boots – Page 13 – Contemplating the divine

Back in harness

So, here we are. Back from my fabulous tour of the Greek islands. Well… I assume we toured the Greek islands. There aren’t actually any windows in the middle galley deck of a trireme, so I am not quite sure, but we definitely went from one place to another, sometimes quite fast. We had some lovely tour guides, who encouraged us along, while this big bald guy played a drum (somewhat repetitively in my view, but even the most sophisticated musical talent has to begin somewhere I suppose). These tour guides didn’t speak any English, but they managed to get their message across quite effectively.

I hope you all had a good time while I was gone. Back to normal, as from today.

I quite liked this one. Why should safewords only work in one direction?

If I got the chance, that is.

I hope she realises that we submissives need to stick together.

There are many words that sound like bitch. Very few that sound like cattle prod. Or feel like one.

Indeed we don’t. Not after the last time.

Merciless heavens

But don’t forget your manners: introduce her to your workmates too, as otherwise they’ll feel awkward.

Don’t worry, she’ll give you something later to wash away the nasty taste.

Better than those guys who accidentally press the button when the camera’s pointing downward and take pictures of their dicks.

Never liked blindfolds or hoods… this is why.

Not too big, not too small.

Then someone falls in love… and someone’s beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still… best day of my life.

No, it’s not medical malpractice. His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual ‘treatments’ he receives. And they have done.

That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful? Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously. Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it? How can they get away with stuff like that?

It wasn’t me. I never.

Actually, there probably are some other things that would work. She just hasn’t tried them all yet.

I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they’ve got through Immigration?

Nonsensual BDSM

Of course, it’s more effective to kill mens’ lib off with kindness and reasoned argument. But not nearly as much fun.

I suppose a blowjob is out of the question? You might as well ask… it couldn’t hurt.

Thank goodness she gave you a safeword. OK, she’s gagged you and also forgotten it. But I think that demonstrates her commitment to responsible play.

Oh, nobody still beats her own husband in this day and age do they?

Goodness, what a long one, as no one in the history of the planet has ever said to me.

Charmful

Some men hope for threesomes. Me, I’m lucky if I get a onesome.

She’s also never owned an umbrella in her life.

He’s not looking forward to childbirth.

The sounds the floor makes are very different from those made by wood planking. But very pleasant, nonetheless.

Their ballroom is world famous.

Pet sounds

Let’s hope she’s not trying for a multiple orgasm today.

If they do a good job, she’ll probably want to buy the monthly pass. Works out a lot cheaper.

Hi Belinda. You know, about pain play… I’ve been thinking.

And then he has to sow the wheat but after that he can take a bit of a rest until harvest time. Apart from practicing for the competition at the Country Fair, obviously.

Oh dear. I hope she’s not too disappointed.

Demeaningful statements

Not much of a twist in the storyline in that caption I’ll admit, but sometimes the expression is just, perfectly right.

And they say romance is dead.

Watch out for the bottom-pinchers.

If they manage to catch him and chain him up again, I expect they’ll work out their anger together.

Don’t be afraid to give in to your feelings, Diana. Do not try to fight who you are.

Reality show

What am I wearing?
You want to know what I’m wearing you fucking pervert?

OK, I’m wearing a check shirt and a pair of loose
jeans. What? No, I’m not going to tell you what underwear,
asswipe. But it’s functional: cotton,
you know.

What, you thought I’d put on something sexy just to do this
phone sex call? Fuck you!

Oh, I see, you want me to lie? You want me to tell you I’m just lounging
here in some kind of fetish fantasy garb, hmm…?
Leather bra… big thigh-high boots for you to lick, maybe? You’d like that, huh?

Not going to happen, loser.
You’re paying to jerk off, you’re gonna jerk off to me just as I
am. Jeans, check shirt… no make-up. And I’m sitting on a bus, I’m going grocery
shopping. I need to stock up on tampons, cos it’s my period and I’m almost out? And you have… oh I dunno, like
two minutes before it’s my stop and I end the call, so if you’re gonna jerk off
do it now, asshole.

Hmm? Yeah, the bus is
pretty crowded. You tugging? Up-down-up-down-updownupodownup…

Hurry up, just pulling out from the stop before the mall.

Updownupdowntugtugtugtugtugtugtugtugtug? Oh.

There. Was that
special for you, hun? Hope so, cos it’s
all you’re ever going to get.

Oh, and tribute’s going up by another 40% next month,
creep. And tell that fucking bank of
yours if they’re a day late again, you’re gonna have to go three months without
hearing your Goddess’s voice, yeah?

Yeah, I know you worship me, creep. That’s because I’m female and talk to you
occasionally. Don’t forget – 40%.

Now fuck off.

“Hmm? Yeah, sure I’m wearing gloves and boots. It’s cold here in Buffalo, moron.”

The lovely lady featured in this story is Goddess Rodea, of the American Mean Girls (they seem to have branched out beyond Miami and might even have rebranded again), who really do just sit around in sexy lingerie all day, doing unpleasant things to males. But this caller doesn’t need to know that and I won’t tell him if you don’t, OK?

They can beg and they can plead

…but they can’t see the light.

Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then she’ll begin.

You’re actually already halfway through the session. Might as well finish off.

Good. Good. I expect she’ll be chucking away all those dusty old wine bottles in the cellar and filling up the racks with some nice fresh sparkling wine with cheerful labels, too.

If it’s any consolation to him, after her friend has finished the face-slapping session tomorrow, he will look like a house elf.

As it happens, the second guy from the front is the Financial Director of one of the biggest German pension and insurance conglomerates. He’s wondering whether he should say something here – but by now he’s probably got more sense.

Corrigible

And if you don‘t think so… well, that just proves her point, doesn’t it?

Time for some firmer measures here too.

I have no idea what that means. I don’t even speak Swiss – or Austrian or whatever.

I paid a prostitute for a ‘girlfriend experience’ once. She took out an injunction and banned me from being within half a mile of her. I am allowed to visit her flat once a month to make the payments, though.

Yes. Yes it is.