caning – Page 8 – Contemplating the divine

She says…

Not complaining. It’s just that I usually make it through the first three minutes without one, that’s all.

Try to be reasonable. She is. She sees good in everyone actually – a rare gift.

Obviously, it’s all perfectly consensual. She asked for her husband to be beaten. And she’s got a safeword – you know, just in case it goes too far.

My SO and I are actually playing what I’m fairly sure is the longest game of tease and denial ever right now. We started on our wedding night and it’s just amazing. I tried calling the Guinness Book of Records people but they said it didn’t count because I am such a sad little loser.

Downton domination. More of these to come.

Fear and loving

They go together so well. More common than you might think.

In the – very unlikely – event that it does start giving you punishment-level shocks, there’s a helpline you can call that’s open every single day between 10 and 4, and usually only has a very short waiting time. So… nothing to worry about.

That’s the thing about a good thrashing with a cane: it’s so straightforward. You know where you stand (corner, usually).

And there’s some lubricant in case any chafing symptoms emerge, for whatever reason.

Don’t worry: she’s planning to consummate the marriage. Just not with you.

I’ve always thought the mens lib movement would be much more effective if they just recognised reality and put a woman in charge. But they like to try to do things by themselves, bless them.

Kept men

(we don’t talk about the discarded ones).

Another 2% fantasise desperately about it not happening, or at least not so often and not quite so hard.

Featuring the lovely and no-nonsense Miss Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress.

Right. It’s about time all this nonsense stopped – I’m going to put my foot down. In fact, I’m going to stamp my foot – hard. Several times. And I’m going to to have a proper tantrum. That should show her she can’t treat me like this.

Their faces usually fall again when she goes on to inform them that she will therefore proceed to the next thrashing, for the next item on her list.

I once asked my SO if she could feminise me, but she just laughed and said she’d love to, but I don’t have the IQ to make a convincing woman.

She cares a lot.

By the way, not ‘found femdom’ in any meaningful way, but over the break I’ve been watching episodes of 90s British sitcom Game On and perving ever so slightly to the lovely Samantha Janus and especially her relationship with the character Martin. I watched it occasionally at the time it was broadcast and it’s as weird and spectacularly depressing as ever, as the basic set-up is that Matt – a neurotic, agoraphobic narcissist – rents out rooms in his flat to Martin (a wimp) and Mandy (a goddess!). Martin is a virgin desperate for sex, while Mandy is frustrated with her life and hates herself for sleeping with so many men. But (da-dum), the only men she absolutely will not have sex with are the other two characters. With Matt, she refuses and pushes him away but with Martin it obviously never even occurs to her to have sex with him. There’s a lovely scene in this episode (intended to be the first ever, although they varied the order of broadcast), in which her latest boxer boyfriend takes up her whole bed, so she snuggles up with Martin, who lies there with an erection the whole desperate night. Here, starting 16.22. Ahhh…

So, yeah, not in any way femdom. Except that Samantha Janus is quite literally a goddess and I for one intend to found a religion in her honour.

She is notionally Samantha Womack these days, but I’ll be hunting down Mr so-called Womack and forcing the blasphemer to change his name to Janus, as is only right and proper, so don’t worry about that.

Desperate househusbands

Oh dear… the guys are sure to laugh at me now. I mean… ‘LUT’. Doesn’t mean anything does it? How ridiculous.

I’m told that masturbating to porn can seriously diminish the male libido over the long run as well, so you just keep on doing what you’re doing, ‘k?

Actually, only one of them is going to be kissing in a very special place. Just after this conversation, the Mistresses decided it would be one orgasm between them, not one each. But no jealousy, sissies – play nice!

My SO is very good at dealing with feelings of guilt, too.

Edwardian femdom. There’s not enough of it about, in my opinion.

I’ll get some nuts

Is this femdom? Works for me. But then, like at least 80% of the male British population, I adore Olivia Coleman.

But I’ve only got one – after that thing with Angie last week. Oh… go on then.

It’s actually a grotesque stereotype that gay men molest straight men in public lavatories. Also, most gay men aren’t attracted to guys in little maids’ dresses. So: you’re safe on two counts. But you can have the butt-plug if you want to be sure. Or if she decides it might look funny.

You need to be careful online, though. My SO once took up what She thought was an offer of a fit young 22 year-old guy and She found Herself the owner of this rather unattractive 52 year-old. She was quite cross with him for lying like that, so of course when She later tried to get rid of him , he was badly damaged and She ended up having to send him to landfill. I’m not saying people shouldn’t sell themselves into slavery online, obviously, but they need to take some care, that’s all.

That’ll be two us without a choice in the matter, then. I wonder who does decide these things?

There’s nothing so relaxing as knowing you can scream and thrash hysterically in fear and pain as much as you like. Time to hand over control.

Scornography

Submissive husbands sometimes don’t realise how embarassing it must be for their partners to be married to such hopeless, pathetic losers.

She’s definitely one of those teachers that students will remember all their lives.

Another lady who takes pride in her work. They say pride is a sin but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to include women.

As if she didn’t have one packed for the honeymoon already.

Sure, no rush. Pain’s pain, at any time.

Try to see it Her way

…only time will tell if She is right or you are wrong.

Not do a good job at ‘good vigorous vanilla sex’? Little chance of that, I can assure you! Prepare for the best eleven seconds of your life, baby!

She later sold the house… said it contained too many memories.

If this blog is still going in three years, I guess this isn’t really going to work.

Looks like everyone’s having a slow, lazy afternoon.

She actually found it quite traumatic to watch, as she did the three she watched later on in the holiday. But she bought the souvenir DVD anyway.

Speaking of holiday – I’m going off on one, fnarr fnarr. So, usual CtD summer: with slightly faded but unused old captions published on a daily basis with minimal fuss. Watch this space… but don’t forget to refresh your screen, or it’ll be a long dull summer for you.

Beaten senseful

She’s got a very playful personality.

This blog does like to feature male doms and sadists from time to time, in the interests of balance.

Oh not the legs as well!

When ‘the mess’ has been tidied up I’m going to be launching a formal complaint. Think she’s in trouble now? Just wait.

Don’t tell her that Mistress Hilda’s new boy has been branded with her initials… you’d never hear the end of it.

Love is a danger of a different kind

It’s guilt edged, glamorous and sleek by design; you know it’s jealous by nature,
false and unkind.

Cuts and more cuts! What do I pay my taxes for, I’d like to know? Well… OK, I don’t actually pay taxes because I just get £5 a week pocket money. But my wife pays taxes on my income, so I think this is just disgraceful.

That’s a rhetorical question. No need to provide reasons in response.

Let’s find out.

Lose coffee privileges?? Ooh – hard limit! Red, Mistress, red!

Which is quite often, obviously.

You know how bad girls get

Ah.. school days – cold showers, long tedious detentions, horrible over-cooked cabbage for lunch, exams and homework… not to mention the corporal punishment and the humiliating bullying. It seems so long ago now… must be months at least. I really must book another session.


No I never said that! So unfair, you horrible old cow. Oops.

But not so brave as to refuse. There’s brave and there’s sheer suicidal lunacy.

Spelling ‘wear’ wrong shouldn’t go unnoticed and uncorrected, either.

Mistress Teresa May, obviously. Of all the things that could complicate a career in professional domination, “Having the same name as the Prime Minister” (or vhery nhearly the same) was probably not one that she anticipated.

I think she’s probably right there. You might have to conduct a careful examination of her feet before you’re sure, though.

He probably doesn’t know what the capital of Gabon is. Trouble is, nor does she. I wonder how they’ll resolve the impasse?