bride – Page 7 – Contemplating the divine

Youngers and betters

Memo to self: stop using the phrase “there’s nothing worse than X” in front of SO. She takes it as a personal challenge.

You’ll soon discover that a day with no whipping at all is a special day. Very special.

Don’t worry, they’re not having you castrated and lobotomised until after the marriage. Just after: between the ceremony and the reception. You can think of it as your wedding gift to them.

Poor old Simon – doesn’t get to see the sexy lingerie! And to think she was worried you might be jealous of him.


Appendectomy: of course. After all, that nurse would hardly have shaved his groin area this morning if it was his throat that was being operated on, now would she?

Striking poses

As my SO points out: lots of women enjoy sex with their husbands, she prefers sex without her husband. The difference is only a few letters but it’s a big deal for her, so who am I to argue?

Mmmm … a severe scolding, Mistress?

It’s going to be a special day for her boyfriends too. And their mates.

Of course the OWK had safewords really. In a variety of quite widely-spoken Central European languages, so there was really no excuse for ‘guests’ not knowing how to pronounce them perfectly.

Her kink is not your kink – are you going to make a selfish fuss?

And I’ll be (your sharp intake of breath)

Mistress Lennox, of course… and that beardy bloke called Dave.

‘Ideas’ in the same sense that Pinterest sends me emails suggesting I check out ‘ideas’ about boots, corsets or traditional girls’ school uniforms. And chickens, oddly enough.

Those vanilla passengers can be rather tiresome. Fortunately one encounters fewer of them, these days.

I have a limited skill set, unfortunately. And I’m rubbish at it.

Don’t worry – lots of bridegrooms feel a bit nervous on the big day. None of the guests are likely to realise how well-founded your fears actually are.

It’s an arguable case, legally, or at least it would be were anyone in a position to argue about it. Which they won’t be, obviously.

Talking about pain

Not enough couples do that.

As you can see, she takes quite an old-fashioned approach to discipline. Most wives these days just use the app.

She can put it with all the other things waiting for him in their honeymoon suite.

I hope she learns an important lesson about bullying. Or a few new techniques, anyway.

How very tiresome.

Ironically enough, although they put on a remarkable burst of speed, when they reached Capri there’d been an unseasonable spring storm and the blossom was in tatters. She took it in good part, though: silly to get upset over something like that. There’s always next year.

Marital law

Just before he takes his real marriage vows.

Don’t worry: biting during sex play is considered vanilla these days, so no one at work is likely to bat an eye if you turn up with a few playful bite marks on your neck, slightly raggedy ears or a couple of missing fingers. So just let her go with it.

My SO thinks electric shocks are funny too. I’ve never really seen the humour in it myself, but maybe it’s one of those Mars/Venus things.

It’s always worth
buying things in bulk. My friends at school bought me a lifetime’s
supply of condoms and I’m less than one third of the way through.
Exactly one third, actually.

The decision-making in this marriage is shared. Once she’s made a decision, she shares it with you. Well… it’s best to know, isn’t it?

And a topical one for the Brits:

Sadistically significant

I rather think the romantic evening’s just getting started, don’t you?

Despite her attitude to sexists, she’s a great believer in naval tradition. ‘Rum, sodomy and the lash’ and all that, although obviously today’s navy is alcohol-free.

Perhaps Paul and Irene could discuss it later.

Possibly several things. There’s always something.

She looks nice. Just as well when you’re that small and vulnerable.

I will show you games where the winner never wins

So lock away the childhood and throw away the key.

Probably best just to do it. Discussions about obedience can become very repetitive.

I think the best years of their relationship are ahead of them.

Like many subs, I find there are limits to how much pain I can take… but none to how much I can receive.

Frekke gutter som går av og oversetter bildeteksten under disse bildene, tar bloggen altfor seriøst.

If he doesn’t, they can always turn their attention to the so-called ‘best man’.

Sing when she’s winning

Scurry scurry scurry!

Much like his response to the question the priest will be asking him a little later.

I’ve occasionally asked my SO whether she’d consider putting me on obedience pills but weirdly she says she prefers an occasional bit of disobedience. Which is odd, because she always seems so cross about it… women, eh?

Even if he sued her and won, there’d be the question of damages and I think any competent (i.e. female) lawyer would advise that those would be derisory and purely token, at best.

It’s all part of growing up.

She’s right, you know

She just is.

My
SO once told me that it was on our honeymoon that I gave her the best
sex she’s ever experienced. Which is a bit of luck, really, as you
never know what you’re going to get when you’re in a foreign place and
you don’t know the escort agencies well.

It’s only fair: she took his electric razor, when they split up, I understand.

Got there eventually. Well done. Now let’s talk about ironing pleats.

Don’t worry: he won’t allow himself to be improperly influenced. Properly influenced, yes, certainly, possibly even vigorously influenced. But no more than that.

Women, eh? Sometimes you’re supposed to scream in agony, sometimes you’re supposed to stay silent. How are we supposed to know? I mean, unless they use ball-gags and stuff.

Head under heels

That’s the way I fell in love, many years and almost as many orgasms ago…

It’s important to fight back against the stereotypes. Wear the t-shirt, use the hashtag, carry the pliers.

Well, it’s more romantic than stealing them from clotheslines.

It’s best not to think about it too much. Thinking generally isn’t a sissy maid’s strong point anyway.

I’ve never really understood knitwear fetishism, although enforced knitting as an alternative to line-writing has its attractions.

Thank goodness for that. Lots of vanilla escorts wouldn’t have been so in tune with your needs, you know, might have just gone ahead and given you a blow job anyway. She’s obviously very special.