caption – Page 106 – Contemplating the divine

I worked eleven hours and bought the girl some flowers

Makes it all worthwhile (trigger warning: link contains scenes of male equality and ordinary life).

It’s amazing how much easier the invention of electricity has made these simple tasks. In the old days she’d have had to bend you over, whack you with a birch rod or something… now she just presses a button enough times, and presto you’re balancing books! We have a lot to be thankful for.

Most of the book’s concerned with proper cleaning and ironing of military uniforms. You’ll be discovering a lot about that, later on. Still – first things first.

Caption writing’s like that. At first, you really agonise about whether you’ve tersely managed to capture the essence of a scene, but after a while you realise you can just publish any old crap and the sad wankers who read your blog will keep coming anyway, because they only want to look at the pictures. Which is really great if you run out of original or clever ideas!

Dommes in the city.

Don’t worry. She‘s not going to have to stay on duty for fourteen hours. They share the time between three of them. It’s quite tiring work, whipping men into carrying great piles of stones around, after all.

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn. Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it’s any consolation, Jerry’s no happier about it than you are, In fact, he’s bloody furious. Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm. That’s diamonds eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don’t want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?

Lap of honour

She uses a system of rewards and penalties. Some days, when you’ve done particularly well, you’re rewarded by not being penalised.

I wasn’t a service oriented submissive when I started out, but my SO sent me on an orientation course.

The other things are negotiable. Just go ahead and negotiate – but you do have to be in position first, OK?

In any marriage, learning when to communicate – and when to stay silent – is as important as learning how.

I find these networking sites can really eat up my time. I had fifteen ironing assignments on Slavr last week, for example – took me hours to get all that done – and then there were eight notifcations waiting for me on Spankr. I thought all this technology was supposed to give us all more free time?

Subjugated

I think you might be about to experience a consciousness-lowering session.

I’m impressed she’s still got the energy after a 10-hour flight. Stewardesses are amazing, don’t you think?

At one point I lived near this really seedy red-light district near Spitalfields in London. Quite early on, I explained to one of the streetwalkers that I disapproved of exchanging money for sex and she was kind enough to let me give her money and then just go away every week thereafter. I wonder where she is now? The standing order still goes through to her bank account, so I guess she’s still around.

Because of this, obviously. Pervy lot, architects.

Many men find it a bit of a shock at first, being married. Just try and keep it to no more than 8-10 jolts a day, at moderate settings, and you’ll get used to it soon enough.

…and an extra one, for Paltego who enjoys photoshoots of dommes playing pool badly:

Domestic violence

I want readers of this blog to be quite clear: I am totally opposed to domestic violence. Luckily for me, She isn’t.

She’s not a morning person. Nor was he before he got married, come to think of it.

Jean and Roger are pretty cool, for a couple in their late 70s, huh?

Mnemonics very easily make juvenile subbies utterly nervous.

I suppose a tip is out of the question?

The wonderful Lexi Sindel of course, who can be observed from a suitably safe distance at English Mansion and Femdom Empire, amongst other places.

Divorce can be a painful process.

Pay to obey

I do.

Just remember to tell yourself that he’s just as humiliated by this as you are, OK?

Don’t listen to them. There’s plenty of kinky three-way sex in your future – it’s one of the most popular activities at the leather bar they’re selling you to.

I could probably work with it, to be honest.

You know, I think sooner or later I have failed every single ‘challenge’ a domme’s ever set for me in session. I’m beginning to think they might be rigged.

It’s good she isn’t letting a little thing like that rock her confidence. I’m sure her former client wouldn’t have wanted that.

Happy Hathaday!

Thirty-four today and still stopping hearts! Happy Hathaday to all the blog’s regular readers.

I’m personally quite excited (well, as excited as the steel tube will let me) about Anne’s new film, Colossal, in which she stomps all ovcer a South Korean city, causing mahem and destruction as she –

What’s that you say? The stomping is actually done by an insectoid CGI monster which might or might not be telepathically linked to Anne’s character, or indeed might not be real?

Oh. That doesn’t sound so much fun. I wonder why they went with that. When they could’ve…mmm.

Still, it’s an Anne movie so you can bet I’ll be saving up my pocket money for the next few weeks to be able to afford a cinema ticket. In the meantime, here are some Hathaptions… no, that’s rubbish, erm, Anneotated Hatha.. erm… oh anyway, they’re captioned images of The Divine and that’s what this blog is all about.

Three new ones:

And some of my favourites from the old ones you’ve seen before, so you don’t have to go to the trouble of clicking ‘Heart-stopping beauty’ in the wordycloud there. Remarkably, this little collection represents considerably less than a third of the Anne captions I’ve done – but still manages to get very repetitive. Amazing, huh?

…and my favouritest of all:

If voting changed anything….

Generally this blog doesn’t comment on political or topical events but…but… is there anyone out there who still thinks it’s a good idea to let men vote? I mean, really? Could there be better proof that politics is just not something that we should bother our silly little heads about? It’s not as if I’d mind the smack of firm government in the right hands, but…

Oh well. Life goes on and I suppose there are things to be thankful for. Not being Estonian, Latvian or Lithuanian just now, for example.

Probably best just to think about happier things, like torture, forced labour and humiliation. So, back to business as usual.

Hmmm
“breath play”? Well, I guess being breathed upon can’t be so bad.
Thank goodness – I thought she was in a vengeful mood after I broke that
ornament of hers.

Actually, it’s fairly obviously the whipping post by the fountain. The one by the walled garden is already occupied by his lordship.

Of course, this isn’t the first time he’s been on his knees since then. In fact, he’s rarely off them in her presence these days.

Devil Planet, Space 1999. The gift that keeps on giving.

Actually her sister’s much more the vicious sadist than she is. She can only get off when she’s making a man scream hysterically in pain. She keeps it very separate from her dentistry, though – she’s professional like that.

Unrequited contempt

It’s always best to ask women in advance what they want. Imagine how awful it would be to spend an hour or two every day for a year writing 36,500 lines only to find out she’d really have preferred something else.

That’s not how many kicks you’re actually going to get, you understand. She just wants to understand how guilty you feel.

With Brexit it’s probably a good idea to own a few professionals based in Germany or France, too. You know – diversify.

Just take one whenever you experience feelings of adequacy or self-confidence.

What an honour.

Helplessly devoted

When you wake up I’m sure you’ll feel quite different.

Looks like some language lessons are in order!

It’s good of Mike to make sure she’s satisfied before he has his fun. He’s thoughtful like that.

It can be difficult for stepchildren at first. Feelings of rage, resentment. The books say it’s best not to hold it in, so from the look of it things are going to turn out all right in this case.

Nice warm bath with a cast-lit novel, then a back-rub and pop Elastrating Edward into the DVD player. Bliss.

…and an extra one, because of previous incompetent duplicate posting. Thanks Ralph D!