s outrageous. I mean, she wouldn’t wear a coat that had been made by killing and skinning a human being, would she?


Don’t forget to say gracias.  Mucho, mucho gracias, Senora

Prisencolinensinainciusol

As they say about President Knavs’s husband’s tweets: I think the title speaks for itself.








I understand more and more people these days are digging out cellar* conversions, creating lots of lovely extra space down there, far, far down beneath sound-proofed floors.

 *basement

They could go down to the cellar* and play with her toys.

* still ‘basement’

I’ve got a special brown card – it’s kind of the opposite of a loyalty scheme.  Hotels and airlines treat me like dirt wherever I go.

 I wrote a story about loyalty cards once.  That was when I wrote stories featuring the first domme I ever visited and her friend. They appear briefly in this one, under false names.  

But this was my favourite from back then.

I dunno. Feels a bit weird, trying on her dead dad’s dresses.  Don’t know why.

Apparently she does humiliation scenes too.  She just doesn’t always know when she’s doing one.


It’s savage and it’s cruel

And it shines like destruction.

Sometimes without even noticing they exist.
The previews of the show are incredibly positive.  “Massively talented”, “Genius”, “Art’s new guru”. She’s certainly done something to impress the critics.

As I’ve mentioned before, I think men with an interest in maledom could learn a lot from a dominant woman with the right approach.


Tsk. That’s no comfort.  They’re usually so interested in each other, they might forget about me for days at a time.

I suppose the neck belt might interest someone.  And the very clean decor.

I wanna

be her dog?


wagwagwag…


He’ll be paying rent to her as well.  The monthly rate is a very reasonable “everything”.






Mistress Akella, there, showing how patient dommes need to be at times.







Oh, I don’t suppose Janice would mind.  She’s very easygoing.  As long as you stay on the leash, you can pretty much do your own thing when she’s not around. It’s that kind of marriage.





In OWK, slaves aren’t judged on whether they fail or succeed.  Just on how badly they fail.









She seems nice. Remember, though: it is very unprofessional to get involved romantically with your clients.  So don’t even think about it.

Singularity

Back after a well-deserved miserable and brutal few weeks at the kennels, I find this blog has attracted over six million pageviews, since its launch in 2011.  What an extraordinary volume of smut, gibberish and unfunny jokes served up to perverted wankers with nothing better to do with their time, to be sure.  Makes you glad to be alive in this age of technological marvels.  

But I also learn that the best of our technological future is yet to come: my time machine has once again recorded a few TV news snippets from some unspecified future year.  For once, the images seem to form a coherent sequence (as coherent as anything on this blog, anyway) so read them in order.  Or just look at the pictures of pretty women and masturbate – whatever.